A Rose In December
by awfulmajestic
Summary: Written in first POV Cody and Randy are best friends living on an old farm just trying to get by after Cody's business fails and leaves Randy facing deportation from the country...
1. Chapter 1

**Title: A Rose In December 1/12**

**Pairing:** Candy

**Rating:** NC17

**Summary:** _Written in first POV_ _Cody and Randy are best friends living on an old farm just trying to get by after Cody's business fails and leaves Randy facing deportation from the country. After failing to get an extension to stay Randy resorts to desperate measures and Cody doesn't know it but he's about to get the surprise of his life!_

**Note:** Written for Kayleigh who is beyond awesome for waiting so long for this fic! You're amazing hun! Thank you so much for all your help and for this lovely idea! I hope you like it! :D

**A/N: **I changed the laws a bit to fit this story. I can't exactly give away how yet but by the end the chapter you'll see what I mean and, just go with it lol okay? Be nice and play along :P

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><p>I'm sitting in a very uncomfortable chair in a very uncomfortable mild yellow waiting room that I have no business being in. Actually, <em>we<em> have no business being here but as fate would have it my best friend isn't exactly a _legal citizen_ of the United States and this is just another appointment to determine how much longer he gets to stay in the country. He filed an extention to last until the end of the year so once that's accomplished we'll go from there and work on getting him another work visa, since the one I previously provided for him is no longer valid.

I shift about anxiously in the very uncomfortable short brown armless chair beside my best friend Randy, checking the time yet again. 2:17. Exactly two minutes since I'd last checked. Damn. Why does this shit always take so fucking long? We made the appointment for 12:30 so why the fuck are we still sitting in this god awful waiting room? I haven't seen anyone come in or out of the office since we arrived so...What's the hold up? The hell if I know, it's always like this when we come here. Well, the few times I've been here anyway. Randy normally goes by himself but this time he asked me to join him so I tagged along and I'm just as nervous and anxious as ever. Because, I fucking _hate _the immigration office.

I hate that these bastards put my friend through this all the time and I _hate_ that eventually one day they will take him away from me. How I manage to be civil and well-mannered here I don't know but some how I manage and today is no different. I'm _very_ quiet, because as the saying goes if you don't have anything nice to say then, don't say anything at all. Randy is quiet too, although he's been reading a magazine, some how capable of concentrating enough to read it thoroughly. But that's Randy. He's cool, calm and collected while I'm silently freaking out and trying my best not to fidget like crazy in my seat.

It's cold in here. And ugly. The yellow really throws me off and clashes with the strange swirls of purple and orange paintings framed in silver and hung along the walls. I don't know who decorated this place but they should be beaten with the same ugly stick they used to create this eyesore. Or given a raise if this was an improvement from the other immigration offices Randy had been forced to sit in. I've only been to this one but Randy says some of them are pretty bad and that, at least this one has color. But that's Randy though, always looking on the bright side of things and seeing that proverbial glass half full.

"Mr. Rhodes and Mr. Orton?" A firm, but distinctly female voice calls our names for the first time since we arrived and we both look towards the small window before us and see the familiar found face of the receptionist peeking out behind it, "Mr. Springfield will be ready to see you in a few minutes." And just like that the door closes and she's gone.

I sigh impatiently, stretching the ache out of my legs as I lean back in the already uncomfortable chair. Great. This should be fun. More waiting. And then the fun really begins when I get to sit in the same room with my bestfriend and watch as some asshole that doesn't even know him fills out the paperwork to have him sent back "home".

Home my _ass_. Randy was born in Canada only because his parents were snowed in on vacation and his mother went into premature labor! Otherwise he'd have been born in the States and we wouldn't be doing this right now! We'd be at home playing Xbox like we wanted to be! Well, like I wanted to be. Randy would rather be working on tuning up his bike or jeep, which ever needed it more. Probably his jeep since he went mudding yesterday.

I can't help but smile as I glance at my friend beside me. The mudding isn't something I really get into but Randy get's a kick out of romping threw the mud in his jeep after every storm that washes the ground enough to get his it covered in the most mud possible. He loves it. His jeep is red when he leaves but when he comes back it's a faded brown, caked from top to bottom in mud and he's more than happy to wash it down. I really don't get it, why make such a huge mess? Seems silly to me and Randy's tried to explain it to me but I never listened enough to remember what he said because I just can't see beyond the massive amounts of mud dripping from his jeep after he pulls into the driveway.

He likes the mess I guess. Which might explain why and how he's able to put up with me for as long as he has. He likes a mess and something about my mess works for him because he's been my best friend for over five years and even though my business went under he stayed by my side the entire time to help see me through the toughest year of my life. I would have starved to death that first winter after I lost my horses had it not been for Randy and his generosity. Granted I had to let him move in to my house and give him an equal say around my home but he was respectful enough and since he went out and found himself some under the table work in town I couldn't really complain. Not that I want to, Randy's a great friend and a lot of fun, almost like a big brother would be. I have one, a brother, but he moved away years ago when I was just a kid and after our parents passed on we just never really kept in touch. And he sure as hell didn't come to help when I lost my business last year. But Randy did. He came and stayed and hasn't left since.

We're lucky to be such good friends, ones that are very close and there's **no** bullshit. I stay home and try to rebuild my ranch after the floods and Randy goes into town to help me pay the bills. We make it work. Actually, _Randy_ makes it work. I, on the other hand, might be completely lost without his help.

I can't say how much longer that's going to last though. Not just because he's facing deportation but, eventually Randy _will_ marry and move on so I should start getting used to the idea of him leaving anyway right?

Actually, he's seeing someone right now. A pretty little thing by the name of Samantha who just happens to be from Canada herself but she's here for college and when she's done she's home bound. She cute and a nice girl and she doesn't help Randy's current situation but if he _married_ her then he would have to leave and I'll have to say goodbye to him anyway...So...Maybe I should just get used to the idea? Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish and let my friend go live his life like he deserves instead of guilting him into sticking around this shit-hole and taking care of my sorry ass?

I close my eyes to chase these thoughts away for what must have been the tenth time that morning and take a slow, _quiet_, deep breath. I hate this fucking placing. It's ugly and small and cruel and only a sadistic reminder that this is really all my fault. Us being here is all on me. Because if my business hadn't failed over a year ago Randy would still have his work visa and we'd be alright and my best friend wouldn't be facing deportation. That and if my business hadn't failed I'd be rich and then I could throw my money at the lawyers from the immigration office to make them go away. You know, money talks, bullshit walks. This wouldn't even be an issue if we just, had _money_.

Unfortunately though, I'm broke. Randy's broke too but I'm _really_ broke like, almost lost my home and had to sell all of my horses type of broke...Sad, I know. But I would be alright if those fucking assholes hadn't poisoned my Champions. My beautiful, fast, perfect Champions that were about to win the big race. I lost all three in one night. And then the flood came...

I shiver with rage that suddenly surges from my gut but quickly shove it down and pry my eyes open to bring me back to the room and out of my thoughts. No. Never mind the past right now. I don't need to let myself think about it. Especially now when I'm facing losing my best friend. The last thing I need to is re-live the fall of my business that I spent my entire life working to build.

"Gentlemen, Mr. Springfield is ready to see you now." Fan-fucking-tastic!  
>"You ready?" Randy nudges me with his elbow and I nod even though I want to say no. Because I'm never ready for these things. Granted this is my first time actually going into Mr. Springfield's office I'm still not ready to meet that asshole who's trying to take my friend away from me...<p>

Randy stands and I slowly join him, biting back a sigh and try to suck it up because this wasn't about me, this was about Randy and I needed to be out of my head for this. I needed to pay attention to what was about to happen to my best friend. I follow him, swallowing hard and how he's so damn calm right now I don't know but he walks with a purpose down a short familiar hallway to Mr. Springfield's office and opens a tall dark wooden door at the end, standing aside to let me inside first. How thoughtful. Fucking dick.

"Afternoon, Mr. Springfield." Randy greets a short, balding but other wise gray haired man perched tight behind a desk that was covered in tall stacks of papers and files neatly organized and marked with various colored notes ticking out from pages here and there. Mr. Springfield was organized. Thorough, and organized. Not a good sign. Mr. Springfield is short, I can tell by he height of his chair that's propped up on it's highest setting, barley putting the desk at his stomach. He's wearing a suit, some faded ugly brown and white shirt thing and round black glasses that are too small for his face. Hideous. Although I didn't dress up I look better in my black jeans and white undershirt than he does in that brown mess. Randy, on the other hand, was dressed in long black slacks and a charcoal gray button down shirt and a light black fitting jacket. He was dressed to impress. Too bad it probably wasn't working.

"Afternoon, boys. Have a seat." Boys? Man, fuck this old bastard. I'm a man of twenty four thank you very much! And Randy's twenty eight! How is he a boy?-! God I'm here for two seconds and already I hate this fucking prick. Because, _boys_? Fuck him. And fuck his awful office too. This place is just so damn unpleasant. And Mr. Springfield does not look like a nice guy and I'm assuming here but, I'd say that's because he's NOT a nice guy. In his line of work of sending people away he probably can't be the most _pleasant_ person in the world so I imagine he takes quite a lot of grief and anger from the people he's "helping". Especially when they've run out of options or extensions while that old bastard sits there and smiles behind his cramped, icky little desk. Honestly his office is too big for what he does, even though he's tucked tight behind a small brown desk that's just _covered_ in paperwork. A filing cabinet or two wouldn't hurt. But, I'll keep that to myself. Because I'm not here to fuck around with this asshole's ugly ass yellow office, I'm here to try and save my friend from deportation. If I can.

Randy sits comfortably in a small short backed black chair before Mr. Springfield's desk but I'm a bit slower about it, looking about anxiously because I hate this place. My heart is racing, my palms sweating and my stomach churning. I'm a fucking _mess._ And how Randy can just walk in and sit down like he did I don't know, I mean, _I_ want to deck Mr. Springfield and we've only just met so I can only imagine the disgust Randy must feel towards the miserable old man trying to send him "home".

I glare at Mr. Springfield behind his desk because I can't help it. The fucker! Get a life and leave my friend the fuck alone! Go chase after some prison rat and leave my hardworking, goodhearted best friend **ALONE!-!**

"It's a good thing you came to see me, Mr. Orton." Mr. Springfield says in a deep, old, southern voice but doesn't even bother to look up from the file he's writing in and it makes me hate him that much more. Fucking prick doesn't even have the decency to look at us as he signs my friends life away! "Your latest application for an extension has been denied, you're set for deportation at the end of the month."

My jaw drops as I fall into a chair beside Randy before Mr. Springfield's desk and almost throw up as my stomach flips. Fuck! No!-! That's not fair I thought Randy had until the end of year left at least! Not that he'd be gone as early as the end of the _month_! I look at my best friend, my heart pounding and my head reeling. But he looks calm, his face drawn into a relaxed, content expression with a confident smile that brightens his eyes and suddenly I think I might have missed something. I search his eyes that are focused solely on the rude, impossible troll before us and they tell me nothing.

I frown hard and my panic doesn't lessen but I'm definitely confused. How can he be so god damn calm?-! He's was about to get deported! This wasn't temporary! It was fucking permanent, didn't that mean anything to him?-!

"_Why_?" Randy asks, still fucking _smiling_, "I thought you said we had a good chance with an extension?"  
>Mr. Springfield nods quickly, "I thought we did but times are tough right now, you know. The government is having a hard time finding work for it's <em>own<em> citizens so more and more applications and extensions are being denied, especially if the applicant is not already employed. I believe I warned you that this was also a possibility, Mr. Orton."

"You did but that's bullshit, how could I be employed if I'm not a legal citizen? You people make it damn near impossible."  
>"No, you failed to maintain a job when you had a visa and therefore you had to file for an extension that was denied. It's not impossible, it's just difficult but doable if the applicant is willing to do the work."<p>

I have to look away and to hide a hard flinch. Great. This is MY fault. Randy didn't fail. I did. And now _he's_ being punished for it...

"So, my extension was denied and that leaves me where, Mr. Springfield?"  
>The older man behind the cramped desk looks up from his work, finding Randy over his glasses, "What do you think, son?" He asks lightly although I could <em>swear<em> there's a hint of satisfaction in his old man voice that Randy must not hear because he's still cool, calm, collected. But **I** hear it.  
>"Pack your bags." Mr. Springfield adds and my gut wrenches as his old face brightens, his lips twitching at the sides as if he's fighting a smile. "You're heading home at the end of the month. Once I finish your papers you should receive a plane ticket in the mail...Unless you have found an employer that's willing to take you on and apply for your new visa?-?"<p>

I shake my head in disgust. Shit. That son of a bitch! He fucking knows we don't have anyone to turn to about this! That's why we're fucking here! I put my face in my hands to breathe because I can't fucking stand to look _anywhere_ anymore. I hide in my palms. I can't stand to see anything but darkness because that's what's closing over us anyway! A horrible, frigid, **evil** darkness that's going to take everything good in our lives away when it comes! Shit shit SHIT! God, fuck, NO! This is not happening!

"No but, actually, Mr. Springfield, I don't think that this is going to be a problem anymore." Randy says and surprised me enough to make my hands jerk down to my lap. It's not going to be a problem?-! Since when?-! I raise a brow, more than curious as I find my friends vibrant blue eyes silently begging me to keep quiet. Randy's up to something, I can feel it and he's silently begging me to play along so I do. I keep quiet, lowering my gaze to my hands that are suddenly clasped together in my lap. I'm here to help Randy, not hurt his chances, I need to remember that.

"In fact, I _know _this will take care of my whole deportation problem." Randy adds and the confidence in his voice makes my nerves start to shake. What in the hell is he up to?-!  
>"Oh?" Mr. Springfield looked up from the mass of paperwork, eying Randy skeptically over the frames of his glasses and he has every right to be skeptic because Randy's exhausted every option and every extension he had. "You do?-?"<br>"Well, see, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Randy replies calmly, leaning back in his chair and I frown at him as he lifts his arm as if he means to put it around me and he does, pulling me towards him by my shoulders and I almost fall from my seat.

I glare at him as I catch myself, bracing my hand on his leg to keep from falling over into his lap. Fuck man, what's this about?-! I'm all for hugging my friends but, now's not really a good time, Randy! I glare a him harder as he tightens his strong arm around my shoulder and pulls me even closer so that there's hardly any space between us. What the fuck?-!

"I know it's not conventional and that you'll have a ton of red tape but," Randy paused, starring at me with a wide, confident smile until I take the hint and smile back, but only a little. What in the _hell_ is Randy _doing_? He looks away and I know I should follow his gaze back to Mr. Springfield but I can't. He's up to something, I know my friend, he's plotting something and without telling me I'm somehow involved. Good thing I can read him well enough to know when to play along...

"Mr. Springfield," Randy said through a shaky breath, his smile faltering with his nerves and if he doesn't get to his fucking point and let me the fuck go I'm going to poke his sorry ass in the eye.

Randy glances at me, then at Mr. Springfield and then back at me where he stays. "This is my fiance. _Cody_."

**WHAT?-!-?-!**

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

***Edited late and quick! Forgive all errors please!*  
><strong>

My jaw _drops_.** Fiance?-!** Tell me he didn't just say that! Tell me I've passed out and hit my head and I'm fucking dreaming because Randy did not just fucking say that! He did not just call me his goddamn fiance!-!

"You're _fiance?_" Mr. Springfield repeats in a high, skeptical tone as his head jerked to the side in surprise.

"Yes, my **fiance**. You know what those are, don't you, Mr. Springfield? They're someone who's engaged to be married in the near future."

My jaw drops painfully lower. Married in the near future?-! Woah woah WOAH! Wait just a damn minute here! I'm not _marrying_ Randy! This is getting WAY out of hand! "Randy-"

"It's okay, Cody, we can tell him about us now." Randy assures me with a warm smile and he's so into the act it's scary. He puts his hand on my leg, squeezing tenderly. "We don't have to hide anymore."

Huh?-! _Hide_? Who's hiding?-! "Woah, wait-" He stops me with a squeeze of my thigh as I gasp and slap my hands over him on my leg. For fuck's _sake_! What the fuck is he DOING?-! _This_ is what he wants me to play along with?-! Us getting fucking MARRIED?-! Oh god! "It's _alright_, Cody, we'll be fine, Mr Springfield understands." Randy looks to the old man at his desk with a smile, "Sorry, he's a bit shy about all of this and he wasn't expecting me to say anything."

Oh GOD. I look down at his hand and realize mine is still on his and jerk it away, glaring at him but my heads spinning way to fast. He can't be serious about this! He's fucking insane! Yes that's it! He's gone mad from all the stress and he's NOT thinking clearly because there's NO way we can pull this kind of thing off! Because, we're not gay! That being the BIGGEST issue and the others are countless! I shake my head slowly, so stunned but I can _feel_ myself turning pale. I'll never be able to keep up such an _act_ and what exactly does Randy think is going to happen after we "get married"? We'd have to stay that way for a year for Randy to be granted permanent citizenship! A fucking YEAR!-! How could we possibly hide the truth for that long?-! Oh! OH! And what about Samantha!-?-? What's he going to do about her, huh?-! Huh?-!

"Mr. Orton, _no_." Mr. Springfield came forward over his desk with a heavy sigh, taking off his glasses and rubs tiredly at the bridge of his nose. "I don't have time for games."

"This _isn't_ a game." Randy snaps, hugging me so _tight_. "This is my **life**, Mr. Springfield. I wouldn't play around with you or this situation because frankly, Cody and I've had enough of all of this. Now, we didn't _want_ it to come to this because I _should_ be able to stay without having to put my whole life out in the open for everyone to see but we're out of time. And I'm sorry but we see no other choice but to come clean about our relationship." Randy looks at me again, smiling so confidently it's just down right scary. "We're getting married and**,** _**I can stay**_."

"Uh-huh, and, just how long have you two been engaged?"  
>"Since I moved in with him last year." Randy replied but I'm still too stunned and outraged to stop him. I'll play along, for now. Because I'm too stunned for words. But after we leave this shit-hole I'm going to <em>kill<em> him. And we'll be clearing up this whole us getting married thing because it's NOT happening. I am not marrying my best friend!

The old man behind the desk shakes his head, sighing as he drops his pen to the paper before him. "I don't buy this charade, Mr. Orton. Your _fiance_ looks like a deer caught in the head lights and he was silently hating my guts until you said you were getting married. _Now_ he looks like he's ready to _hit_ you." Fuck. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I jerk my head towards the old bastard behind his desk and force a smile but it mustn't look right because the disbelief on his ugly old face remains and I look to Randy. Fuck, see! I can't fucking do this!

"Oh he's just surprised that I told you is all." Randy smiles at me and he has no idea how right he is. He pulls me closer, hugging me tighter because I just can't seem to make myself talk. Like I literally can't say a fucking word because I don't even know where to start! "He was expecting me to wait until the next appointment so we'd have the chance to have everything finalized but I surprised him, isn't that right, babe?"

Babe?-! _Oh god. _"Right." I blink and hear myself finally say and am instantly glad that I did because Mr. Springfield sighs and leans away from his desk, opening a door. "Okay then, I'll file the paperwork. But of course, you know I will have to there to witness to make sure this isn't some ploy to buy you extra time in the United State so, when's the date?"

"December first." Randy answers and it just can't get any worse than this. Because, I'm getting married in three weeks. Yes. _Three!-! _I think I'm going to throw up. I put my hand to my cheek, holding my face as I struggle to make the room stop spinning. Randy squeezes tighter, his other hand sliding up my leg, "It's actually the five year anniversary of the first time Cody and I met..."

I frown, thinking back to that fun night in the bar when we met and my hand falls from my face as I gaze at him in pure awe. I can't believe he even remembered that. And what's more confusing and kind of creepy is, that IS the date we first met. It was December first and I remember that because had just finished a long day of running my horses for the last ttime before I put them to rest for the winter and went to this bar that burned down about two years ago for a night-cap. Well the bar was crowded and I stepped out to grab a smoke and ran into Randy who was cursing and kicking a the tire of his motorcycle that wouldn't start. It was great, we _really_ hit it off and after we got his bike to start we exchanged numbers and have been friends ever since. He was just, such a cool guy I thought at the time. And I don't know I guess we just got close as time went on and before we knew it we're best friends and he's sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms that's now labeled by a novelty plaque on the door as "The Danger Room"..._Ironic_.

"That's nice, Mr. Orton, I'll make a note on the calendar."  
>"We'll send you an invitation." Randy sounds so confident now, almost smug. "The dress is casual."<br>"Mm-hmm," Mr. Springfield hums skeptically. "I'll see you on the first, Mr. Orton. And you had better use this time to rethink any recent _desperate_ ideas you may have had because once I send off the forms you'll be held liable for your actions."

Was that a threat? I gulp. Shit. Okay Randy, games over, you can tell us you're kidding now!

Randy stands, pulling me up with him by my shoulders and just as quickly takes my hand. "Come on, _babe_, we're done here." We are?-!

We leave Mr Springfield's office and then the building, Randy pulling me along by my hand until we're outside and he put his arm around my shoulders as we walk towards my black pickup truck. I drove us here. And I'm debating on leaving his ass.

"Okay, before you freak out, just let me explain."  
>I shoot a quick glare at him before we separate and disappear around the truck to get inside. I yank the door open and climb in, waiting for him to close his door. I'll listen and I'll let him explain but he has about two minutes left and my patients is fucking GONE. "Be. <em>Quick.<em>" He had better start fucking explaining him self fucking NOW.  
>"It was the <strong>only<strong> way I'd be able to stay, Cody. I checked and if I hadn't done that I'd be packing my bags. You don't want that, do you?"  
>"...No."<br>"Well, then, do this with me and I won't have to. We can just pretend to be a couple until I get my citizenship."

I shake my head. Fuck he's making this sound so simple. Like we'll be just so damn convincing as a loving couple when we're flat out just NOT. "Pretend to be a couple? Dude, are you even _listening_ to yourself right now? You want us to get _married._ That's just fucking NUTS and not to mention, completely out of left field!"  
>"I know, I'm sorry, but it's the only way, Cody. And I'd do anything not to get sent back to Canada and that includes marrying another guy I've been living with and taking care of for the last five years."<br>I frown hard. "Five? You've only been living with me for _one._"  
>"Yeah, that's right, and I've been taking care of you since before I moved in. In fact I've sacrificed a lot to help you out when you needed it and now the <strong>one<strong> time I ask you to do something to help **me** you don't even think about it before you shoot it down."

"You_ didn't _ask!" I snap defensively to hide the hurt I feel over his last choice of words that I hope came out harsher than he intended because, fucking _ouch._

I start the truck, slamming it into gear and step on the gas way too hard. We fly out of the parking space and peel out of the small driveway towards the exit. This is so not fair...

"If I had asked, would you have said yes?"

I race onto the empty highway that leads us out of town to the outskirts towards home. "No." I reply truthfully. Not that I wouldn't have been just as horrified by the idea but I would have appreciated being asked! And not in front of Mr. Springfield where I had no choice but to play along or completely blow my best friend's last chance of staying here in the country! Fuck he;d lucky, I could have fucked everything up! "So you want me to go back to Canada?" Randy asks angrily, "You really want that?"

What?-! "No! Jesus, Randy! This isn't fair! You surprise me with this shit and you expect me to do what, jump at the idea?-! You could have at least warned me or fucking ASKED!-! Fuck, man, you haven't even given me a chance to fucking think about it! I just have to say yes and I have to say yes now! Give me a break!"  
>"What's there to think about, Cody? You <strong>want<strong> me to stay and it's _just_ a piece of paper that says we're marred, it doesn't mean we're gay or that we have to be a _real_ couple. And it's only for a year-"  
>"A year is a long time to lie!" I point out, "And it's not fair to ask me to do that-"<br>"No, let me tell YOU what's NOT fair!" Randy shouts as surprised me as he slams his fist down to the dash board hard. "What's not fair is how childish you're acting about this!" Randy is fuming and I can feel him glaring at me but I can't look away from the road. I don't want to. I couldn't stand to see the hurt or anger on his face. "I didn't think I HAD to ask! I've given up everything to help you for five _years_ and all I need from you is one fucking year, Cody. **One. **And you won't do it! THAT'S not fair!"

I flinch, he thinks he's been taking care of me for FIVE years? Fuck, man, I wish we were at home so I could run and hide in my room because this just fucking _sucks._ He's throwing everything he's done for me back in my fucking face! And what do I say to him? Do I argue that he's exaggerating on "five years" because I was fucking FINE until I got fucked over. I didn't need his fucking help before I lost my horses and if it's such a fucking problem to help me then I won't need it for much longer! I'll just sell my home and land to the developers that poisoned my horses and I'll let him go on his merry fucking way!

"You want me to stay, don't you?-!" Randy cuts through my thoughts and he may have asked it already but I'm just too pissed and I probably didn't hear him the first time.  
>"YES!-!" Fuck of course I want him to stay! But I don't want to go to jail! If we got caught we'd be so fucked like, <em>beyond<em> fucked because not only would we go to jail but Randy would be sent to jail and _then _deported and, how does that fucking help us?-! What's he's asking just isn't going to work and I'm sorry but I don't want to go to fucking prison. I like being a free man!

"Well then what's the fucking problem?-! I can stay if we get married so let's get married! It's not a big deal, Cody! You're just fucking making it one because you're too fucking selfish to realize that this isn't about _you!_"

"Calling me selfish isn't going to fucking help you!" I snap hard, gripping the steering wheel tight. I am NOT selfish. Not like he's saying that I am!

"Well then stop acting so selfish and I won't." Randy hisses, jerking his head towards the window, glaring at the desolate scenery of the long road towards home. "Fuck!"

"Look, it's just not a good idea, Randy. We'll get caught and not only will you get deported but they'll throw you in jail! And me too!"

Randy shook his head without taking his eyes from the world outside, he only glared harder and I can tell he's doing everything he can to control his temper because he's _shaking._ He only shakes like that when he's positively _livid. _And I know my friend enough to know what's coming next, he's going to blow.

"Just forget it, Cody. You obviously don't fucking care."  
>"I care!"<br>"No, you **don't**."

I almost punch the steering wheel with my fist that balls tight against it instead. How dare he say that! Of course I care he's my best friend for fucks sake! But this just isn't going to work! I mean, there's no way we could pull something like this off because we're NOT engaged and we're NOT a couple! How can we pretend to be something we're not and convince people that we are?-! "Damn it, this isn't fair! I DO care but this is just not a good idea, Randy! We'll get _caught!_"

"Yeah, because of _you_." Randy hisses cruelly, "Whatever. You've made up your mind so just forget it, Cody. Forget the whole fucking thing. I'll go back to Canada and you can go back to being miserable and alone." Ouch. I open my mouth to argue but nothing I want to say is going to help our situation or take back the mean thing's he's said so I think better of it and silently shake my head. He's too angry to fight with right now, I know him well enough to know that this will only get worse and he'll only get meaner if I try. Although, he's a lot calmer than I thought he was going to be. In fact I've never seen him go from shouting to silent so quickly...He surprises me right now...And he scares me. Because I think I've really fucked up here, somehow. I think I've fucked up royally and I have no idea how because he has no right to be angry with me for saying no but if he's quiet then like this then, it's _bad._ Like, he may never forgive me for this kind of bad... Fuck this **sucks**.

"I don't want you to go back to Canada-"  
>"Then marry me."<br>"No, come on! There has to be another way!"  
>"There's <strong>not. <strong>You heard , I was set for deportation at the end of the month because I'd exhausted all of my extensions."  
>"Maybe you should ask for a new case worker? I mean Mr. Springfield has it in for you, you could try someone else?-!"<br>"Another case worker?" Randy repeats, his voice dropping low, and deep with anger. "There's not enough time for that and really, Cody, don't you think I've already _tried_ to get another case worker? Don't you think I've tried everything else before even thinking about asking _you_ to marry me? Believe me this is NOT where I wanted this to go but I don't want to leave. This is home to me." He pauses, sighing softly as I see his head fall against the window. "Fuck, dude, it's not like I _want_ to marry you, I just need to so I don't have to leave the only home I've ever known. Why can't you just..._understand_ that and see passed the rest...?"  
>"I can.t"<br>"...Selfish."

_Fuck_. "I'm sorry..." I say because I should, glancing at him and my stomach tightens to see my apology hasn't changed anything. I bite back a sigh. Damn it, this isn't fair.

How can he be mad at me for saying no? He has to understand how risky it would be for us to do that and he has to know that with the run of back luck I've had I'm just...too cautious to even think about doing something like fooling the immigration office by marrying my bestfriend so he can get permanent citizenship. I can barely commit to a contract with the cable company much less to a plan that I already think is going to fail! I take a deep breath, relaxing my hands against the steering wheel and I hate it but, I almost want to cry. Not like sob or wail but a part of me is so crushed right now that yes, I want to cry. I'm loosing my bestfriend and the only way to save him is something that I just _can't_ do...Can I?

I frown. Wouldn't it be just, so _weird_ though?-? I mean, we'd have to _act_ like a _real_ couple and I wouldn't know the first thing about something like that. Mainly because I'm a virgin and I've only dated a handful of times between training sessions with my horses and before that I was too young and just never took an interest in dating. Or having a relationship. Not that I haven't kissed a few girls but none of them were intriguing enough to do anything more with...I guess. I don't know, my horses always seemed more important...And now they're gone and I'm a loner virgin living with my bestfriend who takes care of me and who's just asked me to marry him to keep him from getting deported from the country...

We're silent the rest of the way home.

I park and Randy jumps out before I can say anything, slamming the door and stomped off into the house. Great. Just fucking _great._ He must hate me so much right now. I groan as I fall forward and let my head smack against the steering wheel. Fuck this is such a mess. And damn it this is so unfair! It's asking a lot for me to marry him, isn't it? I mean...How weird is this? Two guys getting married and then we have to _stay_ married and play like a happy couple. Meaning the whole act from standing at the alter to kissing and hugging and-and _touching_.

I shiver at just the thought, clenching my eyes shut tight. I-I just don't know if I'm okay with that. I've never thought about another man like, you know, _that, _and it just seems so..._queer_. And no I don't mean queer as in gay but queer as in _weird._ Thinking about Randy like that is just **weird**. And not only that but what if we got caught? We could serve ten years or more and then Randy would end up being deported to Canada anyway so would putting us through such _weirdness_ really be worth it? I'd have to hug him, hang on him, touch him..._kiss him._..WEIRD.

I groan again, relieving a small amount of stress that's tightening every muscle in my body. God this is just so unfair. If my business hadn't failed Randy wouldn't have to marry me and he wouldn't have thrown everything he's done for me back in my face and he would have had to ask me to marry him. Which all this has hurt more than I let on. His words, although some of them true, were cruel and mean and if I had known he was going to throw everything back in my face later I would never have accepted his help in the first place. I never would have opened myself up for such a betrayal that honestly? Makes me feel like utter _shit_. Randy must really resent me to have said those things and that's probably why he's so angry that I said no. Because he's put up with me for five years and the one time he needs _me_ I bail on him. I said no so he did the one thing that would hurt me the most. He threw everything back in my face and, it worked. I feel like shit.

I know I fucked up but this so isn't fair. I don't want to be a twenty four year old virgin married to my bestfriend with no promises of a brighter future. Randy's going to get his citizenship and then be done with me, I just know it. And then when he's done he'll leave and I'll be back to square one. And I'll still be a virgin. Not that I expect Randy to help me with that but how in the hell am I supposed to get a girlfriend when I have to spend the next year pretending to be madly in love with my bestfriend? Randy has Sam, for now anyway. But at least he has her and knowing her she'll play along with all of this to help him because I'm pretty sure she's in love with him and he's quickly falling for her so when this is all said and done and Randy has his citizenship? I'll be all alone and miserable, just like Randy said I was.

I clench my teeth too hard in anger and it breaks me out of the self deprecating trap inside my head. God, listen to me, I _am_ being selfish. I only care about how I feel, don't I? In reality I should just go inside and tell Randy I'll do it because I _should _do it. Randy is my bestfriend and I should do this because he needs my help and it's really the least I can do to pay him back for everything he's done. Really. I should just fucking do it. Because I owe him. And because I'd miss him so damn much.

I slowly bring my head up and open my eyes with a heavy, regretful sigh. What in the hell was I thinking saying no? I can't let my bestfriend get deported when I could save him with a simple piece of paper that says we're married! It really is that simple! And Randy was right earlier when I failed to realize the simplicity of this because I was too worried about how this was going to affect _me, _when I _should _have been worried about Randy! And I _should_ have been jumping at the idea to marry him if it's the only way to save him!-! This is his home for fucks sake! How can I just let those asshole at the immigration office send him away?

That smug bastard Mr. Springfield would just fucking **love** to see Randy go and I can't let him have that satisfaction! I throw off my seat-belt and get out on my truck, swinging around the door and giving it a mighty push before running up the porch steps and letting the screen door slam shut behind me as I hurry inside to find him. My house is big with five rooms, a den, a living room and a dinning room but I have a good idea of where he is. The den. That's where he always goes when he's angry because it has a massive window that over looks the lake and he says he finds it peaceful there. I hope that's still true...

I cut through the living room and pass the stairs leading upstairs, turning on lights as I go because Randy left them off on his way. He always does.

I slow as I approach the doorway to the den, biting my lip as I force myself into the room and find Randy sitting by the window with a book he's been working on, the title of course has slipped my mind.

I come closer but he doesn't hear me come in. His chair is facing the window and away from the doorway but I can see his reflection, I can see his hurt even though he's furiously reading and hiding in the shadows of the giant oak tree looming over the window just outside the house.. My heart's racing but I keep going, walking up behind him and putting my hands on the back of his chair to let him know I'm here. "Hey..." I say but he doesn't move or acknowledge me. He just keeps reading...

I bite my lip, looking away and fighting to keep something from aching in my chest. He's never just, _ignored_ me like this before...I-I hope I'm not too late. "I'm sorry." I say again, the nerves in my stomach shake and I swallow hard to calm them. I can do this. _I can do this._ "I _don't_ want you to go back to Canada and I _do _care but you freaked me out and I completely blew it but...Can I ask you something?"

"_What_?" Randy grumbles bitterly without looking up.

"If I..." I start to say and lose my voice, swallowing hard to regain it. I'm so nervous, I hope he forgive me! "If I say yes," I push myself ask, keeping my voice soft because I know I'm on thin ice. "Will you _really_ get permanent citizenship?"

Randy sighs heavily, finally lowering his book to his lap and our eyes meet in the window. "_Yes_."  
>"Even if we get divorced?" That's what I'm worried about now. I know he said it would only be for a year but if there's a chance it could be longer then I think that I have a right to know. Because I'm going to say yes. Fuck I should have already said it!<p>

"Yes, even if we get divorced. But only after the one year mark, otherwise, _no._"

I clutch the back of the chair as I take a deep breath and hold it, I have to. "Okay." I say and let it out, slowly. This is so crazy and I'll probably freak out the _entire_ time but, I'll do it. If Randy gets his permanent citizenship then a year is nothing compared to the time we'll have if he gets to stay and the truth it when it boils down to it, Randy is my best friend and I love him. I should do it because he needs my help and he's always been there when I needed him. Always. That and, I owe him this. _I really do_.

"Really?" Randy jerks forward, twisting about in his chair to see me over it's tall wooden backing. His blue eyes are wide, bright, _hopeful._ "Okay?-?"

I nod as I start to come around his chair, meeting his gaze and swallowing hard as I struggle to keep my nerve. I have to do this for him. "_**Okay**_**." **I'll marry him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"What's going to happen to Samantha?" I ask after we've moved just about everything of Randy's into my room. We're just about finished and I'm only now wondering what his plan is about Samantha after dealing with Randy overload this morning. I should worry though. Because really he can't possibly hide our fictional engagement from her seeing as how he had officially moved into my room with me to look "more convincing". Or so Randy had put it earlier when he randomly started bringing armfuls of his clothing to my room and dumping them in a messy pile on my bed and me because I was still _sleeping_. **Dick.** He's lucky I love him or I'd have thrown his happy ass out the damn window. "She already knows and she's all for it." Randy informs me as he hangs the last of his shirts up in the closet and I'm horrified to see that he's mixed his clothes so badly in with mine that I can't tell who's is who's and I have to close the door. I'll fix it later when he's in town so I don't have to worry about him fussing at me over my shoulder. Sorry, but we can be a "couple" and not have our clothes looking a mess in the closet! I mean, come on! It's bad enough that he has to move in here and invade my space! He can at least do it with some _tact_.

"Oh okay." I respond about Samantha. It's great that Sam knows, I guess. I would have preferred it if he could have kept "us" to himself but he couldn't exactly hide it from her and last I checked he wasn't looking to break up with her so...I guess it's okay...If he can trust her...

"She's excited." He chuckles as we go about our separate tasks around my room. I grab a pile of socks from the bed and head to my dresser by a wide, heavily draped window. "I've already taken care of most of arrangements for the wedding but she's taken over the reception so I apologize in advance. She's already getting a bit carried away."  
>"I'd say." Fucking weirdo. I love Samantha but what the hell man?-! I don't want a fucking reception! "How many people is she inviting?"<br>"Not sure but a bunch of her college friends are in on it already and they're trying to find as many _supportive_ people as they can without giving us away. But if I had to make a guess? I'd say at least thirty so far."  
>Thirty?-! "Woah. I don't even know thirty people!"<br>"You do now." He smirks. "But we'll work on that next week and then when everyone shows up before the wedding for rehearsal."  
>"Oh..." Well damn. He has all this planned out already doesn't he?-!<p>

"So what side of the bed do you like to sleep on?"

Huh? I turn around from neatly folding his socks and placing them within the top dresser drawer next to mine and find Randy making my bed, and _two_ pillows where only mine should be at the top of the dark green sheets of my king size bed gracefully cradled within a homemade tall, wooden sleigh frame that I cut and pieced together myself. But I shake my head. Oh no, he is so not sleeping with me! "I'll take the middle and your happy ass can sleep on the floor." I say and point to the open floor end of the bed. "See? There's plenty of room for you and I have a sleeping bag-"  
>"No , stop it Cody, we have to make this look at real as possible." Randy stops me and reminds me for what must be the hundredth time that we have to do it all to look like a real couple. And I mean ALL we could do outside of sex because that old bastard Mr Springfield could make a surprise home inspection visit any day or time that he wanted! Pathetic old <em>bitch<em>.

"I'm sleeping in the bed so pick your side now or forever hold your piece." Randy insists and I have no choice but to accept this too. But still, I huff with a scowl, crossing my arms stubbornly at him as he grabs our pillows from the bed with both hands and holds them out, looking at me and waits for me to pick a side. I pick the left, closer to the door and I like to roll out of bed that way most mornings anyway. "You know, you said you were going to let me take this slow." I remind him of our conversation from the night before when he said he knew I was too nervous to just jump into anything and that he'd take things slow to let me adjust. My ass! He wakes me up by _moving_ into my room. That's NOT waiting! Not even a little! Hell it hadn't even been a whole day yet and he was already moving into my room and making me pick a side on MY god damn bed!-!

"I _am_ taking my time, you're just freaking out again."  
>"No shit! You <em>moved<em> into my _room_!" And he didn't even have the decency to WAKE me first!  
>Randy nods with a small laugh and I can see he's entirely proud of himself. "Yeah, and <em>now<em> we're going to work on being comfortable with it, aren't we?"  
>I glare at him but uncross my arms. I don't have time for this, I have trenches to re-dig for the sprinkler system that got fouled up during the flood. Damn flood...Damn Randy. "Whatever, I'm going outside to work, we finished in here?"<p>

Randy shook his head and I watch him hard as he walks towards me. "No, not quite." Damn it. I roll my eyes to look as irritated as I can. What _now_? "I really need to get to work, Randy." I stress but he doesn't stop coming towards me until he's directly in my face and he smiles, his big blue eyes bright with joy. I glare at him. He's getting such a kick out of watching me squirm about all of this. He thinks it's funny.

...Ha. _**HA**_.

I hold my glare on him but his arms shoot up from his sides, "Come here, Codes." He pulls me into a hug, his strong arms dragging us together until I grunt and he stops. "I just wanted to say thanks," He says softly and I would have been angry but, his thanks buys him some time...

"This means a lot to me, Cody, and I'm really grateful that you agreed to do this with me..."  
>"You're welcome..." I say although I'm almost frozen against him. What do I do?-! Do I put my arms around his waist or his shoulders ? Or, shit, do I do the whole wrapping them around his neck bit now that we're "engaged"?-? I jerk my arms up and down trying to figure out where to put them until I finally drop them and let my hands gently rest on the firm line of Randy's hips through his jeans. Is this right? Fuck I don't know.<p>

"We can do this, I just know it!" Randy beams, hugging me tighter and the weirdness is only on my end because he's touching me _everywhere_ and he just doesn't seem to care. Where as I can't help but notice that our stomachs are touching, our chests even! His is warm but mine is cold but still he doesn't care. He just hugs me and brings us closer and closer and _closer. _But I'm still stiff and I can't stop it. I don't know what to do now. Before I was just hugging my friend but now I'm hugging my _fiance. _It's just so weird!

"Well we _could_ do this but you're going to give us away." Randy chuckles but his arms tighten around me. "_Relax_, Cody, you can't act so uncomfortable...It's just a hug, we've done this before..."

Damn it. I nod because on one hand he's right. We've hugged _hundreds_ of times. But, on another hand, not like _this_. Not like a couple that's supposed to _mean_ them. "Sorry, it's not you." I admit softly because I don't want to shout against his shoulder, "I-I don't really know what to do. Am I supposed to like, put my face in your neck or something? I mean, that's what couples do, right? They hug and get all into it?"  
>"Well yes," He chuckles and I feel it rumble gently in his chest, "You could try that." Randy encourages but he's careful about it because he knows this is making me SO nervous. "Or you could just stop freaking out that I'm a guy and just pretend that I'm a girlfriend, that would make this a lot easier for you...I'm sure. Then maybe you might know what to do...?"<p>

Hmp. Not exactly. I wasn't so graceful with any of the women I've been with either. "Heh, well, it's been a while since I had a girl..." I feel myself start to blush. I'm such a loser. I haven't had a girlfriend in two years and the last one was just some cute little thing I met at the race track and went out to dinner with a few times. She was nice and all but, she was pretty aggressive and I'm not one to just jump into bed with someone. So that ended quick. Because basically I wanted to wait. She didn't. She bailed. Fine with me. "And anyway it's hard to hug you like you're a woman when you're not. It's not so easy to pretend your of the other sex when your bulging with muscle."

My eyes grow wide., my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Did I seriously just say that? _Bulging_ with muscle?

"I know but it's just a hug, Cody. " Randy whispers gently and it helps relax me enough that I instantly forget my own words as I press myself into his warm, solid chest. He's always had such a _calming_ effect on me. Even when I'm at my worst he can grab me and calm even my worst fears with a strong, solid hug. And I don't know how he has such an effect on me but I can't help but start to relax when he speaks to me in that calm, soft but, still deep voice that penetrates every emotion that clouds my brain. And only his can do it.

"It's ME..." Randy emphasizes but keeps his tone soft. "Weird or not you should still know how to give me a decent, _convincing_ hug...I mean we've hugged before._ Lots of times_."

"I'm sorry." I groan softly as I continue to struggle. Fuck I have no idea what to do and it's not just because he's a guy. I don't know how because I've never really hugged a _lover_ before because I've never had one and I have no idea how to make it look convincing. Randy probably doesn't know it but I've only had _girlfriends_ but they were high school sweethearts that I never got beyond second base with. Not that I hadn't tried once or twice but, no such luck. And after high school and that girl at the race track I kind of forgot about all of that relationship crap and set my mind on my business so I never really got the chance to experiment like most people around that age do. I just _wasn't_ interested and I literally spent all of my free time friends that never once judged me or, looked at me like I was some backwood freak like every one else around here does, besides Randy of course.

My horses. My beautiful, majestic champions that would have made me rich beyond my wildest dreams...

I relax a bit more, hugging Randy firmly now with my arms around his back and I lay my hands flat against the strong, well defined curves of his back. I really do miss my horses. Because they weren't just my income, they were my loving, beautiful pets that I'd raised and taken care of since they were but a few weeks old. They were my horses, my champions, and my loyal companions that I'm pretty sure were taken from me because I refused to sell my land. I don't have proof but, I _know_ it was those bastards that are pressuring me to sell so they can get their hands on the "prime real estate". Which is bullshit and frankly I don't give a shit what they want to do with my land. It's fucking mine! And they couldn't have it before they poisoned my horses and they sure as hell can't have it now. Over my dead body. They'll have to poison me too.

I manage to hug Randy a little tighter as I fight to stay relaxed with a sigh, pushing my thoughts to the back of my mind as I go to lower my face into Randy's neck but realize I'm already there and press my face in deeper. Is this what I'm supposed to do? I'm already hugging him _so_ tight, holding back a shiver as my forehead pushes against Randy's warm, soft neck. I put myself there without realizing it. But he hugs me and I hug him with my face against him because that's how lovers hug. I guess. I don't know, it feels okay. But I'm not panicking like I thought I was going to be...

Actually, this is kind of nice. Randy's arms are strong and they keep me against him and his warm chest is slowly taking the chill away from my skin and before I know it I'm snuggling us closer to fend off the cold.

Something in my gut starts to swell and tells me to panic but I don't. I don't want to think of anything right now. Because this feels _good_. I close my eyes. I don't know why I was so nervous...This doesn't have to be so weird...It's-It's _nice_.

"There you go, see?" Randy whispers and when I feel his hand come to rest on my lower back I don't even flinch. Go me. "You can do this, Cody." He adds and I can't stop the shiver that ripples down my spine and flares out across my lower back beneath his hand as he unknowing undoes all my hard work with just that once whisper. Fuck I'm _trembling_ I'm so nervous, and no one's even watching us! _Fuck! Get a grip Cody! It's just a hug! _"I'm sorry, I'm _trying_." I'm trying SO hard to make this work because for one and most importantly I don't want Randy to leave and two I don't want him to throw everything he's ever done for me back in my face again either. Because that sucked and hurt pretty bad the first time and I don't think I could handle hearing what he really thinks of me again. I mean I'll change my flaws, hopefully, but his is a pretty shitty view to have of someone. It's insulting too; he thinks he has to take care of me because I'm just so miserable and alone and if he doesn't take care of me, no one will. Not even me. Because for some reason he thinks that I'm incapable of helping myself. _**I'm not**_. I just have no control over the things other people do and that includes the men who poisoned my horses and ruined my training business trying to run me off my land. So I'm not incapable, I'm just prone to getting _fucked_. And excuse the hell out of me for having a tough time bouncing back from loosing fucking _everything_ in a devastating flood. Especially since the insurance company _barely_ covered the damage to the first story of my house and that meant the rest of the damage was to come out of my pocket. And a lot of it had but I'm broke because of it and I can only do it a bit at a time now. The stables have been rebuilt though, I managed to get that done this year so I guess I'm on my way. That is, if I can keep those fucking land developers away from here. Funny that they have all that money yet none of them have the sense to take some to buy a fucking clue.

"So you think you'll be able to do this in public?" Randy asks and I can't help but tense.

"_Maybe_. It's-It's getting easier." I reply softly, keeping my eyes closed because I think my head would spin if I opened them. It is a bit easier, I see. Because my mind is all over the place and not in a state of utter panic so this is progress I guess. Although it's still pretty...strange. "But this is still kind of weird, you know? I mean we're two guys having to pretend we're _together_ and that's just..._weird_ to me. Especially since I don't even know what to do with a girlfriend when I _do_ have one so this is complicated for me in that aspect too. I've never had a long term relationship so I don't even know how to act like I have or that I know what to do. I'm actually pretty lost here."  
>"I know but you're doing good, Cody." Randy assures me, hugging me tighter because he must know that I needed it. And I did and I enjoy it and relax. "Just relax a bit more and you'll be okay."<br>I sigh, "Working on it." But I'm still a little too nervous to do more than I am. One step at a time, okay? I just want to work on hugging him and get comfortable with that first, then we'll move onto the other things like hugging in _public_.

After a few nice, quiet moments Randy's hand suddenly moves, sliding up dip of my back all the way to my shoulders and smoothly follows the same trail back down and does it again, gently stroking me and I'll admit, it's pretty soothing. His hand is big and warm, his neck soft and smelling sweet of soap and his intoxicating aftershave that I've always liked. And fuck he's so _warm_. And I'm suddenly so very _cold_.

I bring myself against him as close as I possible can. This is pretty comfortable actually... Hell if he would rub just a little harder I'd be getting a nice little back massage too...

He does and I have to bite back a moan as I melt into his embrace. Hmmmm...

Is this what it's like to hug a lover? Warm, comforting..._Safe_?

Maybe I _have_ been missing something?

"Hey...You want to practice a kiss?"

My eyes fly open and I completely tense against him. _Gulp_. **What!** I shake my head against his neck and he chuckles and strokes my back a little quicker and now I know why. He's trying to comfort me, relax my nerves and make feel at ease so I'll loosen up and let him talk me into more. But the truth is I may never be at ease when we're like this because it's just so..._weird!_ It's weird! And damn it he needs to give me more time! Fuck we have three weeks until we're married! He can wait a few days to let me adjust at least!

"Aw come on it won't mean anything and you need to get used to us kissing because we're going to be doing it a lot when Mr. Springfield is around, or anyone else that needs to see it."

I frown. I know that! But we have three weeks before that has to happen don't we? I mean, there's no rush! Right?-! Why do I need to kiss him now?-! "I-I don't know, Randy. I'm having a tough time as it is and I don't know if I can work up to the kissing stuff today." I finish with a regretful sigh and I hope Randy understands my hesitation because he has to already know that I can't just jump into this. And yes I know, the kissing wouldn't mean that we're gay or anything but still, I'm way too nervous and anxious to do that right now. Hell just a few minutes ago I could barely keep myself from shaking just hugging him and I can only imagine how spastic I would be if he kissed me!

"No, not today. I'm sorry." Sorry, but I just don't want his tongue in my mouth and I can't believe I'm even thinking that. This is just so fucking WEIRD.

I feel him stiffen and his hand stops on my back. Great, he must be mad. Damn it! I lift my head and pull back, dropping my arms but just as quickly he catches them and yanks me towards his chest. Shit.

We collide, our chests bumping together hard but if I felt any pain it was forgotten as I watch my best friend's lips come for mine entirely too quick for me to dodge. He kisses me, his warm, soft lips mashing against mine too quickly for me to stop. I grunt hard, throwing my hands up but just as they reach Randy's arms he stops and pops his head back with a grin. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Oh my god!-! "What the f-" I'm cut off by his lips pressing to mine once more and this time I snap my hands around his wrists and manage to tear one of them from my face. Fucking HELL! I try pulling on his other wrist but he holds firm and his lips never leave mine. Asshole! I said I wasn't ready for this!

He pulls back again, grinning like a big fucking _idiot_. "Would you stop freaking out already? It's not like I'm slipping you the tongue!"  
>"Don't you dare!" I threaten him but I can see it in his eyes that he's not finished. He's going to kiss me again and this time I see it coming.<p>

I turn my head as he leans down, readying a triumphant smirk but his lips follow me, guiding mine to his like two magnets that meld together so quickly I almost gasp. How in the hell did he do that?-! It's like I have no control over my lips because he's taken it from me and he's making me kiss him! He's making my lips stay against his, our warm mouths heating up, growing hotter and hotter with each passing moment. What the fuck is he fucking _doing_?-!

I don't know where my hands are but both of his rise up and grasp my face and hauls me against him hard, our bodies bumping in so many _inappropriate_ places. Fuck! _Randy please don't make me do this! Not now! Not yet!-! I'm not ready! I'M NOT READY!_

I growl at him because I can't do much else and realize my eyes are closed and jerk them open. What the fuck?-! I find my hands and latch them around Randy's wrists once more. He doesn't budge. He kisses harder, smashing my lips until I have no choice but to part them to spare myself the pain of cutting them against my teeth. My lips part and so do his and something hot and wet suddenly swipes against my tongue. _Oh god._

_Okay, take deep breath. You can do this. YOU CAN DO THIS!-!_

What choice do have?-! Randy's fingers tighten around my face as his tongue dashes against mine, my knees shaking as mine instantly responds but I catch it at the last second and force it down. Oh god, I can't do this! I start to pull back but he comes with me and his tongue swirls around mine and drags it out of my control with the rest of my body he won't let go of. I feel myself start to sway, my entire body weakening with panic. Damn him! Why did he have to fucking push me like this?-! I latch onto his shoulders only so that I can dig my nails into them but still even when I dig hard he forces his tongue against mine and draws me into the kiss over and over. My knees give but I fall into his chest and he keeps us up, squeezing my face harder and forcing my head back as his tongue spears to the back of my throat and steals my breath. Fuck! Asshole! What's he doing to me?-! I can't move! I'm trying but why in the hell can't I make him stop?-! I claw at his back at his shoulders but he keeps going and I'm so out of breath I'm panting, breathing only when he gives me the chance which is not as often as I need. I just can't keep up! And I can't make him stop!

Randy's hands slide further, his long fingers curling around my skull and yanking my head back but something's off. There's a soft buzzing and a disturbing noise somewhere, something shrill and obnoxious like-like a phone? I hear it, barely, but it's there and I frown. Randy stops.

I gasp as he jerks up and his hands fall away from my face. Fucking _hell._

It's his phone, the noise, it's ringing in his jeans. He digs it out, flipping it open because he recognizes the ring tone and so do I. "Hey, babe, what's up?" It's Samantha, right on time. "Nah I'm not busy, just hanging out with Cody..." Right. I let go. More like I jerk away and furiously wipe at my mouth as reality comes crashing down around us and again Randy is completely oblivious to the weirdness. That and I know I no longer exist now that he's talking to Samantha and I'm right because he walks away just like he always does when she calls only this time he's left me completely breathless and utterly _stunned_.

I bite my tongue hard as I watch him go and turn around as he disappears through the doorway with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Fuck that was _intense_. And damn it how can he just walk away like that? I know it's Samantha but he could have missed her call just this once instead of leaving me here to possibly freak the fuck out! I don't know if I will because I think I'm in shock but he could have stuck around to make sure I was okay with all of this! I could be seriously fucking pissed right now seeing as how I told him no to begin with!

I bring my hand up and touch my lips because they're still wet and slightly swollen and swallow hard. Fuck I can still taste him...And feel him...Fuck. Asshole!

I drop my hand and take a step to leave for the ruined trenches and a full days work. Damn it. I should be pissed but, I'm not. I'm _irritated_. This is all happening so fast and even when I tell him no he does what he wants to me anyway and all I can do is accept it because I know he's trying to force me past the awkwardness as fast as he can so I'm ready when it counts. But damn it he _can't_ push me like that because it's not fucking helping. It's going to freak me out, I just know it! Especially if he's just going to force himself on me like that! I glare at the ground even though he's not around. Asshole. He's lucky he's a good kisser other wise I'd have had the mind to punch the hell out of him...

I somehow reach the doorway and freeze in my tracks. Good kisser...?-! Did I really just think that?-! Oh god that's not right is it?-! I reach out as I sway and take hold of the door frame for balance. What in the hell's the matter with me?-! First he's _bulging_ with muscle and now he's a _good kisser_?-! What the fuck?-!

My eyes grow wide as I take in a deep, slow breath and hold it. I must be in shock because I'm just not thinking right. I can still feel him kissing me; my lips are pulsing and even though he's long gone I can still feel his arms around me, hugging me tight but slowly slipping away...

I let the breath go in a shaky sigh and uncurl my fingers from the door frame. No. Uh-uh. I'm not freaking out about that. I can't. I'll pass out. Besides, I should really go outside and get to work. The trenches aren't going to re-dig themselves.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It's late afternoon and I'm _exhausted._ The sun isn't setting but will soon and today I've almost completed a long line of pvc pipping that begins at the back of the house and goes straight along side the house where it used to be and, where my roses used to be before the floods took them away. Don't worry though, I'll get them back soon if all goes according to plan. In fact there's just a few more trenches to deepen and I can lay the last of what I need to connect to the main system I've also just about finished._ I've been busy_. Can you blame me? I had to or I was going to lose my mind thinking about the wedding and trying to pull off everything in the small time frame Randy had so _thoughtfully_ given us. I'm so pissed about that. Even if it was our "anniversary" that he chose. Which, I believe he only chose that day because he knew the fact that he even remembered it would stun me long enough for him to dig us into such a deep whole I had no choice but to go along with it or risk watching Randy being hauled away in handcuffs. I had to play along or we were both in deep shit. So yeah, I don't really find too much of this relaxing to say the least. Especially ever since Randy started _kissing_ me a few days ago and I'm scared and worrying what he'll want next. So I've kept myself out of the house and as busy as I can. But of course, not nearly as busy as _Randy_. Who I'm avoiding at all costs because he's getting on my last nerve with all the wedding talk and I swear if he makes me kiss him in front of Samantha "just for fun" again I'm going to smack the spit out of his mouth.

I can't believe they laughed. It's was not funny. It was rude. Last night Randy grabbed me and kissed me because Samantha was over "having dinner" and wanted to see it. I guess it was supposed to be a joke or something but I didn't see the humor in it. Not that I don't have a sense of humor but, they were fucking _laughing_ at me. Why in the hell would I think that's funny? I'm uncomfortable damn it! How's that amusing?-! And excuse me for being a little weird about all of this-this kissing my best friend business! It's weird. Okay okay okay. Kissing Randy is nice and_ that's_ just fucking _weird._ The fact that he's so casual and I'm so nervous is weird and Samantha getting a kick out of it? Freaky! Yeah she's nice but, damn! What kind of girl gets a kick out of seeing her boyfriend make out with another man? And that's what Randy and I did too. We made out for like, a whole freaking minute and then the two of them fell to bits, laughing as I furiously swiped Randy's taste from my lips once again. Fuck he really irritates me. I love him. I do. But so help me God if that stupid jerk pushes me anymore I'm going to frickin'_ snap_.

Today's a good day though, so far. The ground is much softer and quite cooperative today, perfect for digging my trenches. So much better than yesterday when it was as dry as a bone and I had to use the damn hose so it took me longer to do half the work I needed to do. But not today. I have the rain to thank for that as well as the rumbling storm quickly swelling towards my land in the distance. Thankfully I thought ahead and laid out several tarps over the fresh trenches as I went, securing them with big rocks that would hold firm during the nights storm. Which I can tell is going to be loud and long because from my spot on the side of the house I can see that it's massive with huge billowing black clouds that's odd shape almost reminds me of a giant wave that's growing bigger and bigger by the minute with thunder rumbling humbly outwards from the horizon. Already I can smell the rain drenched earth as a strong, earthy aroma flares in with the wind that's kicked up quite a bit in the past hour. The skies are still bright with sunshine but the sun will quickly lose the battle and be lost behind the black clouds barreling towards my land as lightening fiercely begins to rip and tear violently across the sky. It's beautiful. Even I who have lost everything to a flood can still stop and admire such a beautiful, natural force of destruction.

Still though, I hope it doesn't flood again, otherwise I may never get this place back into shape. Or my life. It's been so hard since the floods came and tore my land and stables apart, creating chaos that's taken me ages to recover from because I'm too damn broke to fix it any faster. I work on it everyday but I'm only one man and I simply can't do it all, especially since the insurance company wouldn't cover the loss of my stable. (I was lucky they even cut a check for damages to my house.) So this is all out of pocket work at this point and it's not my pockets. It's Randy's...Because I totally _suck_.

I swear I'll pay him back some day. And marrying him for a year won't even begin to cover how much I owe him but I hope it's a decent start. I figure. After our year is up I don't know what his plans are but if he sticks around I'll pay him back when I get my business back up and running and things can go back to the way they were before everything went to shit. And of course before I lost my beautiful horses that would have won their races and their offspring would have been worth hundreds of _thousands_ of dollars and I wouldn't be so fucking broke right now. I'd be fucking _set_.

They chose Antifreeze. That's how I know they were poisoned and purposely taken from me. Randy said I was crazy but I tested their food and someone fed my true, beautiful companions antifreeze. My heart aches just to think about it. Those fucking _**monsters**_. They didn't have to hurt them to get to me, I would have sold my land in a second if I had known they would take it so far as to kill three innocent animals! I would have handed the keys over and gone some place safe but there's no chance for that now! I'm fucking stuck! And I know it sounds jaded but most days as I look out of the ruins of my life I wish that they had poisoned me instead.

I drop to my knees, smashing into the mud like I've done a hundred times today; I've got my hand shovel on the ground and ready to go beside me. It and me have been down in the dirt all day but, we're ready for more. I'm filthy, my jeans completely caked in mud down the front and long ago I'd ditched my shirt so I'm spattered with mud just about everywhere I'm sure. But fuck it. My work helps me forget and that's all I want to do right now. Forget and let go. Because fuck maybe then the nightmares will stop and I can find rest peaceful rather than fearful or, terrifyingly as it can be at times when I'm stressed and my night terror's are at their worst. It's sad, I know. My age should stop my dreams but it doesn't. So I'm a grown man who's terrified by his nightmares and I've given up on running from them because no matter what I do they own me completely. Pathetic? _Fuck_ whoever says so because they don't know shit about my nightmares. I see my horses, their dead faces forever burned into my brain the night I found them down in their stalls. Fuck I can still hear my own screams when I found them...My own blood curdling, harrowing screams that haunt me from time to time...

It's getting better though, with Randy's help. But sometimes I dream of my parents and the horrible day when I got the news that they were dead and I ran away and fell down a steep hill and broke my leg only, in my dreams when I fall it's either off a huge cliff that I'm being _pushed_ from and I plummet to my death, waking before I hit the ground or water or, jagged rocks below. I relive each moment over and over and anyone who says I'm pathetic is wrong because they know nothing of the _real_ pain and anguish I experience during them and they have no right to judge me even if they did. Because we all gave our fears, mine just come alive in my dreams. So I can wake up afraid all I want... Embarrassing as it might be. At least Randy's never laughed though. But, he _has_ come running to my rescue a few times during the night when I failed to wake up on my own and that was embarrassing enough. Imagine being woken up because you were screaming in your sleep and finding yourself deep in the arms of another man, and your best friend...

I chase my thoughts away and concentrate on my work. Not much time left before I have to grab the tarp and head inside...And no need to bring up old, painful memories...

"Good afternoon, Mr. Rhodes." _Shit_. Unfortunately I know that voice. "There's quite a storm coming this way isn't there?"

I sigh as I sit back on my heels, readying a glare because for one I hate this guy and two I'm well aware of the fucking storm rapidly building in the east, _threatening_ to undo all my work in a matter of seconds. I know it's there. He knows that I know it's there, why ask me about it? Dumbass. "What the hell do you want? I thought I told you asshole's not to come around here anymore?" Fuck that I know I told them to stop coming because I ALWAYS fucking tell them!-! And they never fucking listen! Especially Alberto. A tall, suave, dark haired, dark skinned with bright brown eyes _asshole_ who get's on my last god damn nerve because I'm so sick of seeing his stupid face. He's just an errand boy for the big boys at the office but still, I despise him just as much as I do the rest of the asshole's who are pressuring me to sell my families land.

"Easy, Mr. Rhodes, I'm just here to check up on you."

Excuse me?-! He's hear to _check up_ on me?-! I glare at him, noting he's definitely over dressed as usual. Fucking liar. He's here to pressure me about selling! "Yeah well let me make this _really_ easy for you, _Alberto_, I'm **not** interested." I'm so sick of this shit. I just want these fuckers to leave me the fuck alone! "You can tell your boss that once again I'm NOT looking to sell so he can take his offer a shove it, got that?" Fuck! That clear enough?-!

"He's increased the offer-"  
>"I don't care! I'm NOT selling!" I stab the shovel into the ground with a frustrated growl, "How many times do I have to say that before you assholes fucking get it?-! I don't want his money! I want my fucking land and I want you people to leave me the fuck alone!" Why can't they?-! There's plenty of other "prime real estate" they could try to get their hands on! And I've said no for two years and I'm not going to change my mind so why keep fucking with me? Why keep pressuring me over some fucking strip mall they want to build over my mass of open fields I used to ride in before THEY killed my fucking horse?-! God I fucking HATE these assholes!-!<p>

"Ah, you see, I can't do that, Mr. Rhodes." Alberto says and he's almost slow about it as he struggles through his thick accent. "The boss is certain that every man has his price and, he is determined to find yours. Tell me though, do you hate having money?"

I roll my eyes hard at his question. "You're such a dumbass, Alberto." Of course I don't hate money, I just want to get it by _working_ for it. And I mean _real_ work like I used to do and not the errand boy shit like Alberto does. Fuck him. He wouldn't understand or even begin to because he does nothing but harass people out of their house and homes to pad his pocket. And not to mention he's a complete and utter _dumbass_. How he manages to dress himself in those charcoal slacks, black silk shirt and jacket and those fancy black loafers, I'll never know.

"I just thought you might hate the money since you have turned down more money than you would have made in a year running your horses here. I just wanted a reason-"

"Get off my property, we're done here."  
>"Mr. Rhodes-"<p>

"It's CODY!" I snap. I've had enough and he needs to fucking LEAVE! "My name is CODY! Mr. Rhodes is my father and he's dead, you stubborn ass! Now get the fuck off my land or wish you had!"

Alberto frowns, his bright eyes darkening slightly. "Is that a threat?"

I smirk but my anger is not forgotten. This just got interesting. "No, but I'm sure you'd just _hate_ it if those fancy loafers of yours were ruined." I say and snatch the hand shovel free from the mud. Without taking my eyes off of Alberto's suspicious brown eyes I scoop a massive amount of mud onto the hand shovel and arch a brow. "Your call, Alberto, you want fancy mud-filled loafers? Or are you going to fuck off and leave me alone?" I'm serious. I'll dump the whole shovel of wet mud on his pretty black shoes and be happy to do it!

"Cody, there's no need for this, _really_." Alberto says and I start to tilt the slender handle in my hand, my smirk widening as mud slowly beginnings to slide downwards towards the expensive leather beneath it. God I'd love to fuck him up but this will have to do. Maybe next time when I'm not on my knees...

"Cody, please, just hear me out? You don't have to say yes to any deal, I just want you to know the facts!"

Oh really? "Facts? You want _facts_?-! I've got some for you!" I drop the shovel full of mud and lunge upwards onto my feet. He wants to talk _facts_ does he?-! "How about the fact that I've told both you and your boss that I don't want to sell probably about a hundred times and you dumb fuck's keep coming back with more money that I don't want! Or what about the fact that if I _do_ sell it would never be to the likes of you or your fucking boss!" I push my finger hard into his chest, "You're the scum of the earth and I'd rather sell my land for a nickel to a bigot red neck than to the likes of your sorry ass because what about the FACT that I KNOW that it was your company that poisoned my horses?-!" I give his chest another hard poke and I'm triumphant when he steps back and covers himself where I'd hurt him. "You can tell your boss that he should have poisoned _me_ instead because I will never EVER sell to that ugly son of a bitch! EVER!" And that's a promise! Those stupid bastards should have killed me because they can have my land over my dead body!

I take a deep breath, gritting my teeth and try to calm down. Shit. I should watch my mouth. Too late now! I flick my eyes about Alberto's startled face and can't help but wonder, would his company try to kill me too? Really? I look hard, searching Alberto's brown eyes for any sign of evil or horror like I find in the other men from his office but find nothing of the sort. He looks kind and too gentled to be so savage. I relax my jaw, shaking my head slowly. No, Alberto wouldn't kill me. But, would the others? _Really?-?_

Surely not...I'm sure...

I step back, glaring Alberto up and down and size him up anyway. I can take him. Granted I don't fight much or really know how but, I'm _strong_ and my reflexes are **fast**. So I can take the stiff rich guy down no problem..._I hope._

Alberto's face suddenly grows dark, and very serious. "Look! Just take this!" He demands as he reached into his jacket and pulls out a dark green folder he had hidden within and pushes it to my chest. "It's not an offer or a proposal, trust me. You _need_ to read-"  
>"I don't have to read <em>shit<em>." I stop him, "_You_ need to _leave_!" I take the folder but I'll throw it out just as soon as he leaves because I can only imagine the amount of bullshit within it. Not a proposal my ass. Trust him? Yeah right!

Alberto shakes his head and his eyes suddenly dart about as if he means to tell me something but won't or can't until he know's it's safe. Whatever, I don't care. I don't have time for this and he's wasted like, five minutes of my life I won't get back. Five. _Whole_. Minutes.

I take another step away but Alberto follows and I frown in disgust. "Are you fucking deaf?-!" I snarl, "LEAVE!"

"No, not until I know you'll read the file!"

"Fine I will if it will get you off my property!-!"

"It's _really_ pertinent that you do sooner than later!"

Oh for fucks sake! "I said I _will_!" Fuck, man! Fucking dumbass! Why won't he just fucking leave?-!

"Good." Alberto says as he suddenly looks around cautiously, "But tell no one where you got it, comprende? That would be bad for the _both_ of us."

My head jerks back in surprise."What do you mean 'bad for both of us'?" I glance down at the folder against my chest, "What's so-"  
>"Just read it, and tell no one where you got it from." Alberto steps back, his face serious as his eyes scan the horizon around us. What the fuck is he <em>looking<em> for something? Or someone?-? And why can't I tell anyone where I got the folder from? We both know it's just another offer for my land! So what's he acting so fucking weird for?-! "Alberto-"  
>"Just read the file, Cody, before you run out of time."<p>

What the fuck?-! Run out of time?-! I frown and open my mouth to demand and explanation but Alberto turns and start to leave. I go after him, clutching the folder to my chest, "Wait! What do you mean by run out of time? What's going on, Alberto?-!" He's normally so polite and almost sweet and I used to think it was just an act but seeing him act this way today just seems _wrong._ I can't trust him but something's definitely not right here!

"Just read it." He kept going so I move ahead and try to cut him off but just as smoothly Alberto side steps me entirely and passes. Damn it! "Wait! Hang on!" Why is he in such a hurry to leave when I don't want him to and yet when I _do_ want him to go he won't? Fuck! This guy's got it all backwards! "Alberto!" Dumbass!

"Read. It." Alberto emphasizes hard over his shoulder, very close to his massive black suburban parked in front of the house that was probably clean before it came here but now it's bottom is caked with mud. Serves him right! Fuck man he shouldn't even have come here to begin with!-!

But, he is here! And he;s up to something! Alberto's normally so tight-lipped and careful with his words and he is now but, at the same time he's trying to tell me something. But what? Maybe he knows something important that he just, can't share?-! But then, what's the in the folder and why give it to me?-! "You know something, don't you? About me?-! About my land?-!" He ignores me but I keep up as I yank the folder out and open, flashing over a bunch of legal jargon and what looks like a table of test results that I don't understand. It looks like a foreign language! I scowl and look up, finding Alberto a few good steps ahead of me and snap the folder shut.

I chase after him, catching up with my curiosity peaked and I can't help the ominous sinking feeling in my gut. What is this all about? What am I not seeing here?-!

Alberto reaches for the door to his suburban and I can't stop him from opening it, but I grab his arm, "Alberto wait! Answer me!"

Alberto jerks my hand from his arm quickly, glancing at me as he moves to climb into the drivers seat. "Goodbye, Cody." He gets in, plopping into the drivers seat and reaches for the door but I'm quick this time and I step in the way, pinning me between him and the door. "No! You wait just a damn minute!" I snarl, "You people have been fucking with me for years and the least you can do is be honest!" I throw the folder aside and grab his fancy jacket by it's edges along his chest and yank him towards me as if I would pick him out of the suburban and toss him over the top. Heh. I'm tempted. SOOOO tempted. "You're going to answer me god damn it!"  
>"I can't!" Alberto seems to lose his complete control as his face twists into a snarl of his own. "Just read the fucking file, Cody!"<br>"No, fuck that!" I shake my head angrily. "Tell me what's going on! What's this folder saying?-! What's with all the testing?-!"  
>"I can not say! Please, I must go! I risk too much being here as it is!"<br>"Risk what?-!" I refuse to let him leave without an answer! "Tell me!"  
>"Enough! Go! Read the file and be sure to share it with your fiance!"<p>

I freeze, my heart dropping to my stomach. What did he just say?-! My fiance?-! Oh god!-! How did he know that?-! I look away, smothering my shame shame as I take a breath, fighting to keep from shaking. This is fucking _freaky_. Because I-I never told anyone from his office that Randy and I were getting married..."How-how do you know about-about _that_?" What the fuck is Mr. Springfield spreading our business around? Is that what's in the folder?-?

I focus my glare on Alberto who still hasn't answered me. Of course he hasn't. "Fucking coward." I accuse and I must have hit a nerve because his face darken, his eyebrows dipping into a silent snarl. Oops.

Alberto covers my hands on my jacket but only for a split second before they shot up and took hold of my head, his strong fingers curling into my short hair but found a firm grip as he pulls me towards him. I can't stop him, he's too strong, his hold too hard! I stumbled against him, gasping as suddenly his lips touch mine. What the fuck?-! His hands pull harder as his tongue slips into my mouth. My heart stops. My eyes are so wide they hurt.

Alberto is fucking _KISSING_ me!-! His tongue is in my mouth, wrapping and swirling against mine and dipping towards the back of my throat almost as well as Randy's! WHAT THE FUCK?-!

Shock holds me, I can't even breathe! This just can't be happening!

Somehow I jerk back and thankfully he lets me go; I hit the door and stumble as it gives way and I spill away from the truck, too stunned to stop any of it. I can't believe it! I mean what the fuck he just fucking kissed me! He kissed me!-! I take a few more steps back, my eyes still wide as Alberto slams the door shut and brought the suburban to life, revving the engine quickly. I cover my mouth, touching my lips that tingle from his kiss...His _kiss_. Alberto just fucking _kissed_ me! I close my eyes and turn away, tearing my hand from my mouth and take a much needed deep breath. Should I be mad? Should I be outraged? I don't know, I'm just too fucking _stunned_.

I hear the crushing dirt and mud of Alberto peeling out of the soggy driveway but don't turn around to see him go. I don't want to. Because fuck that asshole! Who in the hell does he think he is kissing me like that?-! Fuck even if I was actually engaged to Randy that would be so wrong of him to do but the fact that I'm not doesn't make me any less outraged!-! Alberto kissed me! He fucking KISSED me!

Thunder booms over me and I feel the first cool drops of drain splash against my skin and jerk out of the shock seemingly had my feet glued to the ground. I furious wipe at my mouth as I turn to find the discarded file before it's ruined. I scoop it from the ground with a furious sweep of my arm. God damn it I'm so sick of the men in my life! From the asshole Mr. Springfield to the deaf, ignorant asshole at the land developers office I'm fucking SICK of men! Which is pretty fucked up seeing as how I am one! But fuck when you've got about half a dozen idiots breathing down your neck and kissing you everywhere you turn you get a little FED UP. To say the least!

I jerk as another drop of rain splashes against my shoulders and quickly pull the file closer to my chest, I decide to give it another peek. Time to see what Alberto was carrying on about...That and, I'd really like to forget that he kissed me. Seriously I don't need to dwell on how nice it was or how he might have surprised me or how a part of me wishes it had lasted just a little bit longer. I'm fighting it and I'd freak out but I seem to have forgotten how after a part of me wishes so hard that Alberto's kiss had been more like-like Randy's kiss; slow, hard, deep...passionate...And what that means? I'm pretending I don't know. I have to. Because I can't make sense of why the only part of me that doesn't like it when Randy kisses me. And that's the voice in my head telling me he's going to leave me anyway. It tells me the truth that even if I did like it, even if I want to have more and explore how good his kisses feel with Randy that it wouldn't do me any good. Because he's just going to leave in the end. He'll leave and never come back and forget all about me and my bullshit...Just like everyone else.

Okay Cody, think about something else. Think about the folder. Think about what's in and not who gave it to you!

I open it a little more, scanning over the first page that says something about my address and the urgency to move my dwelling...Wait. Move my dwelling? What the? I start to open it more but the rain is here, the down pour rushing towards me hard. Shit. I snap the file shut and clutch it tight to my chest. Fuck this. I wouldn't know what it said beyond that anyway! But I should! Because what I read can't be right, they can't be serious! Moving my dwelling?-! As in demolishing it?-!

I turn and run inside to find Randy, once again rushing to the den, "Randy!" I shout because I'm panicking and I can't seem to control the volume of my voice. "Randy!" I hope I'm wrong. I hope to God those bastards at the land developers office aren't trying to fuck up my house! "RANDY!-!"

"What?-!" Randy shouts from the den after a moment and I pick up the pace, taking long, quick strides with the folder clutched tightly in my hand. Maybe he will know what it says? Or at least some of it because I don't know anything about land surveys or how they could be used when trying to "move a dwelling"! And if Randy doesn't know that then he'll probably know where to look to find answers! I look down at the folder, swiping at some mud along the edges as I approach the den. "You gotta see this!" I shout to him as I round the doorway, and run smack dab into Randy. "Jesus, Codes!" I step on his feet as we collide and his chest knocked the folder from my hands, sending paper flying gracefully in every direction. Fuck!-!

Stunned I stumble back but somehow I find myself diving to the floor to gather the papers, rapidly scanning over the pages I don't understand as I scramble to bring them back together. "Sorry!" I say but I so don't care. Because shit! Everything's out of order and I don't even know what they say so I don't even know where to begin on fixing them! "Sorry!" I say again as I shake my head but don't stop scooping paper together, "I wasn't watching where I was going-"

"I'd say! You came running in here like your ass was on fire!" Randy says down to me but quickly bends to help me gather the remainder of the papers, frowning as he gave each one he collected a quick glance. "What is this? You had a land survey done?"  
>"No!" I claim but let out a confused, frustrated huff. Fuck. "I don't know! Alberto just came by and dropped this off but told me not to tell anyone where I got it from." I stand, stuffing the file as neatly as I can and hand it to him. I'm not going to tell him about the kiss, not yet. "It's a land survey?" I really have no clue. It just looks like a bunch of numbers and big words I don't understand because I've never seen such a thing.<p>

That and truthfully I can't think straight after Alberto's kiss. I know, I should be worried about the jeopardy of my home but I'm so confused right now. And it was-it was _okay_ but I'm pretty sure Randy would have a good laugh and I don't want to become pissed off with Randy when I'm trying to get the big lug to help me with this damn file. And also, I really don't want to be laughed at right now. Randy would laugh. And I would hit him. How is this helpful?

"I think so." Randy says as he holds the folder open against one hand while he flips through it with the other. "But you'd only have a land survey like this done if you were looking for something beneath the soil, not what you want to put above it..." He frowns but doesn't look up. "_Alberto_ gave you this?"  
>I nod, "Yeah, you just missed him. I tried to get him to explain but he got all weird and started looking around like someone's watching us and he even warned me to read the file before we "run out of time"."<br>"Run out of time?" Randy looks up in surprise, "What does that mean? Run out of time for what?"  
>"The hell if I know!" I shake my head rapidly. "He wouldn't say! He just kept telling me to read the file and wouldn't tell me anything about it!" Wait, that's not right. "Oh wait, he said it wasn't another offer and that...and that he wanted me to know the facts! Yeah! That's it! That's what he said!"<p>

"That's it?"  
>"Yeah, that's it."<br>"And...You came running in here because Alberto gave you a _file_?"  
>"Oh...Well, yeah." Not exactly. "That and, he knows we're engaged!"<br>Randy tilts his head with a confused frown as he looks up from the file, "So? What's the problem with that?"  
>Shit. "Nothing!" I say quickly because I really don't want to have a fight over how nervous all of this has made me. Not again. "But don't you think it's strange that he even <em>knows<em>?-?"  
>"Not really."<br>"Well I do! We haven't told anyone besides a few of our friends and Sam's and yet somehow they fucking know we're getting married? That doesn't seem strange to you at all?-!"

"**No**." Randy repeats but a little angrier this time, "They probably spoke to Mr. Springfield and you shouldn't be freaking out like this, Cody. I thought you said you were going to work on this?"

I scowl. What the fuck! Of course it's strange that Alberto knows we're getting married! Is Randy even listening to himself right now? WHY would Alberto's boss have spoken to Mr. Springfield to begin with?-! They had nothing to do with our lives and yet, they know?-! That's fucking strange to me! And let's not forget the kiss! Let's see how Randy feels about THAT! I cross my arms hard against my chest, "I _am_ working on it." I assure him, "But it's pretty fucking strange to me that they even _know_ about us and it's even more strange that not only did Alberto give me some weird file but also that he fucking _kissed_ me!"

Randy's eyes grow wide, his bright blue pupils darkening with something I don't recognize, "_What_?"

"You heard me." I nod once to confirm and arch a brow. "He kissed me. Still think this shit isn't weird?"

Randy's head jerked back but his eyes darken, the bright blue irises storming with a mixture of something he quickly hides. "Hold up. Let me read this." He suddenly snaps and glares hard at the pages in the folder, his hands tightening around it hard enough that the edges crinkle and bend beneath his fingers. I watch him read the pages, the veins in his neck slowly rising to the surface and pulsing, joining the throbbing monster protruding from his temple. What the hell? Is he mad? At me?-!

"They're watching us." Randy suddenly lowers the folder and snaps it shit, his eyes fixing on the window, glaring hard into the distance. The rain slowed, but there is surely more to come. "The rest of the papers I don't really understand but they ARE watching us. Maybe not right now but they have been."

My jaw drops. Fucking WHAT?-! That is so not what I expected to hear! "They're _spying_ on us?-!" What the fuck?-! "How do you know?-!"  
>"Because there's a time-line of things we did and places we went and they're all dated as if someone was taking notes, <em>daily<em> notes." He says, opening the file again as he turns away but it's not to be rude; he finds his chair by the window and carefully takes a seat, deeply engrossed in the pages that made absolutely no sense to me. I wish it had though because then I could have questioned Alberto about that too!...Not that it would have done me any good, I think. I mean he was too busy shoving his tongue down my throat to listen...Like someone else I know...

"I don't know what some of this stuff means but from the looks of it someone has done a dig test. That's where they send a drill down into the ground and collect sample of the soil for testing and I can't say what for but it was important enough for the land developers to perform it..." He trailed off but doesn't look up so I know he's not finished. "And as far as them watching us the papers are a bit out of order but I'd say that's something new..."  
>I join him by the window but gaze outwards over my land of rolling hills and tall grass that's in terrible need of a good mowing. It's relaxing but this time it so <em>doesn't<em> calm my worries. Because I can't help but feel like we're being _watched_. I mean if what Randy is saying is true then we very well could be! "How new?" I ask softly because I can't muster anything higher. "How long would you say they've been watching?"  
>"Like two, three weeks maybe." Shit.<p>

I lean forward towards the window and catch myself on the ledge because I can't breathe and I need something to hold onto. Because FUCK. They've been _watching_ us? Why? What good did it do them to fucking spy on us and better yet why did Alberto tell me about it?-! I shake my head and become dizzy. Shit I can't deal with this right now. The wedding is two weeks away and I've got way too much to be anxious about as it is! I don't need this shit looming over us! "Does it say _why_?"  
>"No, not that I've seen..."<p>

Great. Just fucking _great_.

"Alberto really kissed you?"  
>"Yes." I laugh nervously and feel myself blush. Why would he ask me that? I'm freaked out enough as it is!<br>"Like, on the cheek real quick-"  
>"No like on my lips and his tongue down my throat." I cut him off and get it out before he can ask about the rest. Might as well..."Like how <em>you<em> kiss me..."  
>"Oh..."<br>"Yeah..." Oh? Oh?-! That's it? That's all he has to say?-! I roll my eyes and bite my tongue. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like he and I are actually together and hey, at least he's not laughing...Yet.

"Let's give them something to watch."

"Huh?" I turn and find Randy standing behind me and so suddenly I gasp. When did he get up?-!  
>"I said, let's give them something to watch." He repeats, his eyes glued to my lips. "You know, a show, <em>babe<em>." Randy lowers his voice and I tense because I know where he's going with this. He wants us to kiss in front of the window.

No, uh-uh. Not right now. I shake my head but he's already on me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against his chest. "Let's give them something good to write about."  
>"Randy-"<br>"Shhhh." Randy quiets me, "Just turn around..."

Gulp. Okay so maybe I don't know where he's going with this. I'd have to be facing the other way for any kissing! And wait just damn minute here! How did we go from talking about a land survey to him kissing me anyway! There's no one here and if they're watching us surely they can't see us all the way up here! "What do you mean turn around?" I question first with a suspicious glare. "What for?"  
>"I already told you." He states as he looks down at me hard, smiling though and I can tell he's already amused to see me squirm. "Let's give them something to watch."<br>"Why? Don't we give them enough to watch when we're out in public and you stick your tongue down my throat?-!"  
>Randy laughs softly, squeezing me tight. "Hey it's got everyone fooled, doesn't it?"<br>"_YES._" Oh yeah everyone's fooled alright! We've got the whole damn town thinking we're actually getting married and now I get soooo many "told you's"! Asshole. He had better not rub this shit in!  
>"Okay so then, turn around, Codes. We'll give whoevers watching a good show-"<br>"Why?-! Who cares who's watching! Everyone already thinks we're gay!" And doesn't he care that there's someone WATCHING us? Doesn't he care that it might be a dangerous fact?-!  
>"Just do it." Randy urges and forcibly starts to turn me around with another laugh, "We'll keep it short and simple and worry about the rest after I take the file to a friend and see what's really going on, alright? Now, turn around."<br>"O...Kaaay." I agree hesitantly because I don't have a choice, turning towards the window and he instantly pressed his mouth to the side my neck and kisses me there. My eyes flutter and my stomach tightens anxiously. He's lucky there's a storm so I can't finish my work on the trenches today, otherwise I woudn't have time for this shit, nor the patients! But hey cut me some slack. I've been doing very well with all of this and over the past week I've kissed Randy in front of people like, ten times already! That's awesome right? I did it and didn't freak and each time it gets easier and easier! But, no tongue though (although that doesn't mean Randy didn't try) we mostly stuck to hanging on each other and I allow for quick, but convincing "tender" kisses that had Samantha giggling and fawning over us like a little girl who just got her first set of adorable puppies. God that girl is so crazy. Crazy in a good way but still, crazy. I mean she's gone overboard planning our reception and Randy's even let her take over a part of the wedding arrangements! In fact the last time I heard the flowers were being changed from tulips to blue roses and they just **had** to match the centerpieces.

...Centerpieces? Like I give a fuck or know what that means but blue roses are going overboard! I mean hell, normal red roses would be just fine but Samantha is _really_ getting into all of this and damn it, it's fucking creepy! I mean why in the hell is she so excited for me to marry her boyfriend? That's just weird, man! Weird and creepy!

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

Huh?-? "No, Sorry..." I keep doing that. Whenever he's touching me like this my mind goes away or in this case I'm thinking about Samantha because I can't seem to cope with Randy touching me like this. I wish I could and I wish I could make it seem easy like he does but I can't stay calm any other way. I have to distract myself or-or I'll like, totally spaz out and ruin everything. I think. I mean so far I've done alright but I think that's only because I force my mind else where and truthfully, I only do that because I don't want to face the reality of what we're doing when he touches me...Or how oddly good it feels sometimes...And how shameful I feel afterwards.

"I said, bend a little..." Randy whispers and I do. What in the hell is he doing now?

I start to look back but just as I turn my head Randy suddenly rams himself against my ass hard and sends me bouncing against the window ledge. What the fuck?-! That fucking hurt! I try to jerk around but Randy goes it again and this time there's no mistaking what I feel dig into my backside. It's _him_. His-His..._dick_. I feel myself pale. "What are you doing?-!" I gasp hard as he does it harder and follows it with another and another and another. Randy grunts, jerking faster and making me smack against the window. "Trying to make it look like we're fucking." He rasps and his tone is distant with fierce concentration. "If they want to watch us then we'll give them something to watch!"

Say what?-! "Randy, wait, this is kind of crazy." This is so NOT happening right now. "We don't need to _hump_ in front of the window to prove anything-"

"Now is not the time for your nerves, Cody!" Randy interjects and his tone is angry, demanding even. "Just do this with me!" What the fuck? Is he shouting at me?-! "But this isn't going to prove anything, Randy! And we don't know if they're even watching us right now!" Damn it this could be for nothing! I don't want to risk that! If he would just take a second to stop and think about the awkwardness! Or the shame! "They could be!" Randy growls in a tone I've never heard from him before, "And that's enough for me!-!" He slows but doesn't stop as I struggle with my nerves and already I can feel myself starting to falter under his glare. This isn't fair. What about what _I_ want?-!

"It's not enough for me!" I try to object but Randy's eyes are burning with such desperation and anger I can't really tell him no. "Fuck!" I curse him as I tear my head towards the window. I should tell him no and I want to but damn it I can't. Not if it means _that_ much to him...I-I guess. "You had better not tell Sam." I give in and warn him angrily and he agrees but the intensity doesn't leave his voice and I can't stop my stomach from quivering.  
>"I won't say a word.." Randy assures me, "This is just between us and <em>them<em>." That's nice. Too bad it doesn't make me feel any better!

I close my eyes and try to relax as he resumes humping my ass. It's crude but, that's what he's doing; humping my ass and ramming his junk up against me hard enough that I can feel it and damn it if he isn't hung like a fucking horse. And I'll be damned if he doesn't know what he's doing; grinding slow but hard, his thrusts sharp and precise and steady...Fuck!-!

Damn him. This isn't fair! I let my hands tighten around the ledge of the window as I shake my head, fighting several, angry snarls as Randy forces me to bend even further for him and spread my legs. I fight it but he jerks harder and I have no choice but to move, biting back a gasp as he increases his speed and nearly smashes me face first into the window. Jesus! "Easy!" I snarl over my shoulder and he laughs a quick 'sorry' and closes his eyes. I glare at him. What the fuck is he getting into this act too?-! Fuck, man! How in the hell does he fucking DO that?-! How can he pretend to be screwing me and make it look so god damn easy?-! "Asshole!" It's so not fair how much easier this is for him than it is for me! It really isn't!

I slap my hands against the window and push back but not too hard in fear that we might break it. "You can't be serious!" I say because I'm sorry but I just can't take this. I wiggle about to try and escape and I'm startled to hear myself sound so breathless. What the hell am I holding my breath?-?

Fuck of course I'm holding my breath, I can feel every inch of him! I feel him hit my ass so hard, pushing between my cheeks and touching me with his wide dick and in such a sensitive place my groin begins to stir...

"Fucking hell!" I curse him as my knees start to shake and I feel my stomach tightening with something that makes me gasp and my cock throb. Oh god, am I getting _turned on_ by this?-! Really?-! "Hurry the fuck up!" No, no that just can't be right!

"Come on, Cody!" Randy snarls as he tightens his hands on my hips and doesn't even give me a second to catch my fucking breath. "Just a little bit longer and we can fall to the floor and stop!"

"No!-!" I whine as I bring my arm up and place it against the window, bracing my forehead against it to keep from bumping the window. I can't do this. My legs can barely hold me. My heart is pounding. I can't breathe. And I'm fucking _HARD._

"Fuck, Cody!" Randy shouts but I can't respond, my groin burning with shameful desire so suddenly I almost fall. Randy holds me up, slamming me against the window but pulling me against his dick at the same time so he grinds his thick cock between my cheeks. I shudder hard, my eyes threatening to roll back into my head.

Fuck fuck fuck! I hiss and let out a moan, I can't help it. It shouldn't but this feels so fucking _good_. He's big and hard and even though he's not actually inside me I can almost _feel _him. I feel him pushing his way inside and filling me with every inch he's so savagely ramming against me. I feel him pushing inside and fucking me with everything he has even though I know, I have no idea how that truly feels and that _this_ pales in comparison...

Wait. What?-! What am I thinking?-! "Stop!" I push back on him but it's a mistake because it only makes my groin surge harder and he rams into my body more than before. And he doesn't stop. "Randy, enough!" I snarl but he must be fucking deaf because he doesn't and after a few more thrusts I know he doesn't plan to anytime soon. Because he's ignoring me now. He must be! "Randy!-!" My cries do nothing but fuel him and my tightening groin that's throbbing harder and harder, twitching painfully for attention I have to fight not to give it. I want to though. Fuck I want to reach into my dirty jeans and take myself into my hand and jack off till I explode! Oh fuck me!-! He has to stop! He has to stop NOW!-!-! "Randy! Please!" Oh god!-! Why is my body doing this to me?-! Why is HE doing this to me?-! Why can't he just fucking STOP?-!

His dick hits my hole through out jeans and my chest tightens, my body readying for release I'm desperately fighting. I'm going to lose. I'm begging him to stop but he won't and he's going to humiliate me. Again! "Please..." I beg. "Randy!" After a moment I bury my face into my arm, smearing hot, angry tears down my cheeks. I give up. He's too into it and-and it's too late!

With a few more thrusts my dick surges with ecstasy and before I can take a full breath I tense hard...And I erupt. My dick spurts and I shriek and thrash against my arm and the window, my legs giving way all together but still Randy holds me up yet again and I spill shamefully into my jeans...

He _stops_. "C-Cody?" He's breathless, "You okay?"

I want to die. It's too late for that now Randy! You've humiliated me once again only this time I may not be able to forgive you for this! I freeze, shaking uncontrollably against the window, gritting my teeth as I swallow various whimpers and moans as my body finishes it's climax.

I keep my face in my arm, panting hard as I hide in it as far as I can. Oh god have mercy look what he's fucking done to me!

"Cody?-?"

Fuck! I hate him!

I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM! I jerk my arm down, still breathless and lightheaded but don't lift my gaze. I can't. I couldn't bare to look at him right now. "Get away from me!-!"  
>"Shit... Codes...I'm sorry!." He's so breathless he can barely speak. "I-I didn't mean to-"<p>

"_Fuck you!_" I rage, my body burning with such SHAME. "You stupid _asshole_!" I lash out as I whirl around and shove him out of my way and dash passed him. God damn it I told him to stop! I begged him!

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Damn it, it's raining again. I can hear the heavy droplets pouring over the house and pelting the window behind me. The thunder probably woke me up.

And fuck me I don't want to get up today. I'm so sore. Our couch is merciless but in a pinch it was sufficient, at first. But as the night wore on my back started to ache and no matter which way I turned there was just no relief in sight. Especially since Cody's so fucking angry with me. But this time it's justified and I understand why he locked me out of our room last night. I mean, I viscous humped him to completion by the window and he's not happy with just how far I took it. H_e came._ I made him. And now he's furious. Why is he _so_ mad?...I don't know I don't think it's that big of a deal but I suppose he's embarrassed. But damn it so am I. Fuck I dry humped my best friend and I'll admit, I almost came but he did first and then he ran off for the rest of the night before we could even talk about it. (I slept on the couch and will again tonight if I don't get my ass up and _find_ Cody.) He's been avoiding me ever since. Well, we've been avoiding each other because I'm pretty upside down myself right now too but, I'm not going to stay away for long. We need to talk about last night and the wedding because we need to get the marriage license and now is really **not** a good time for us to be fighting. The wedding is just around the corner and although I've taken care of just about everything I still want to make sure that Cody's ready. And I mean _ready_. With no nerves or hesitations because he can't slip up even _once _or we're fucked. It has to be perfect or Mr. Springfield will contest our relationship and send my happy ass back to Canada and damn it I can't let that happen. I can't leave Cody or my home.

I some how turn onto my back, wincing sharply as I drag my head to rest against the protruding arm of the couch. What would I do without Cody and this old place? This house, man, if the walls could talk! The stories they would tell! Hell I've got plenty of stories I could tell; like when Cody and I repainted a few months back and his dog Dozer ran across some white paint and _ran_ throughout the entire house, leaving little dog prints until eventually it wore off and the game ended and we finally caught him in the den sitting on my chair...I still smile about that. Dozer was a good dog, we miss him. The house misses him and I swear this place just isn't the same without his goofy, happy-go-lucky fat ass running around, tap tap tap with his nails on the hardwood floors. Such a good boy...

The house has seen many dogs but held up nicely over the years, and with my much needed help. Cody's always more interested in the land and his stables (and his horses when he still had them). He always worked outside and I worked inside. Of course it takes money for that but I do quite a bit of under the table jobs and when you don't have to worry about paying taxes you can save quite a lot for the home improvements here and there. And we've done a lot since I moved in a year ago, so much that it's hard to say exactly where he started. But if I had a guess I'd say it was the kitchen that after it had been built still needed it's finishing touches like a garbage disposal and dishwasher and yes even a stove. The living room was easy, all it needed was the couch and TV which I'd had to fight Cody to let me mount it to the wall but thankfully he finally let us join the rest of the twentieth century and agreed so, I stuck that big son of a bitch on the wall. The couch though, fuck this thing is so uncomfortable. But it worked in a pinch when we needed it after the contractors finished repairing the water damage to the entire bottom floor of the house. The couch is a beast, over stuffed and so fucking _uncomfortable. _Ugly too. I'm getting rid of it as soon as I can. And the rest of the house we're still working on but so far we've got a real Victorian era theme going, even some antique light pictures mounted to the walls in the halls and in every room upstairs. We've got a long way to go but I'd love to fix this place up like we want it. Well, the way _Cody_ wants it, I just like doing that kind of work.

I may have only lived here for a year but I could never just walk away from something so beautiful. And Cody couldn't afford his house if I left and everything we've worked so hard for would be taken from him if I left. And now that I think about it there would be no starting over this time because without each other we'd be completely _fucked_. In fact we'd both be homeless, jobless, and if I know Cody like I think I do, completely hopeless too. Not that he wouldn't try but Cody has some of the worst luck I've ever seen and honestly I can't blame him for feeling helpless and hopeless when he's been hit blow after blow with forces and tragedies he can't control. And not that I think Cody would just give up but after everything that poor guy has been through, he might. That's why I _can't_ be deported. It's not a want issue. It's a _can't_ issue. I can't just leave Cody and our home. They would fall apart without me and I the same without them.

I know it might seem silly but truthfully I love being here taking care of Cody and helping him get his life back in order. Because the past five years and especially the last year have been the best years of my life and I couldn't have spent my time with a better person. And I'm not just thinking that because I know I'm in the dog house with him right now but because I actually mean it. Cody is my best friend and he's _always_ been there for me, even when he was down in his luck and losing everything around him his generous, warm heart never once faltered or gave up. (Except when I asked him to marry me, that freaked him out just a _tad_) Of course we don't really talk about stuff like that but if he ever asked me I'd tell him how great I think he is. Hell I wish he _would_ ask because Cody has always been a stand up guy in my book. Although I'm probably NOT such a stand up guy in his though, not after last night when I _humped_ him against the damn _window_ like a big dumb animal. Speaking of which...

I open my eyes and can't help the ache in my stomach as I groan and pull the blankets over my head in shame. Fucking HELL. WHAT was I thinking?-! Cody's about as skidish as a feral cat and I go and _hump_ him against the frickin window?-? Really?-! Fuck! I've made way better choices than that and I don't know what possessed me to do something like that but fucking hell I _did_. And the kicker is, I _enjoyed_ it. In fact I would have finished too if Cody hadn't of run off on me and yeah, I had to relieve myself afterwards because I was way too worked up to do _anything_ else. I liked it _that_ much. Why? Because I don't care if I liked it. I've been laying here for quite a while and I've had some time to think and frankly, I'm not hung up on that shit like I know Cody is because honestly I don't see why I would be freaked out by something that **I** feel when I clearly liked what I experienced. And Cody totally liked it too. That much is more than obvious! But what does it mean that we both sort of enjoyed what we did ?-? _Nothing_. Last time I checked…But maybe I should change or check my source? _Samantha_! My beautiful girlfriend who has been oddly accepting and _encouraging_ through all of this and came up with the idea to begin with! _She_ told me it wouldn't or _shouldn't_ be so strange for us to pretend we're so close when we're already such close friends and I figured she was right because Cody and I _are_ pretty close. Hell we're an old married couple, sans the sex! So what's the big deal, you know? Why not marry my best friend so I can stay? And so what if that means I have to kiss him and _hump_ him against a window! It's a small price to pay to be able to stay with the only family I've ever known! I pull the blanket down, squinting as my eyes adjust to what little light there is streaming in between the dark curtains of the window behind me and the couch and manage to check the time from the clock on the wall. 10:24. Great. I've over slept. How I managed that on the worlds most uncomfortable couch I don't know. I just know that my ass hurts and my neck is throbbing it's so stiff. But maybe I'll think about that next time I decide to do something stupid like hump my best friend against the damn window!

Gah, okay, time to get up. I've laid here and thought about all of this long enough, it's time to get up and face Cody. Who by the smell of the fresh morning air has already cooked breakfast. And knowing him he's probably already back in our room too. Which if he thinks he's safe in there he's sadly mistaken because I'll have no problem prying him out of it, even if I have to drag him. Last night I knew I had better leave him alone but he's had plenty of time to cool off so, I hope he's ready. I know I am.

I get up, groaning as my body aches and cries in pain as my stiff muscles struggle to let me move. I need coffee. I can't function without it and I certainly can't face the sticky situation with Cody without it either...Heh. No pun intended.

I yawn as I rub my face with a hand to chase off the sleep still trying to tug me back to the couch for more. Hell no. I'd sooner set it on fire!

The house is quiet as I make my way towards the kitchen, but it smells delicious. Bacon, eggs and I think some French toast if I'm not mistaken. Smells sweet enough...

I check the kitchen, it's empty but the dishwasher is running so, it hasn't been long. I must have just missed him. He was generous and left a plate on the counter for the though. And I was right, including the French toast. See why I love living here? Cody takes care of me too...

I grab a fresh cup of coffee and then my plate and head to the dinning room through a tall swinging door and breeze through it and instantly spot Cody sitting at the end of the long dark table, hidden behind a newspaper he'd picked up at the gas stop up the road, I'm assuming. I stop. Shit. I really thought he'd be back in his room already where I was going to corner him and force him into talking. Damn it. Change of plans. Looks like the dinning room will have to be where we do this. Fine with me. "Morning." I say and Cody instantly jumps behind the tall pages of the newspaper with a soft gasp. Shit. I startled him that easily? Easy, Randy, tread lightly. "You sleep ok?" I sit down in the chair beside him at the end and Cody shy's away in his chair, pulling the newspaper closer to hide him entirely. "Yeah I guess." He replies.  
>"Good." I say even though he's doing everything he can to disappear. Fuck this is awkward. And completely <em>my<em> fault. I scoot my chair towards the table, snatching my fork from my plate. He was so kind to still make me breakfast..."Thank you for making breakfast." I take a bite of bacon. Delicious. Maple and crispy, just the way I like.  
>"No problem." Cody mumbles softly. "It was nothing."<br>"It smells great." I compliment but he says nothing and I quickly changed the subject. "So are you working inside today because of the weather?" Gah. Stupid question. Hopefully he'll cut me some slack because I'm just trying to break the tension damn it. I want him to at least _look_ at me!  
>"Yeah," Cody answers. "Between the weather and the lack of supplies there's not much I can do."<br>"Supplies? You need supplies?" I perk up. "I-I could run into town if you need something?" I'm so helpful aren't I?-!  
>"Don't you have plans with Samantha?"<br>"Yeah but it's nothing." I shrug. "I can skip it."  
>"Don't do me any favors."<br>"It's no problem, Codes, just make me a list of materials you need and I'll run into town for you." He's being so stubborn but I won't give up, I never do.  
>"Fine." Cody shrugs behind the paper that rises and falls with his shoulders, "My list is in the den."<p>

I frown. The den? Where I got carried away? Why would his list be _there_? "Ok." I say even though I'm still starring at the gray pages of the newspaper dividing us and still wondering why he'd left his list in the den of all places. I thought he would be avoiding that room just as much as he's been avoid _me_. "I'll head out after breakfast..." Cody doesn't respond. Not good. He always thanks me when I do a supply run. _Always. _I curse myself under my breath as I drop my fork to the plate with a loud clatter and still he hides and says nothing. Shit. I sit back in my chair, biting back a heavy sigh. Damn it I really fucked up here didn't I? Cody's probably _beyond_ freaked out. BEYOND. And not to mention, incredibly _embarrassed_ too.

I pick up my fork and poke at my plate, taking a few bites as I stare regretfully in Cody's direction. If only he knew how _sorry_ I am for last night…if only he would let us _talk_ about it...

We will. Before I leave for town, maybe even now if I can get Cody to lower the damn paper so I can actually _see_ him. That would be helpful! If he stopped ignoring me and address me we could sort through this mess a whole lot faster but, apparently Cody just wants to hide from it. And from me. And probably from the whole damn world too because he probably thinks he's done something wrong and he _hasn't_. I'm the one who did wrong. "Cody?" I call but he doesn't respond. Damn it! "Cody!" I snatch the paper down, tearing it from his hands. "Are you _ignoring_ me?" Another stupid question. I'm on a roll.  
>"No," He glares and lies, "I was <em>reading<em>. Give it back."  
>"You're <em>mad<em>." I accuse because it's true.  
>"Gee, REALLY?-?" Cody scowls hard, too hard to be just upset over the newspaper. "Why on earth would I be mad after you took my newspaper away without <em>asking<em>?"  
>"That's <em>not<em> what I'm talking about."  
>"<em><strong>Oh<strong>_." Cody says as if he's totally unaware. But he's such a liar! He knows exactly what I'm talking about! He's trying to avoid last night and pretend it never happened and as much as I'd like to give him that to spare him his shame, _I can't_. He needs me to apologize at least! Don't I owe him that?-! It _was _MY fault and if we want to remain friends then we have to talk about it, as embarrassing as it may be! I toss the paper aside on the table with a heavy sigh that I'm too tired to fight. "Look, about last night, I'm sorry, alright? I got carried away-"  
>"I'll say."<br>"But what happened doesn't have to change anything, Codes. We don't need to feel weird or avoid each other."  
>"Says <em>you<em>." Cody mutters, his eyes glued to the table. Fuck he won't even _look_ at me. "_You're_ the one controlling everything, Randy, and I'm too nervous to even come out of my room when your like this."  
>I frown. "Like what?" I don't understand what he means, what's wrong with the way I'm acting? (besides last night.) Cody shrugs and his eyes still won't find me although I really wish that they would. "I don't know maybe like, how you can pretend that this stuff isn't happening when it <em>is<em>." He shakes his head, his eyes distant with thought but still stuck on the table. "That might work for you but you haven't even _asked_ me if it works for me…you just keep…_assuming_."

_Oh_. Fuck. I _have_ been assuming and now that I think about it that was pretty foolish. Although things should be easier for him by now, even after just a few days. Because damn we're just _acting_. Not like I planned on humping him against the window but so what if I did? It doesn't mean anything! It's not the same as if we were actually _together _so what's the big deal? And so what if he liked it? His body's probably so hard up for someone else's touch that he just couldn't help what his body did and I don't blame him or judge him for that not one bit. Hell I remember what is was like to be a virgin; to be so eager and sensitive but yet so afraid and hesitant because the moment is so much more awkward than other people might lead you to believe. But, it doesn't have to be that way between us. Cody doesn't have to run from me and we _can_ make this whole fake marriage thing work. I know we can. I just...need to think of a better way of easing Cody into all of this...

...Damn it. Why does he have to be so fucking _difficult_?

"So…is it working for you?" I ask and hope so. Because it's all we have and I'm not sure if I can think of anything else before the wedding where he has to kiss me _several_ times and if we want it to look convincing there's nothing else we can do but _practice_. Practice practice practice!  
>Cody shrugs again. "I guess. But you could be a little more tactful with me…or maybe <em>listen<em> when I say to stop."  
>"Ok, I can do that, what else?" Fair enough, I could make an effort to listen. But he needs to make an effort to stop looking so damn nervous when I'm around. Ever since I told Mr. Springfield that we were engaged Cody hasn't been the same and it would be nice if he would just, calm the fuck <em>down<em>. Because is it really that bad to pretend to be in love with your best friend? No. I know. Because I'm doing it and it's the easiest thing I've ever done!  
>"Nothing else." Cody answered <em>so<em> softly I almost didn't make out his response. "Just listen and be more tactful and you won't humiliate me anymore."

Fuck. Just splendid. I _have_ been humiliating him. Shit no wonder he can't pretend this isn't real. Because it _is_ real for Cody, especially his _shame_. Probably because he's a virgin and I can't imagine that he's finding it easy to be "tender" with another man any way but the fact that he's never really been tender with _anyone_ has to be eating at him now. Or at least fucking with his nerves. But, that's strange isn't it? His nerves should be fine by now and neither of us should have an issue with our fake engagement since we're not gay or anything, right? But, if that's true then I shouldn't have humped Cody against the window, right? But okay, I'll admit to myself that when he told me about Alberto my heart dropped into my stomach and I _panicked_. Because fuck I couldn't let that stand! _Especially_ if those fuckers are watching us! I had to show everyone that Cody was mine and perhaps I could have found a tactful way of doing so but I can't change what happened. I can't turn back time and take it back so why dwell on it? I said I was sorry and that should be all there is to it. Besides, it wasn't _that_ bad and we **both** got a little excited so Cody's not alone in being embarrassed by their actions last night. _I'm_ the one who forced my best friend against a window and _humped_ him so that it would look like we were fucking. That _was_ MY idea...But hey, it probably worked! If anyone was watching then they got an eyeful and if not then, well, I didn't really mind it all that much! Cody has a nice ass if you ask me! Round, firm, curved and grope-able like Sam's but dare I think it, _better_.

I nod finally, "Fair enough. I'll try to be a bit more careful…"  
>"And considerate."<br>"That too."  
>"Good…can I have the paper back now?"<br>My heart sinks to my stomach. This is not how I wanted this to go. He's being so-so _distant_ with me. Maybe I should just, hold off for a little while and let him cool a bit more? "I'll run into town in a bit."  
>"You don't need to, I'm okay for now and you don't need to run out into this weather."<br>"Supposed to be nasty, eh?"  
>"Yeah, before you took the paper away I was reading that there's major thunder storms throughout the week." He informs as he stands and reaches to the edge of the table for the paper.<br>"Damn. Well, I hope it stops storming before the wedding. I'd hate to have to move the ceremony inside." Cody arches a brow and although he still won't look at me I'm grateful for the response. "Really? You _had_ to bring up the wedding right now?"  
>I fight a smile but lose and it breaks free. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just as anxious and nervous as you are but I'm sure I don't come off that way-"<br>"Nope. Not at all."  
>I chuckle, I can't help it. "Sam said that too." Only she got a kick out of it. "Sorry, Codes, I'm not intending to freak you out but I'm just so ecstatic that I get to stay and if kissing you and lovin' up on you is something I have to do to stay here with you then pucker up baby. Cause I don't care what it takes." I laugh a little and I hope he'll relax and crack a smile but Cody nervously purses his lips, leaning back in his chair as far as he can. Damn it. Why can't I say the right thing to make this easier for him? I'm trying but I think I'm just making things worse! "Damn, am I helping you with this at all?"<p>

Cody shrugs, "I guess…But you know, this isn't easy and nothing you say will suddenly change that so I don't really know what you're expecting of me right now. If you're thinking the right words will fix everything they probably won't. And frankly I don't have them and I didn't expect you would either."

"So... You're okay with all of this?"  
>"Okay as I can be." He answers and shrugs, "I'm not as excited as you are but I'm happy that you'll get to stay and I'll do what I can to help…within reason though."<br>Damn. "This is really bothering you isn't it?" I squint as I watch Cody start to squirm. Fuck, can Cody really go through with all of this? Or is he letting his damn nerves get the best of him?  
>"Isn't it bothering <em>you<em>. Randy? We've practically made out and last night you _humped_ me against a window…that doesn't bother _you_?"

"NO." I say and maybe too quickly because Cody's eyes widen and I can't help but notice the flush rising into his cheeks. But I won't lie. Nothing about what we've done is bothering me. In fact I'm only thinking of _other_ things we can do to seem more convincing! Which I'm sure Cody would just be _thrilled_ to know! "It's not a big deal to me, Codes. I don't mind kissing you, and I don't have a problem with what we did last night. But I know that _you_ do and I'll be more tactful, I promise." I have to or I'll scare Cody off for good, I can tell just by looking at him that he wants to call it quits already and anymore pressure from me just might send him over edge. I have to be careful like, extremely careful and adding some tact is just the beginning.

"Also," Cody began softly, "No more laughing from you or Sam. I know I'm being overly sensitive but I just don't see why my discomfort is so amusing. It's great that this is easy for the two of you but not all of us can just kiss their best friend and be okay with it. Especially since you're a guy."  
>I nod slowly, "You're right, we won't laugh. It's hard for you and we'll be more considerate." It's hard for me too but Cody's <em>different<em>. He can't just, pretend things are real or genuine when they're just _not_. I know that now. And I think I've finally figured out why. "Especially since you're a virgin. This has to be messing with your head." Cody's never really been kissed or _touched_ before and I think that he's entirely mixed up because MY touch set him off. MY touch made him feel good.  
>"What the fuck?" He inhales sharply. "That has <em>nothing<em> to do with it!" He snaps and his eyes close as he shakes his head, slumping with his hands in his lap as if suddenly giving up. "Trust me, my head's messed up but _not_ because I'm a virgin! That ain't got shit to do with it!"

Fuck, Randy! Way to go bringing up the fact that he's a virgin because even if what I think is true Cody's not about to admit it! "Anything I can help with?" I say to try and recover because I'm such an IDIOT. "No." Cody's eyes fly open and let out a sigh as he slaps his hands to the table and pushes himself up. "No, it's nothing. You probably wouldn't understand anyway."  
>I wouldn't? "Why not?"<br>"Because you _have_ a girlfriend to talk you through all of this and I _don't_. _You_ have someone to reassure you and I have _you_ who laughs at my discomfort, shame, and assumes that this is only weird for me because I'm a fucking _virgin_. So no, I don't have _anyone_ to lean on for this and no, you wouldn't understand."  
>"Hang on, you do have someone," I stand and snag his elbow from across the table in an attempt to show him what I mean, stopping him and he turns just slightly. "I'm sorry for laughing at you, I swear it will never happen again, alright? Now moving forward you DO have me to help you with all of this. I've always been here to help, Codes, but you keep hiding from me and I'll chase you if that's what it takes...You know that." Cody nods as he glances down at my hand on his arm before pulling away. "Yeah I know. " He slips away towards the hallway. "<em>That's<em> what I'm afraid of."

I blink hard, my head suddenly spinning. _Afraid_? Fuck. I've really messed up if Cody feels so afraid of my actions and worse if he truly feels that he's so _alone_. But, what can I do to fix that? We have to act a certain way if we want to pull this off and granted I could slow things down for him but damn it we're running out of time. If Cody isn't ready and we blow this them we _fucked_ and there's no second chances. Once I'm gone, I'm gone. The country won't allow me back for a whole year and they could deny me even if I waited. Which if I _was_ deported for fraud they wouldn't let me back in at ALL. I'd be stuck and Cody? Chances are high that he'd lost his home before the next years end without my help. We can't let that happen. We have to do everything we can to make us look convincing and I'll tone it down a bit but, not much more than that. We just don't have the time.

I chase after him, checking the den first but find it empty and rush down the long dark hallway towards the living room. He's there, on the couch with the blankets I used last night wrapped around him and he's resting his back comfortably against the arm, gazing out the curtains he must have just tied open. I can't leave things like this. Cody still hasn't forgiven me, I can tell! "I'm _sorry_." I start as I come towards him on the touch but very, _very_ slowly. "I don't mean to make light of what happened last night and if you're angry about it then just say so because I'll apologize a million times if that's what it takes."

Cody's head jerked towards me at an alarming speed. "Why didn't you stop? I-I _begged_ you but-but you didn't even _listen_."  
>"I know, I'm sorry, I got carried away and I just, didn't hear you." What a lame ass excuse. Come on, Randy, Cody deserves better than that! "I was just so worked up about that damn folder and the possibility of them <em>watching<em> us and then you told me Alberto kissed you and I just-I just _had_ to prove that you were mine." I explain, watching his face to gauge his reaction. "But I'm _sorry_, Codes. I-I just wanted to prove a point. But I never wanted to embarrass you or-or _scare_ you. Believe me that was the last thing I wanted-"  
>"What <em>do<em> you want, Randy?" He stops me but doesn't even give me the slightest of glances from his distant gaze out the window.

Shit. I let my eyes join Cody's out the window, squinting to see through the rain covering the tall pane of glass. Very relaxing. And oddly soothing. The fields are bright with life and various shades of green that seem to glow in contrast to the dark, dangerous clouds over head. The ground is wet, soaked even, but still so full of life and promise as tall weeds and various flowers push through the elements and reach proudly towards the sky. So beautiful, and serene...But back to reality...What do _I_ want? "I want to stay." I say first and firmly as I jerk my eyes back to Cody on the couch, "**Here.** With _you_." Isn't that obvious? And, is it too much to ask? I just want to stay here and live with someone I love and trust and isn't that what everyone else wants too? To be free and love and cherish on his own accord? Am I not entitled to such freedoms as any other free man?-!

"That's all?" Cody asks but he's facing away and I can barely hear him. Is he _whispering_?  
>"Well, I want other things too but overall that's what I want most." I say and begin to approach him again, going so slowly so I don't startle him. "I mean I couldn't stand to leave here...or <em>you<em>." Seriously this is my home and the only place I've ever felt safe and _wanted_. And Cody's more than a friend, he's family. I love him and I'd do anything to help him or keep him _safe_. See this isn't just about me and my wants, this is also about Cody and his wants and how I'll do anything I can to make sure he doesn't need or want for anything. Because I'm a good friend and, I love him.

"Ok..." Cody nods, tucking himself further into the corner of the couch and holds firm on hiding his gaze from me out the window. Damn it. I'm not helping, I'm making it worse and I don't know how! I mean, what does he want from me?-! I said I was sorry and made my intentions clear! What else can I do?-! What else can I say?-! I reach for him but he jerks away, seeming startled that I'm trying to touch him. Fuck. "Cody...?"  
>"Don't. S'ok." He shy's away and I'm completely lost. I just don't understand! Why is he acting this way?-! He knows that I'm sorry and yet he still can't even look at me! I grab his shoulder and he pulls it free just as quickly, "Randy, <em>please<em>." He pleads and it damn near break my heart. "Just leave me alone right now...I-I need some time."  
>Time? "For what? Come on, Codes, I said that I was <em>sorry<em>...Please don't hide from me all day."

Cody eyes return to the gazing out the window and I know I've lost the battle. For now. But I'll be back later after I run into town for his supplies but when I return, I'll drag his ass out of this room if I have to. He's not going to hide from me. I won't allow it. Not this time. "Alright, have it your way." I tell him as I step away. "But this isn't over, Codes, we'll work it out. We always do." We've had fights before and we've always managed to work it out but, is this too _fucked_ for that? I mean, was what I did really _that_ bad to him that he's going to hide from me until I have no choice but to leave?-?

Fuck at this rate I really don't know unless I commit to dragging his ass out of the living room and forcing him to talk this out with me. Which is what I'll do I just wish it didn't have to come to that.

"I'm heading into town, where's your list? Still in the den?"  
>"No I grabbed it. It's on the table by the doorway." He replies without looking up and frankly I'm shocked that he did.<br>But I spot the list where he said it would be and pick it up, scanning it quickly. Not too long, not too expensive, Cody's got a real knack for breaking this stuff up for me so we can afford it. "This everything?"  
>"Yes..."<br>"Alright I'll be back after a while, you want me to pick up some lunch?" I know, I'm pushing it. But I can't stand to leave when so he's angry with me. I hurt him, humiliated him and I can't stand that he's hiding like this, especially from me.  
>"No thanks, I'm not hungry..." Great. So he's probably not eating either. I bite back a sigh, stuffing my hands into my pockets and can't think of anything to say so I leave, giving Cody one more sorrowful glance as I turn towards the doorway.<p>

The weather is shit but I had better get out of here or I won't leave him alone and that's what he needs right now. He needs me to leave him alone and I need...?

I grab my keys from the hook by the back door, pulling my jacket on and yanking the hood over my head before opening the door. I need to get the fuck out of here. I have to drop that damn folder off at my friends office today anyway...

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I'm so humiliated. I just want to crawl into a dark hole and never come out so I'd never have to face this shit again. Or Randy and his "I got carried away" bullshit that fucked everything up. Well, maybe not for him but shits certainly turned upside down for _me_ because_ I'm _the one who can't contain himself._ I'm _the one who's all over the fucking place and confused as hell. Not Randy. Although I'm pretty pissed off at him and I know he hates that so at least I can torture _him_ for a change. Which he so deserves after what he did to me last night. Stupid asshole.

I bring my knees in tighter, huddling into the corner of the couch as far as I can manage. Damn him. Why couldn't Randy just_ listen _for a fucking_ second _and spare us this awkward mess?-! If he'd just_ stopped _my body wouldn't have betrayed me and I wouldn't look like a god damn fool right now. But Noooo. He's just so hell bent on making us look convincing that he doesn't give a damn about what I want. And truthfully? I don't know what I really want anymore. Because the past few days of kissing and touching and _humping_ has my head so screwed up I can't even think. All I can do is relive each touch. Each kiss. And of course, last night when he made me cum and humiliate myself _beyond _the point of no return. _Asshole_. I should have fucking decked him, or at least kicked him in the groin since he was just so fucking eager to use it! Randy, the intolerable brute, didn't even give me a choice! **HE** did what HE wanted and he didn't give a damn about what I thought about it or how horrible it might make me feel. And why do I feel horrible? _Why_ is all of this so fucking hard and awkward? Because deep down, (and I mean _really_ deep down) I-I fucking _liked_ it. A LOT.

I mean, that's why I came like that isn't it? I liked it and so did my body too so..._Yeah_. I messed my damn jeans right in front of him and then tore ass out of the room because I was _so_ worried he was going to be angry or flip out on me or something. He didn't though. And I'm glad to know that he's sorry for bringing me to that point because he _should_ be sorry but, I'm not really angry with him anymore. In fact it's quite the opposite because now I know how I really feel and now that I do, I'm _terrified_ of him. I'm terrified that he'll be angry. I'm terrified that he'll be disgusted.

And I'm terrified that he'll _hate_ me.

I shiver hard despite the blankets and tuck my head down into my arms because I need to and, I'm tired. I didn't sleep much last night. But, I suppose I could be a little lighter on Randy when he gets home and let him off the hook a bit... But, the question I have now is; how do I let him keep doing things to me if he's, you know, _doing_ things to me? Do I tell him _that's_ why I've been so reluctant in all of this? Do I admit that my nerves and anxiety about our fake marriage is actually stemming from a deep seeded love I have for him? I don't know. I'm so afraid of what he'll say. What if he's disgusted? What if he's so freaked out that he like, hits me and leaves, never to be seen by my eyes again? Fuck man I just can't risk that. And it's not like I can make these feelings go away, I tried that for a LONG while last night. I failed. In fact I failed so badly I let my curiosity get the best of me and spent a couple of hours online looking at things I wanted to do and, so many things I want to try.

I'd never seen two men together (obviously) but last night I saw it. Out of sheer curiosity I went looking for more because I wanted to "test" myself, you know, to see if I was into it. And at first I was pretty timid about it, hesitant to click on the links or various crude pictures flashing across the screen. That is, until I saw something that caught my eye as interesting and I clicked on a link that took me to depths of the world and myself that I've never known. Depths of me where there's NO denying what I want or how I truly feel. I was so cared at first but, last night I **wanted** those big guys to pin _me_ down and pound my ass until I begged them to stop. I want those men to grab me and consume with their lust and passion! Fuck I wanted it so bad I was closing my eyes, touching myself, bringing myself over again and again and liking it more and more.

I'm so fucked up. I was just _curious_ for fucks sake and the next thing I know I'm practically humping the computer screen just trying to get at some of the action. Humiliating. But also enlightening. I'm as gay as those men on the web getting their kicks fucking each other like wild beasts. I want that. All of it. And I can't believe it's taken me so fucking long to realize that.

It's weird to me though, because now that I know? I feel like I've _always_ known but the realization was just, out of reach. Because I ignored it. Not on purpose but out of conditioning to be a "normal" man. Normal as in married, two kids and the white picket fence scene because that's what my parents had done, and what my parents had hoped I would do as well. I supposed I was blinded out of fear as well. I mean it's not easy being gay in such a small town where everyone knows you and your business and not only that but the small town mentality is like nothing else. It's like people forget that there's a whole world outside of their little town. They never evolve or improve like the rest of the world does, not even their out-dated mindset of the 1950's that being gay is wrong and anyone who "chooses" to be will go straight to hell. But little do they know, this IS hell. This small town bullshit is hell all on it's own and the townspeople? The devil's pawns. Trust slim to no one in a small town. Period.

Which of course means I'm pretty much fucking doomed living here. I'm gay and there's just no room for a guy like me in this town. And beyond that, what about Randy? What will he think when I tell him? And hell WHEN do I tell him? Before the wedding? After? Ever?-!

I lift my head, groaning as the position I'm sitting in starts to make me hurt. I should get up and go to the den, I really want to sit in Randy's chair...I know I'll be able to think there...

I get up, taking the blankets he'd used last night with me and shuffle my way to the den, plopping into his big chair. I sigh as I'm completely enveloped by Randy's scent. It makes me hard. I snuggle myself in the blankets around me, inhaling deep as I press my face into them and settle into his chair. I'm already falling asleep. So much for using this time to think...

But one thing I did work out is, I'm letting Randy back into the room tonight. THAT'S for sure.

* * *

><p>"Hey darlin'" A sweet familiar voice came from behind me jerked me out of my sleep. Shit. I must have been out for a while if Randy's home with Samantha already!<p>

"Hey." I manage a sleepy hello as I push the blankets away from my face and rub my eyes. "What time is it?"  
>"A little after five." She replied and I can't help but smile as Samantha's dainty arms wrap around my shoulders and hugs me back against her chest as she leans over the back of the chair, "Hey, <em>you,<em>" She greets and kisses my head._ "H_ow you doing in here all by your lonesome?" Sam is so warm and kind to me. I really do like her. "I'm okay." I say as I lean into her arms, "Just watching the storms roll in and out." Lies. I'm moping and she knows it but if Randy told her WHY, I'm going to KILL him. "You sure, honey?" She asks and nuzzles my head and gave my scalp a firm kiss, "Randy said you're not too happy with him right now, everything okay?"

I tense but force a shrug. Okay so he told her I was angry but maybe not as to why. _Yet_. "Yeah I guess so," I manage a smile even though she can't see me, "Thanks." I don't want to be rude but I also really _don't_ want to talk about Randy right now either but, Samantha's very patient and understanding and she probably already knows that I won't be very forth coming about _anything_ right now. And why would I be? She's Randy's girlfriend, not mine.

"Just making sure." She says and lets out a content sigh, hugging me tighter, "I would feel so awful if you were sitting in here alone and hurting, baby. You'd tell me if you were wouldn't you?" I shrug. "Probably." I'm _so_ lying. I _am_ hurting. But how could I possibly tell Samantha? Sure she'd understand how I could be in love with Randy but I can't exactly lean on _her_ for that. I mean she's Randy's girl, how could I talk to her about how Randy makes me feel? And besides, nothing would change if I _did_ tell her so why put us through that mess? Right now it's safer just to keep my mouth shut and play along. Much _much _safer. "Come one Cody, you can talk to me, sweetie," She is so kind and I would tell her if I could. "No matter what I'll be here for you and if you need any help don't be afraid to ask, okay?" She squeezes tight, kissing my ear gently, "B_ecause I don't judge you, baby, you know that." _I shudder. Is she implying what I think she is? "Sam…"  
>"It's <em>okay<em>." She whispers, "We don't have to say it."

I reach up and close my hands around her forearms but not to remove the. I need something to hold on to. I don't like where she's going with this. Does she _know_?-? How could she!-? "What you talking about?"  
>"I'm talking about <em>you<em>, sweetheart." She continues to whisper, "And how you're coping with all this…"  
>"I'm afraid, Sam." I admit.<br>"I know."  
>"I just want things to go back to the way they were." I add , clutching her tight, "He's my best friend and I don't want to let him down but what if I just <em>can't<em> do this? What if I blow it for him and he gets sent back to Canada? He'd hate me."  
>"Let me stop you right there. Randy could <em>never <em>hate you. He loves you and he knows you're doing everything you can to help him so if this doesn't work out he wouldn't dare blame you." She pauses and runs her hand soothingly through my hair. God I love her. "No on would, because you did your best and that's all Randy asks of you."  
>"My best? Hell I don't know what my best is in this case is, Sam. I'm just following his lead." And totally failing! Because of how I feel. Because of how he <em>makes<em> me feel! God I'm turning this into a huge fucking MESS!

"Why is this so difficult for you?" Sam asks bluntly and calls me out with that one question. Why IS this so difficult for me? She wants the truth? Well not to sound cliche but, she couldn't handle the truth. And I know because **I** can barely handle the truth. "Randy's your best friend, don't you trust him?"  
>"Of course I do." I assure with a nod. Because I do trust him but, not entirely. Nor do I trust myself. I'm just lost and confused and apparently insane too because I suddenly have these <em>weird<em> feelings for my best friend that are making everything so damn difficult. I shouldn't even have them to begin with when I've never once showed an interest in Randy _that_ way before but now all of a sudden I can't think of anything else. And, I sure as hell can't tell Sam about it! That would be incredibly STUPID. I think.  
>"Then what's <em>wrong<em>, sweetheart?" She probes and hugs me tight. "Why are you hiding?" Fuck. Am I that obvious? I look away, down to the floor because it feels safer. "I'm just overwhelmed."  
>"Anything I can do to help?" Yeah, you could leave Randy so I can have him. "No, no I'm alright. No need to worry. I'm sure I'll get to where I need to be before the wedding." LIAR. By then I'll be so flustered and confused that I'll probably pass out standing at the alter. NO joke, I'll faint like a frightened woman who's over reacting to a mouse than ran across the floor...Yeah. I'm so fucking cool, aren't I?<p>

"Are you sure? We can talk about it if you want." She's pushing and as kind as Sam is I can't snap at her, I'd hurt her feelings. And then Randy would be furious. And how would that help? "I-I don't know." I admit, "Talking's not going to fix anything and I feel like I've said all that I can say about this." Another lie. Telling the truth would be a good place to start Cody! Just tell her how you really feel about him!

"Have you?"  
>"Have I what?"<br>"Said everything you need or want to say?" Oh, no. But as far as she's concerned I have. "Yeah but it didn't help so I'd rather not repeat it. Randy and I are getting married in a matter of days and I have to be so perfect or I'll blow it and lose him. _I'm scared._ And when I'm scared I hide to collect myself…No big deal."  
>"Poor baby. You don't have to hide. Randy and I are happy to help through this." <strong>I know<strong>. I just don't want them to. I shake my head. "Oh yeah I'm sure Randy would have a blast making out with me again." I mean he _seems_ to but I'm not foolish enough to believe that he actually enjoys it the same way _I_ seem to. Randy is straight, last time I checked...

Sam gently nuzzles my ear with a reassuring squeeze of my shoulders. "He _does_ have a blast, doesn't he? Sometimes I worry he likes it a bit more than he says he does. Like, Randy could be so gay and not even know it!"

Hmp. Really? Could Randy had encountered the same conflict that I have?...I doubt it. "You think so?" I humor her slightly. "I mean you would know you _are_ his girlfriend."  
>"You would think I'd have a clue but," She snickers, "I don't. I only have my suspicions and that only comes up after he's done kissing you. He makes it look so damn convincing!"<br>"Heh. You're telling me. _I'm_ the one with his tongue down my throat. I swear it's like he's _trying_ to make me like it. Or steal the air out of my lungs!" Sam let out a warm, gentle laugh. "I know! I saw that! He's just torturing you!"

"He's such a punk!" I manage to laugh because now that I'm talking about it, it is a little funny how _eager_ Randy is to kiss me. And how well he actually does it. "He's trying to make me like it! I could just deck him! And I would have already if I could think to do it when he's got his tongue down my throat! He's lucky that he's a good kisser!"

"Ugh, I know, he's like, the best kisser and he's an asshole for always killing me with it!" Thank God for Samantha. She always knows how to make me laugh and feel at ease; her warm laugh and genuine concern is such a breath of fresh air because you just don't find people like that anymore. Samantha is a kind, sweet, genuinely good person and she would do anything to help anyone she can. Her heart is one of giving and trust. She's a rarity, to say the least. No wonder Randy loves her.

"I tell him all the time that that's how he got me." She says through her laughter. "One good kiss and I was his!" Boy do I know what she means by that. All of this started the very first moment of our very first kiss in my room. Our room. Whatever. "Oh so _that's_ how he got you into bed." I tease and she lets out a mock gasp of outrage and I give her the most innocent smile I have. "What?"  
>"I didn't sleep with him until our third date I'll have you know!"<br>"Wow the _third_ date? That was what, five days after you met him? Such restraint, Sam!" I laugh and it feels good.  
>"Oh you big brat! You know you can't blame me! Randy's got that-that <em>way<em> about him! He just needs to be touched!" Heh. Don't I know it. I lean back into her arms and we laugh softly as she effectively comforts me. It feels good. I'd be happy if we could always be friends...But that might be impossible now since, I kind of WANT her man...

"You're such a brat to me, Cody." She snickers, "Don't act like you don't like touching him too!"  
>"Wouldn't that make you mad?-?" I ask and feel myself grow serious, the smile leaving my face rather quickly. "I mean wouldn't you be REALLY pissed off if I <em>liked<em> touching him and having to kiss him?"  
>"Nope." She hugs me tight. "Not one bit." What?-!<br>"Why? He's your guy, isn't he?"  
>"Well, yes, but...It seems kind of pointless to be angry about it. It's not like you're a stranger to me, Cody. I know you and I know you'll be good to him. Besides, I'm already sharing him with you, aren't I?"<br>"I don't know what you mean by _sharing him_. He's _yours_, **not mine**. And I would think you'd be jealous or _uncomfortable_ if I actually liked kissing Randy-"  
>"I wouldn't." She says adamantly. "Because I can't blame you for liking it-"<br>"Never said that I did."  
>"You don't have to, sweetheart, I know you do."<br>Gulp. How-How could she _possibly_ know?-! "Sam I-"  
>"Shhh." She stops me softly, "It's <em>okay<em>, Cody, it doesn't make me mad..."

My chest tightens anxiously. Fuck it _should_ make her mad but why do I get the feeling that she's _happy_ about all of this? Why do I get the feeling that she would be perfectly happy if Randy left her for me? God she is so weird! I love her but the woman is just nuts! But I'll show her. I have an idea and I'll show them both! I'll show Randy that I _can_ do this and I'll show Sam that it might have been funny the first few times she saw us kiss, when I was freaking out about it but, NOW she'll what it looks like without my fucking nerves. NOW she'll see how it is when I kiss him and I mean REALLY kiss him!

I get up, "Oh really? You think watching me kiss him like I like it wouldn't make you mad?" I challenge her and before she can reply I set off to find Randy.

The hallway leading out of the den is long but I'm quick and find the kitchen. It's empty. I move onto the dinning room. Also empty. Damn it! Where is he?-! "Randy? Oh, Randy!" I call and can't help but smirk as I continue my search and hear Samantha catching up behind me.

"Cody?" I hear Randy call from the living room and within moments we meet in the doorway, almost colliding but stop just in time.

I don't give him a chance to speak, why would I? I grab him and kiss him right on the mouth, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulled him down into my kiss with one tug. Let's see how HE likes being surprised with shit like this!-! I bet he'll flip out about this too but fuck at least he'll FINALLY understand!

I kiss him hard, forcing him to kiss me back like he's done to me too many times before. Randy seems stunned but only for a second before he plays along and puts his arms and hands in their rightful places around my body, bringing us together in a convincing, dramatic, passionate kiss I would have normally fucked up by now. But I'm not fucking it up this time. I'm going to kiss him until he makes e stop and enjoy every second of it to prove my point. Sam will be pissed! I just know it! I fucking showed her!

Randy forces us to stop, squeezing my waist tight as he pries his lips from mine. He looks at me, into my eyes like he's searching for any form of panic that's usually spinning my head in every direction. But he'll find none. He doesn't and smiles. Told you. He brushes his lips to mine, his smile widening as I clutch my hands into the back of his shirt. I want more. I start to go for it, staring at his lips but he stops me, moving his mouth just out of my reach...

"Mr. Springfield is **here**." I catch my eyes before they grow wide, and I hold my breath. Shit. What's that asshole doing here? I thought our next appointment wasn't until after the wedding?-! "_Oh_." I say and after a second turn and manage a smile as I do and find Mr. Springfield glaring at me from his spot on my couch, in another hideous brown suit and jacket. "Hello, Mr. Springfield, what brings you out to the sticks?"  
>"Cut the crap, Mr. Rhodes, you know exactly what brings me out here. This charade you and Mr. Orton are trying to orchestrate has to have an end somewhere and I'm determined to find it. Now, have you two come to your senses about all of this and changed your minds?" What the fuck? "<em>Charade<em>?" I sound confused, and **convincing**. "What do you mean by that, Mr. Springfield? Are you so rude as to imply that he and I are not lovers in our own home? What grounds do you have to even say such a thing!"  
>"Grounds? I'll give you grounds, Mr. Rhodes! Let's start with the fact that Mr. Orton's girlfriend is here as we speak! If that doesn't blow your game-"<br>"I'm sorry, hang on." Samantha breaks in gracefully, "I'm sorry to interrupt but let's get one thing straight here, Mr. Springfield. Randy is **not** my boyfriend. I'm just here going over wedding arrangements with them."

Mr. Springfield shakes his head, his eyes squinted in a hard, hateful glare. "I'm no fool." He says and opens his jacket, reaching into it and pulls out a small, troublesome note pad, flipping it open with a quick snap of his wrist. "Let's see, you were Mr. Orton's girlfriend last year when you first came to see me in...May. Yep. That's what I have written here."  
>"Okay? So? We didn't want you to know that he and Cody were together so I lied for him and said that I was his girlfriend. Tons of gay guys do that to save themselves the trouble of having to deal with people like you who would use them being gay against them. They're no different than them."<br>Mr. Springfield turns red, a thick vein noticeably protruding from his temple. "You lied _then_ so what would make me think you're not lying NOW?"  
>Sam shrugs. "Believe what you wish but the truth will be the truth, no matter what you think. And honestly, Mr. Springfield, how many gay guys do you see that don't have at least one woman friend they always spend time with? Hm? Being gay isn't new and if you ask me you're grasping at straws because, how often do case workers make such a long trip out to the sticks to check on their immigrants?" God I love her. She paused but only to give the old bastard a disappointed shake of her head. "You shouldn't waste your time on good people like us, Mr. Springfield, you should focus on those who actually <em>need<em> your attention." I smile as I watch as Mr. Springfield's anger was quickly replaced with shock, his eyes wide and completely stunned. He stutters for a moment and I have to hide a chuckle as the old bastard struggles to regain his thoughts after Samantha made him feel about two feet tall. Fuck I LOVE her!

"Well, with all due respect Ma'am, I'm just doing my job because if Mr. Orton had informed you a home visit or two is just a part of the investigation process. I am doing nothing he and his friend weren't expecting."

Sam purses his lips briefly and already I can't wait to hear what she's going to say. "Hmm, well, expecting it or not your office should have sent someone who knows a thing or two about _real_ gay people and not just the stereotypes. Otherwise we wouldn't have wasted five minutes of their time worrying about _me_ when I'm just a typical gay-hag spending time with her two favorite boys."  
>"That's right." I back her up as I give Mr. Springfield a fierce glare and snuggle as close to Randy as I possible can. I want that old son-of-a-bitch to think Randy's mine so, I'm going to start fucking acting like it. For the moment and many more to come, Randy IS mine. I smirk, I can't help it. "And even if you have business here you've wasted enough time worrying about Samantha when you came here to focus on <em>us<em>. So get to it." I finish as I lean into Randy's chest, hugging his waist tight as I rub my hand over his back, even though Mr. Springfield can't see it, I do it anyway. Randy doesn't complain.

"Alright then." Mr. Springfield nervously clears his throat as he tucks his annoying little note pad into his pocket and hopefully for good. "I'm short on time myself so, back to business then. I'd like to take a quick look around." Wow. Sam and I actually shut the old man up and wiped that smug as look off his old ass face! I never thought I'd see the day!  
>"Go for it." Randy encourages bitterly as I feel his hand come to rest in the small of my back. "We've got nothing to hide, do we babe?"<br>"Nope." I confirm and look up at Randy as I sensually slide my hand from his waist up to his neck. "But be quick if you can, Mr. Springfield. Randy and I have _other_ things to do." I so don't give a fuck if that sounds dirty. I HOPE that bastard takes that as a hint that we're going to fuck. Hell if I had it my way we WOULD fuck tonight. Randy would have me bent over the kitchen table fucking my brains out if I had my way!

"Oh, damn, I should get going, I've got a term paper due tomorrow." Sam breaks the tension and announces before she leans in, kissing each of our cheeks and gave mine a light, tender stroke. "I'll see you two tomorrow. You be _good_, Cody. Try not to worry about the wedding, alright? You leave that to me and just enjoy spending time with Randy."  
>"Oh I will." I rub it in and can't help but smile at her as she winks and for some reason it DOESN'T freak me out. It should but, it doesn't. I mean she knows that I want Randy and yet she's kind of encouraging me to ACT upon it. I should clarify that with her first but, maybe tomorrow. When Mr. Springfield isn't lurking around my house trying to find anything that would warrant throwing Randy out of the country. Asshole.<p>

Sam leaves and Randy and I see her to the door like gentleman, but I'm the one to close the door and lock it, smiling as I turn around to face Randy who I know must be more than surprised by my sudden HUGE change in moods. I would be myself but why bother? I WANT him. I might as well enjoy touching him when I can, right? Why waste the opportunity worried over something I can't change? I can't suddenly stop wanting Randy and now that I know I do, I'm done torturing myself over it. I could stand to torture Randy a bit more for humping me against the window last night but I think I'll just let him off the hook for that, for now.

I turn around to face him, smiling until I see the large, stunned blue pupils of my best friends eyes staring wide without blinking and I frown. Damn I didn't know he'd be THAT surprised. Hell I only kissed him ONCE on my own, not like I _humped_ him against a window. And yeah okay, I hung on him some just now but I've done that before too...So what gives? What's he all wide eyed for?

"Cody I-I couldn't possibly thank you enough for that." He whispers and I can't help but notice how he's inching closer to me. I back up, pressing my back to the door but my eyes are glued to his as he closes the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me before I can say a single word. He presses us to the door as his mouth descends upon mine and we kiss. I'm startled but I don't fight it. Why would I? His lips are so hungry for mine I can almost taste their desperation as I open just enough to let him inside; I let my hands and arms find their way around his back. My nerves stay calm as his tongue flicks against mine and I flick back. He squeeze me tighter, letting out a soft moan that makes my whole body weaken so I have no choice but to cling to him. But I don't care. I press into him, clawing my fingers into his back as I tilt my head for him to give me more. He does. We both moan as we begin to kiss hard and I don't know if he's doing this for show or not but fuck me if it isn't one of the best kisses of my life. And fuck if it doesn't make me want him that much more.

My hand curls around his neck, pulling him closer, kissing him harder even though a voice in my head screams that this isn't real. But god damn it, it _feels_ real. Randy's kissing me so hard, so deep, so passionate! I cling to him harder, my head spinning even though my eyes are closed as he consumes me with his kiss...

"Excuse me, ..._gentlemen_." Shit. No! No please! I want more!

Randy jerks his head up, tearing his lips from mine. I'm breathless, dizzy and shaking but I still manage to shoot the old bastard a glare. He had better be done with his inspection because I'm about ready to knock his fucking lights out. "_What_?" I ask in a deep, irritated tone through gritted teeth.  
>"Sorry to interrupt but I'll be leaving now, I've left a summary of my findings on the table in your dinning room."<br>"Good for you." Randy snaps just as irritated and as breathless as I sounded and he yanks me away from the door and out of the way before letting me go. I stand out of the way, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest as I watch Randy open the door for our "guest" to leave. Neither of us give a shit about his stupid findings and I'm glad to see him go, even if it means Randy won't want to kiss me anymore today.

I glare harder for a few moments until Mr. Springfield finally leaves without another word and Randy quickly slams the door and locks it behind me; turning to me swiftly. "You're the best, Cody, _really_." He says to me softly just in case Mr. Springfield hasn't _quite_ left yet. "I don't even know what to say right now."

I shake my head, silently gazing at him, doing all that I can to hide the longing I feel as I look at him fondly. I wish he wouldn't say anything. I wish he would just kiss me and touch me and _fuck me_, that's what I wish. But this is all just a big show to Randy and that kiss was just like all the others. It was just, a part of the game. I'll admit that hurts more than I thought it would but I've tortured him enough for one day. And him the same for me. "It's alright, Randy." I tell him. "You don't have to say anything, everything's cool."  
>"Really?" He asks and lets out a sigh of relief. "So you're not mad at me anymore?"<br>"Nah." Maybe a little but it's not his fault. "I think having Mr. Springfield come around here helped kick my ass into gear and took care of my nerves." I smile to reassure him. "So we're okay."  
>"Oh man!" He sighs again, laughing nervously as he approaches me, quickly pulling me into a tight, appreciative hug. "Don't fucking scare me like that! Fuck I thought you were fucking <em>done<em> with me!"

"Sorry." I murmur as hug him back, closing my eyes as I press my face into his neck, biting back a content sigh of my own as I settle into the only place where I feel I truly belong. I could never be done with Randy and how he could think that is beyond me but, I'll let it go. I can worry about it later. Right now I'm just going to hug him and enjoy the moment.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Sorry about the wait guys!**

I'm so cold I'm shaking. Or it could be the excitement of the moment as Randy tears the blankets away from my body and attacks me with his mouth.

We're completely naked. Don't ask me how but we are and the intimate contact of skin on skin feels so fucking _good_ as Randy glides over my body. My stomach flutters as he settles in the gap between my legs, pushing them further apart to make room for himself entirely. I spread them wide, suddenly breathless as our groin's _bump_ into one another gently. But he's _so_ hard for me. Fuck it makes me want him so bad I can feel it aching over every inch of me! I start touching him everywhere I can reach, my fingers caressing and touching his soft, warm skin with a hungry, sensual sense of urgency as they explore and take in every inch of him I find. I don't know how we ended up like this but I don't give a shit. Because we're going to fuck and I can ask questions LATER. Later as in AFTER he's had his way with me. And only after! I arch against him, thrusting my tongue hard into his mouth with a deep, shameless moan for more. You're mine, Randy Orton! Finally, you're mine!-!

Randy kisses me, long and hard, our tongues wet and hot, gliding, spearing, diving and plunging into our sweet, hot depths of pleasure. My throat is full of him and soon the rest of me will be too. I spread myself wider, clawing at his back as his lips leave mine and kisses their way down my neck, sucking my sensitive skin into his mouth, his teeth biting in all the right places as his soft, strong hands roam over my chest and abdomen, raking over my taunt, twitching muscles that tingle with excitement and make me moan and shudder. Oh god he's _so_ warm. And strong! And fuck he knows exactly what to do! Where to touch me! Fuck he's so amazing! I can't stop myself from squirming, the anticipation already getting to me. I've waited long enough damn it! I squirm hard but Randy's hot, wet mouth finds mine again, kissing me hard as his wonderful hands move lower to my groin, taking me into one of them just in time with a deep growl he sends down my throat. I gasp as I jerk into his fingers, wordlessly begging him for more. Fuck I can't believe this. I can't believe he's actually here! I love him so fucking MUCH. I thrust my tongue passed his lips over and over, diving deep and tasting every wonderful inch of him that I can. He's so sweet. So hot and _wet_. And not to mention, fucking MASSIVE. I can feel him, pressing hard against my abdomen and groin as he strokes me, admiring every inch of me as if he doesn't put mine to shame.

My hand dives between us, closing around his massive cock, moaning hard as my own cock pulses in his hand. He lets out a moan as I stroke my hand down him, my stomach fluttering as I get a generously idea of how much he's going to give me, and still I can't wait. I want him so fucking bad, I'm shaking, our mouths meeting again and again but our bodies are lost to the sensation of each others hands on our dicks, stroking every inch of each other as he grind and rut against our hands. I need him so bad, he doesn't even know! "Randy!" I force a plea against his lips, spreading myself even wider as I push upwards into his hand. "Randy please! I need you!" Oh god I need him so fucking bad!-!

I stroke him faster, squeezing harder as Randy nods. Yes yes yes! Randy's hands leave my cock but don't go far, gliding over my thighs until they push my hand away from his dick I reluctantly give back. I want to hold him but I know he's going to make me love it so much more in just a few moments. Yes yes yes!

He guides himself between me, my eyes locked on his as he presses just the tip of himself into me. "I love you." I blurt out and he nods, diving down to kiss me but stops just above me, hovering above my lips, just out of reach so I can only gaze questioningly into his soft, beautiful blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Cody." He whispers and I frown. Huh? Wait. Sorry for what?-! "What do you-"  
>"You have to wake up now." Oh god! I instantly shake my head as horror floods over my entire body. No! It can't be! Please no it can't be a dream! I cling to him but he's already gone and my hands are empty, my body growing colder and colder. Shit! No! No no no-awwwww!-! My eyes flutter open and I gasp hard and loud as the sight of my dark room floods my vision and chases away the most wonderful dream. DAMN IT! I sit up slightly, barely held up by my elbow and realize I'm panting and swallow hard to wet my very dry throat. Shit that was intense. And so real! I swear he was kissing me, I swear he was on top of me getting ready to take me and make me whole! So unfair! Why did it have to be a dream?-!<p>

I lay back down to the pillow after scanning the room for nothing in particular, gritting my teeth as I feel the cold air of the room bite at my skin. I'm not naked but my briefs aren't really blocking out the cold! And plus I'm sweaty too. From the dream that never should have ended. Damn it.

"Hey?" Comes Randy's voice from over my shoulder as he stirs slightly beneath the sheets, "You awake?"  
>"Yeah." I whisper. Shit. I woke him.<br>"Bad dream?"  
>"Sort of." I lie as I cuddle back into the blankets for warmth, shivering hard. Why am I so frickin' <em>cold<em> right now? And damn it why did I have to wake up?-! The dream was just getting good! Maybe if I close my eyes and fall asleep really fast I can pick up where I left off? I close them, biting back a shudder. Shit. I'm too cold. I'll never get back to sleep like this. My eyes fly open. The cold isn't my only problem. I'm hard right now too. And normally this is where I'd throw myself onto my back and jerk my self out of this painful condition but, Randy's _right_ behind me. And things might get a bit weird if I just start moaning his name and masturbating. REALLY weird. So hands off. For now. If I can get back to sleep. Other wise I'm going to the bathroom.

I shiver, pulling the blankets as close as they'll go and try to stop my body from shaking. What the fuck it's not even that cold. "Come here." Randy suddenly whispers, his voice soft with sleep as he reaches beneath the sheets and snags my waist. Shit! He slides up close, hugging me to his body with a small, content sigh. "There. That better?"  
>"Ye-yeah." Definitely better now. But yet NOT. I swallow softly, peering into the darkness as I listen to him breathe.<br>"Good..." He murmurs. "You okay?"  
>"..." Fuck I don't know how to answer that. I mean I'm okay but DAMN. That dream was so real and so-so heavy! I can still feel it in my groin! It's like a slow, dwindling fire that once burned hard and thrived with passionate life. Meaning? I had a MASSIVE hard-on. MASS-IVE. And the damn thing has no plans of stopping. Of course it doesn't. It wants the man holding me and unless Randy suddenly became gay I look pretty foolish right now. But don't I always?<br>"Codes?"  
>Shit. "It was <em>so<em> real." I finally think to say and Randy instantly hugs me tight with another deep, tired moan that sends a shiver down my spine as it rumbles between us down his chest. "Mmm, s'alright, I've got you, everything's okay."  
>I nod, swallowing hard. "That you do." I whisper and dare to let myself relax into his arms. "That you do..." Randy <em>does<em> have me, he just doesn't know it. Or maybe he does but not to the same extent that I'd like him to because if he did we WOULD be fucking right now. We'd be fucking for like, the hundredth time by now! And not because I'm a fucking _virgin_. No I actually I _want_ Randy. Not just physically but emotionally too. Because call me crazy but I'd give Randy every part of me; my heart, my soul, my everything! And I would easily hand everything over to him if he just, gave the word. But, truthfully though? I gave Randy my heart a long time ago, now that I think about it. Because he's been the only one for me for years and it's only fair that he give me his heart in return. He has mine so, I should have his. It's only fair. Unlikely. But fair.

I relax a bit more but tense again as Randy's hand suddenly closes over mine and tucks our arms against my chest and stomach with another content sigh. He's comfortable, relaxed, and drifting off with me in his arms. I fucking love it. I squeeze his hand, suddenly very warm and I have to bite back a content sigh of my own. If only we could stay like this. But the clock. Damn the time. Just a couple more hours until I have to get up and even worse Randy has even less time before he has to get up to meet Samantha for a trip into town to pick up our tuxedos for the wedding. A full day ahead of us...Damn it. The only upside to that is I'll have the house to myself for a couple of hours so I can jerk off by the computer a few times before Randy gets home...

* * *

><p>Sam's late but not by much. Which is fine but if she doesn't get here soon I might miss my friend at his office and I can't let that happen today, not again. Because he has that damn folder and Cody asked me about it before I left and if he asks again and I don't have an answer, he might be mad. I did promise him I'd have it looked at. Whatever the hell it was. That damn Alberto. He and the rest of the land developers need to just fuck off because we're not going anywhere and I swear if Alberto ever kisses Cody again I'm going to beat the shit out of him. Stupid <em>fuck<em>. He had no right to kiss Cody knowing that he was engaged to me! God damn it I still get mad about that!

I take out a smoke from my inside jacket pocket, snapping my light open to the end of it and take a long drag. Of course it still enrages me. Alberto made a move on Cody and I'm pretty sure it was just to fuck with Cody's head. Why go that route though? And, how does Alberto even know about us? Cody had asked me but I acted like the fact didn't bother me but, shit. It scared the hell out of me. Because how DOES Alberto know about us? Mr. Springfield must be poking his nose around in town and that's not good. We're trying to keep this shit _quiet_ so that when the year is over we can get divorced and hopefully no one we know will be none the wiser. We don't need that old bastard going around asking questions about us when no one fucking _knows_ anything. And not only that but we don't need this shit getting back to Cody's fucking _brother_. Who I imagine would bust our story to shit and sell us down the river for a quick buck. Not that Dustin's a bad guy but if he thought he could save Cody from me and this mess _and_ make a few bucks then, he'd sell the land and kick my ass out of the country himself faster than I could fucking _spit._ Only to protect Cody and I would understand his reaction because if I were him I would do the same thing but, Cody made this choice. Cody is a grown man and if his brother really cared then he never would have left his younger brother to fend for himself like he did. He would have stayed or at least _come back_ after hearing that Cody lost just about everything during the floods, or at least when his horses were poisoned. But nope. No Dustin. Not even a call. _I_ was the one who was there for Cody. _I_ was the one who ran to his side and helped pick him back up when he lost everything. Not Dustin. So he wouldn't exactly have the right to come back here and take over in an effort to protect Cody but still, I'd understand why he would. I doubt it would happen though. So far only Alberto and the other jerks at the land developers office know about Cody and I so...fingers crossed.

I flick the last of my smoke to the porch and step it out slowly, eying the horizon as I see the first signs of Samantha's car kicking up dirt from the long road towards the house. Awesome. Time to get this day over with.

Sam pulls up and out of her long, black suburban, handing me the keys with a big smile like she always does and we get in. I buckle up and get us going, revving the engine gently before taking off. "Thanks for picking me up today, babe. I have a shit load of errands to run." I tell her with a smile, I'm glad to see her.  
>"No problem, hun, I was hoping we could have lunch today."<br>"Sounds good, how's the cafe sound?"  
>"Perfect, we'll be just in time for the lunch special."<br>"It's a date." I agree as I begin to lean across the seat but stop myself before I kiss her, suddenly remembering that someone might be watching and the last thing I need is for Mr. Springfield to show up with pictures of "proof" that Cody and I are lying about being together. I smile at her though, reaching over and gave her knee a gentle squeeze. Maybe after we get to the main road I can steal a quick kiss...

"So how you been, babe? School going okay?"  
>Sam smiles as she nods, buckling her seat belt. "Yeah everything's good, hun. How about you? Is Cody handling everything okay now?"<br>"Actually, yeah, he is. Thanks to you." That's no lie, Cody's been damn near wonderful ever since he and Sam had their little pep talk and Cody surprised me in the hallway with a damn good kiss I could never possibly forget. It was incredible. And Cody's whole attitude about our marriage has changed for the better and I know that I have Sam to thank for that. I owe her huge. HUGE. "What ever you said to him _worked_, babe. I'd tried over and over but I just keep freaking him out and he spent more time hiding from me than anything else!"  
>Sam shrugs, looking before herself and out at the road with a hard, thoughtful expression dipping her perfectly trimmed brows slightly, "Well it's no problem, really. I mean sometimes it just takes an outsiders perspective to make certain things clear...You know?"<br>I frown although I agree with her that another persons perspective is helpful at times but, "Like what?" What was so _unclear_ to Cody? We're getting married to save my sweet ass from deportation-that's pretty simple. So how could anything be _unclear_ to Cody? I just don't understand.

Sam glances at me but keeps her brow low, "I think you forget that for Cody this whole thing is just, _complicated_. He wants to help, but he's afraid to mess everything up. He _wants_ to marry you, but there's a few things that he has to come to terms with first."  
>"Like what?"<br>"Like..." She pauses, pursing her lips briefly as if trying to think of the right thing to say. Or maybe like she's _hiding_ something. But what? "Well...You know, things like having to kiss his best friend..."  
>"O...Kaaay..." AND?-! Cody and I have to kiss every now and then, so what?-!<br>"See you don't understand. Because YOU don't have any hang up's about it but _Cody_ did."  
>"Hell no I don't have any hang up's, Sam. And he shouldn't either! We're only getting married to save me from deportation! It's not even that big of a deal!"<br>"No! It IS a big deal, Randy! And you can't say things like that! You can't just assume such things about someone who-who..." She abruptly stops, pursing her lips again but only for a brief moment. "Okay, starting over, what I meant to say was that you can't assume Cody is comfortable with kissing his best friend whom he loves more than anyone in the whole world. He's scared he's going to mess everything up and get you deported so yeah, that IS a big deal to him. Give him a break."  
>"He-he <em>said<em> that?" Cody loves me more than _anyone_ in the world? That can't be right. I must have misunderstood.  
>"He doesn't <em>have<em> to say it, Randy. It's obvious."  
>What the? "It is?" I know that Cody loves me but, more than anyone else in the world? What about his brother? True Dustin hasn't shown his face here in years but that's Cody's <em>blood<em>. Surely he loves his only brother more than me! Sam's got to be crazy! I love her but Sam's reading into things too much and seeing Cody and I's close friendship the wrong way, I think. Because Cody and I are close but, damn, not _that_ close!...I-I think.  
>"Randy?"<br>Shit. "Huh?"  
>"Did you hear anything I just said?"<br>"No, sorry, I was thinking." And I'm completely distracted by the thought that Cody loves me.

Sam sighs as she reaches over and pats my knee. "Of course you were. You two are so blind to each other it's not even funny and the _moment_ I bring something to you or Cody's attention you guys disappear inside your head and analyze just about every inch of your relationship. Both of you go all silent on me like I've said something that isn't true. Which I **haven't** and you two love each other more than you realize and it's ridiculous how you guys try to deny it."  
>"Sam..." I start with an amused laugh because she's gone a bit too far now. I hope she's <em>kidding<em>. "I think you're reading into this too much, Cody and I are just _friends._ Yes we're close but I'm starting to get the idea that you might think there's something else going on between us."  
>"Isn't there?"<br>My head jerks back in surprise. "What? No!" What the fuck?-!  
>"Randy, babe, come on, you know you're crazy about Cody, you always have been."<br>"Sam!" I try to stop her, almost slamming on the brakes as much stomach flutters with both anxiety and something else I can describe. Because she's so wrong about this! So, SO wrong!-! "There's nothing going on between us! We're FRIENDS! And don't you think that if you _really_ thought that there was something going on that you'd be pissed off?-! I mean come on, Sam! I'd be cheating on you, baby! And you know that I'd NEVER do that!-!"

Sam shrugs and it makes my jaw drop. "I wouldn't see that as cheating and truthfully I don't think you do either. You two have been dancing around this-this _thing_ for the past five years and if you're cheating on anyone it would be _Cody._ Not. ME."  
>"Excuse me?-!" Oh god I can't breathe! Not good since I'm fucking driving! "Sam, stop playing around!" She just can't be serious right now! I am not cheating on anyone! Especially fucking CODY!-!<br>"I'm NOT playing, Randy. I'm TIRED. You two are fucking _exhausting_ and I can't stand this _game_ you're playing anymore. You and Cody have a special bond that I could never compete with and you sit there acting as if anyone ever could! It's maddening!"

Oh-Oh my god. I clench the steering wheel hard, my arms and hands shaking as I struggle to concentrate on the road. What in the HELL is she talking about?-! She doesn't have to compete with Cody! Fucking hell man! Where is this suddenly coming from! "Are you _mad_ at me or something?-!"

"No!"  
>"Then what the hell is with you today?-! Why are you trying to convince me that I'm cheating on you with CODY?-!"<p>

"You mean to tell me that you don't think there's _anything_ going on between you and Cody?-!"  
>What the fuck?-! This is getting fucking ridiculous! And it's seriously staring to piss me off! "<strong>YES<strong>." I'm pretty damn sure I would know if there was! And I'd sure as hell tell her if I did know!  
>"<em><strong>Really<strong>_?" She scowls skeptically and already I can tell I'm not going to like what she's going to say next. "Then why is it that every time I see you we end up talking about Cody while you have that love-sick puppy dog expression on your face?-! And why was is it that you can _kiss_ him the way you do?-!" She seems angry but she's not, I know her. She frustrated and no, I don't like what she's asking. Because I don't have an answer. I don't interrupt. She glares at me, her arms folded over his chest. "And better yet, Randy, _babe,"_ She turns to me in her seat, looking me up and down slowly and I feel it coming. I _feel_ the question before she even has a chance to say it.

"If there's nothing going on between you and Cody then why haven't we had _sex_ since you asked Cody to _marry_ you?-!"

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

SHIT. I don't even have to think about it. Samantha's RIGHT. My stomach clenches hard, I'm holding my breath. Or maybe I can't breathe. Fuck I can't even think! She's right! Oh god, she's right! I haven't touched her in weeks! "S-Sam I-"  
>"Save it, Randy. I'm not angry. I'm <em>frustrated<em>. And no, it's not about the sex." She puts her hand up to stop the thought before I could even think it. Truthfully I'm too horrified to think. Sam lowers her hand, "I've known about you and Cody for a very long time and I was really hoping that you two would have made a move by now but you're just too damn stubborn so apparently I have to spell it out for you. Apparently I have to tell you what's staring you two in the face!"  
>"Spell WHAT out, Sam?-!" What in the hell is going on! Why is she doing this! Oh god my hands are shaking! She-she wants sex? I-I can do that! We could have sex right now if she wants!<p>

"Oh for the love of-" Sam lets out a heavy, exasperated sigh as she turns further towards me in her seat, pointing her finger at me firmly. "You're in love with Cody!"  
>"WHAT?-!" I almost close my eyes as my head starts to spin. I let off the gas, swerving onto the shoulder and off the road. I'm in love with Cody? But-But how? I'm-I'm not even gay! "No! You're <em>wrong<em>." I tell her as the car finally comes to a stop on the side of the road. "You-You don't know what you're talking about!"  
>"No. I'm <em>not<em>. And yes, I DO know what I'm talking about. Because I KNOW that you love Cody, Randy. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that."  
>"Yes there is! It's not true!"<br>"YES. It IS true! Why else do you think you can kiss him the way you do! That's love, Randy! And you're SO into it, you've spoken of nothing else since you asked Cody to marry you!"

"_Stop_." I plead softly but Sam shakes her head, her eyes determined.  
>"No! You know I'm right! You've been so preoccupied with Cody the last few weeks that you've even you even missed a few things because you just couldn't think of anything else!"<br>Bullshit. She'll have to prove that because I know for a fact that there was nothing TOO miss because her birthday isn't till March and our anniversary is in January! So there! "Like _what!_ Name one thing I've missed!"  
>Sam scowls, "Okay. What day is it today?"<br>"Tuesday." I hope.  
>"Uh-huh and, the date would be?"<br>Oh for fucks sake! "I don't know, the 29th?"  
>"<em>Right<em>. So last Thursday, November 24th would have been?"  
>I flinch. Oh no. I forgot Thanksgiving! No, we! WE forgot Thanksgiving! I glance at Sam, my hearts already racing, my head spinning and my chest tight. She's right. I know she's right. And Thanksgiving has nothing to do with it. But it sure as hell proved her point.<p>

"Babe..." Sam reaches over and grabs my knee, holding it gently and somehow manages to reassure me with just one squeeze. "I shouldn't have told you about all of this like I did but you and Cody are about to get married-"  
>"Which was YOUR idea." I remind her defensively. It only makes her smile, "I know. I knew what I was doing when I encouraged you to marry him but what I didn't know was that you were going to drag your damn feet like you are. I thought the wedding would make you realize your feelings but instead you're just as oblivious as ever. Well, you <em>were<em> oblivious, now you're just surprised and I know that if I don't push you now you'll talk yourself out of it and you'll never get to be with Cody so, tell him, Randy. Tell him before it's too late."

I don't know what to say. I'm in love with Cody and my girlfriend was the one to point it out to me. Hell what could I say? Thanks? Good job? Nothing seems appropriate. "You have to tell him," Sam says softly, "You HAVE to. Before the wedding. So you can stop hurting him like you do." Shit. Didn't know I was hurting Cody. Add that to the list of discoveries today. And as far as telling Cody all of this? "I don't know if I CAN tell him, Sam, I've only just realized this myself and frankly I don't even have the words. I couldn't just come out and say "hey, I love you, let's be together"."  
>"Why not?"<br>"Because I can't."  
>"Why NOT."<br>"Because." I sneer through my teeth. Why does she have to know? Obviously I'm fucking struggling with all of this and her fucking badgering me isn't going to help! I don't know what I should do but just going to Cody and telling him that I love him doesn't sound right. It needs to be more than words! It needs to mean more! I look at Sam who's patiently waiting for me to finish before I set my gaze out the windshield to the road. "I can't just tell Cody I love him, it just won't work. Because after all these years he deserves better than that. And he'll know it."  
>"Okay so, do what you have to do, Randy, but make it fast. The wedding is in two days and you're running out of time."<br>"I KNOW." I grip the steering wheel tight. I just need a minute. My head fucking hurts.

But of course it hurts. I think I just uncovered years of repressed emotions and memories and the fact that suddenly so much of my life makes is fucking _intense_. Because fuck, I DO love Cody. I love him more than anything and it's so clear to me now because I as I look back on our years together there isn't one time I wasn't happy to be with him. In fact I think about Cody _every_ day and not because I live with him. But because I care. I care about what he's doing and where he is. I care about him keeping _his_ house that I have no claim to whatsoever. Hell I've been working my ass off doing sometimes two or three jobs at a time to help Cody pay for repairs when I could have _saved_ the money to get my own place. But of course I didn't do that. I stayed. I stayed because I love him. I numbly pull the car back onto the road, swallowing hard, thankful that Sam has backed off as she sits silently staring out the window. Shit this scares me. It's just so fucking _intense_. I don't think I've ever loved someone the way I love Cody; fuck I can feel it in my core, shaking me as I realize the depths my devotion goes. I've never felt anything like that. It's always been disguised under a warm, rush of excitement in my stomach almost every time I saw Cody. Until now. Now it just makes so much fucking _sense._ I **love** Cody.

And he's the only one in the world who makes me feel whole.

* * *

><p>Fuck I'm so tired. And <em>stressed<em>. Randy went to get our tuxedos, I think, and he had better of gone to see his friend about that damn file too. I'm tired of worrying about that shit. And about the wedding. I just want the day to come and go. Done. Over. Finished! But as anxious as I am time is _dragging_ on. At first it felt like it was coming too fast but now it can't get here fast enough. Silly right? I'm excited about marrying my best friend and yet, so fucking anxious about it too. Not that I think I can't pull it off, because I can at this point; I'm so in love with Randy that I don't even have to try to pretend anymore. I just. Love him. And it's the easiest thing I've ever done. But I'm anxious now that I'll make it _too_ obvious and Randy might freak out at the alter. Or something. I'm not making sense, I know. Some fresh air would do me good but the weather has been such shit lately that it's too damn muddy out to do anything so once again I'm stuck in the house, my plans canceled. At least I have the computer though. And the house to myself. Which I need after that dream last night. Need it _bad_.

I plop down in front of the computer, bringing up the browser. What do I search? Just type in "gay"? That worked last time. I type it and search, scanning over the first few things quickly. I don't have as much time as I'd like but it's better than nothing! So let's see...Gay fucking. Nope. Gay fisting. Hell no. Gay men in drag. Seriously? PASS...Bound and abused. BINGO. I click the link, already holding my breath...It's not weird is it? That I already like the idea of being tied up and whipped with something? It's not like, sick, or anything right? If it is I don't seem to care because the page loads and already I can't take my eyes off it. And I'm hard now too. Doesn't take me much these days!

I scroll down the pages, my chin resting against my palm as I eagerly search even though I feel like such a creep for doing this. And somewhat of a loser to. But fuck what else can I do? I'm about to get married and for the next year I have to act like I'm in love with Randy and then act like I'm not so he doesn't know and somehow find the right balance for that, along with not being able to date or explore my desires because I'm "married". Which is what I really want to do right now. Explore. Explore and forget that in two days I'll be hitched to my best friend. I'd rather rub one out instead. Much easier to clean up.

I look hard, holding my breath as I scan over a video I might like and move to click over the arousing picture that caught my eye. My thigh suddenly tingles and at first it's a welcomed sensation but it suddenly grows stronger and I frown, looking down. Why are my pants vibrating? I slap my hands to my pockets. Oh. Right. I shove my hand into my pocket. Damn phone. I should have turned it off!  
>"Hello?" I answer without checking the screen for an ID.<br>"Did you read the file I gave you?" What the fuck? "Alberto?"  
>"Si. Did you read the file?"<br>"Um..." Shit. "_I tried." _I did! That I can remember! "But I gave it to Randy."  
>Alberto sighs, "Cody, it's very important that you understand what it says."<br>"Why can't you just _tell_ me what all that crap and survey details means? And better yet why don't you tell me why you kissed me?-!" That would be a good start!  
>"Never mind the kiss for a moment, the file is the more pressing matter. What has your Randy said about the survey?"<p>

My Randy? Hmp. I like the sound of that. "He hasn't said anything but I _think_ he dropped it off to a friend in town. Not really sure if he actually did or not." Stupid. Why did I just tell him that? I haven't given it much thought what with recently coming to terms with certain things and dealing with Mr. Springfield continuously and randomly showing up. But maybe I should have? The sense of urgency in Alberto's voice tells me yes but, I still need to know WHY. Why is the damn file so damn important? And why can't he just fuckin' TELL me what this is all about?-!

"Hm, not good, Cody. Your Randy needs to call his friend as soon as possible. Time is running out."  
>"Alberto, <em>enough<em>! What in the hell is going on? Running out of time for _what_?-!" I HATE guessing games!-!  
>"<em>Everything<em>." He hung up.

What the? What does he mean by that?-! The wedding?-! Randy's deportation?-! Fuck! I shove my phone back into my jeans. I'll wait for Randy to come home before I tell him. Or maybe I shouldn't. Damn I really don't know. I forgot to ask Randy about the file before he left and since it hasn't been mentioned I can't help but wonder if he even dropped it off to his friend. He's not the forgetful type but he _has_ been fairly busy the past couple of weeks, but could the file have slipped his mind? Surely he would have mentioned the file had he heard any news...I-I think. Unless it wasn't important. Alberto sounded entirely serious on the phone about it and since he felt it necessary to actually call me about it my guess would be that there's something I _need_ to know that Alberto won't or _can't_ tell me.

Fuck what a mess. And thanks to that asshole I'm not in the mood for what's on the screen now. Damn it. I shut down the computer and light a smoke, pacing back and forth in the entry way by the front door for a moment. Fuck it. I've been inside all damn day and I'm going outside. I need some air, damn the wet porch.

I tear open the door and despite the ran I go outside, keeping my gaze on the ground to watch my footing as I step out the door. The air is fresh, wet, and thick with the earthly, natural scent of life. I do love the rain but for crying out loud! It feels like it's been raining for years! Maybe I should move and go some place dry? Like Arizona or some bland state that's hardly ever on the news. Some place quiet where tumble weeds _actually_ blow through the empty streets. Yeah. That' sounds nice right about now. But, if I moved I'd be giving those bastards at the land developers office what they want and after they poisoned my horses I'm NEVER going to do that. That and I'd never leave Randy here, he'd have to come with me and last time I checked he wasn't too impressed with the idea of living in the desert so moving is really out of the question. But I can dream can't I?

I close my eyes as I lean against the railing, staying just beneath the awning covering the porch so I don't get wet, listening to the constant, soothing south of soft rain hitting the ground. I could never move to the desert, really. This is my home. Rain and all it's mine and I could never leave it...

"Cody..." What the fuck! My eyes snap open and I jerk back as I find Alberto standing next to me on the porch, my heart instant pounding in my chest just at the sight of him. What the fuck?-! "What are you doing here!"  
>Alberto smiles, "What? Are you not happy to see me?"<br>I'm so defensive around him I scoff and instantly cross my arms. "I keep telling you to stay off my property and you dare even ask me that? Of course I'm not happy to see you. I just want you to leave me alone!"  
>"Ouch!" Alberto smacks his hand to his chest in a dramatic gesture as if he were suddenly heartbroken. "You break my heart!" Told you. "You're so cruel to me, Cody! I just wish to help you!"<br>I roll my eyes. As if I'd believe him! "What do you _want_, Alberto? I don't have time for your shit today."  
>"I have an offer for you." Great. Just what I wanted! "Fuck off." I turn away to go back inside but Alberto stops me, grabbing my elbow, turning me around. "Wait wait wait! You haven't even heard my proposal!"<p>

Yeah, he's right. I haven't heard it. Because I don't want to. I've heard enough proposals lately! And I sure as hell don't want to hear anything of the sort from Alberto who must be the dumbest and deafest son of a bitch I've had the displeasure of knowing! "You know what? You're right. I haven't heard shit that you've had to say because I don't give a damn, Alberto! I'm not selling my land and that's fucking FINAL! Comprende? You stupid FUCK!" God damn it I'm just so sick of this SHIT. Why can't the land developers just leave me the fuck alone!

"What about selling just a portion of it! Just an acre or two?"  
>Okay. That stops me. An acre or two wouldn't be so bad, and lord knows I could use the extra cash right now. "How many acres? Don't guess."<br>"Just two."  
>"Two?" I could live with that, I think. And it might get these assholes off my damn back. "I'll think about it."<br>"One time offer." Alberto says and purses his lips nervously for a moment. "I had to beg the others to accept it and their only condition was: one time offer."  
>Shit. Of course it is. "Which acres do they want?" I have so many and if they're trying to get something like <em>right<em> in the middle of it all well then, they're shit out of luck. Because I'm not selling that far in to my land, especially not to _them_.  
>"The southern corner, towards the very back of your property."<br>Huh? "_Where_?"  
>"I'll show you?"<p>

I scowl. Why don't I like the sound of this? "I don't know about _that_."  
>"I could drive us and make it quick." Alberto pushes and I know I have to agree or chance being out some big bucks that I could really use. Damn it. No, wait. Damn <em>him.<em> Damn Alberto! I fucking hate that son of a bitch! "It will only take a few minutes, Cody. I could show you-"  
>"Whatever." I cut him off and nod towards his car, hoping he'll get the point and lead the way. He does and I reluctantly follow behind him off the porch, scowling at his backside the entire time it takes us to walk to his suburban, even as he's kind enough to open my door for me, holding it as he waits for me to catch up. I keep my distance as I approach him, eying him hard because I simply just don't trust him. Alberto smiles at me, laughing softly. "Stop that. I'm not going to bite you."<br>I scowl harder. What about _kissing_? He had better not kiss me again either! "Just hurry up, Alberto, Randy's going to be home soon and if he catches you here he's going to beat that Spanish accent right out of your sorry hide."  
>"Understood." He smiles wider and I roll my eyes again, uncrossing my arms as I take hold of the door. I'll help myself in thank you very much! I don't need him to hold <em>shit<em> for me! Nor do I want him to!

"You're angry about that kiss, aren't you?" Alberto dares to ask me as he gets into the driver seat, smiling from ear to fucking _ear_. Hell yeah I'm angry. I'm fucking pissed! He had no fucking right! "Of course I'm angry. You're an _asshole_."  
>"But you <em>liked<em> my kiss." His eyebrows rise suggestively. "I made your day with that kiss, I know it...You're welcome."  
>"Fuck you." I snap viciously glaring Alberto down. "I ought to knock your fucking lights out."<br>"But you won't."  
>"Oh, I won't?" Dumbass! I've got no use for him and he has no fucking clue how close I am to tearing his fucking hands off! I WILL fuck him up if I have to!<br>"Nope. You liked it too much." He winks. "But don't worry, Cody. I won't tell your Randy and it can be our little secret."  
>My face tightens with disgust. I want to throw up Alberto is so arrogant! <em>Our little secret!<em> He's fucking crazy! Because I _didn't_ like his kiss! At least not the way I like Randy's kiss! Fuck, man, Alberto can't even compare to my Randy! "Randy KNOWS that you kissed me, _stupid_. And if you think you've impressed me enough to think you're better than him at _anything_ you're fucking insane, Alberto. INSANE. Because you could never be as good as he is. _EVER._" I shake my head at him before focusing my glare out the window. "So just fucking drive, Alberto, and make it **quick**."

I keep my eyes out the window and after we travel a bit down the road towards he highway Alberto turns down a rough, bumpy dirt road and eases his way along. But if he says anything I wasn't listening. Not if he's going to speak so arrogantly about kissing me when he shouldn't have.

After what seems like forever he finally pulls over, putting the massive suburban into park, "See? It's all the way back here." His hand comes up and he gestures to a few unattended acres I haven't had the resources to tend to for quite some time. It's a mess really, overgrown and incredibly tall with weeds. "It's so far out, Cody, and by the highway. You could sell it and never know the difference."

I nod slowly because he's right, I wouldn't notice and besides that I _could_ really use the money. If the offer is sufficient. "How much?"  
>"Fifteen thousand."<br>Woah. For two acres! That's a bit excessive! I frown skeptically, looking towards Alberto and notice he's _staring_ at me. "Fifteen thousand for just these two? Why so much?"  
>"Because we knew you wouldn't accept anything else and, to tempt you as much as we could without insulting you any further." He smiles, "It's a good compromise if you ask me."<br>"I **didn't**." I sneer. Compromise? COMPROMISE! I shouldn't have to compromise at all! It's MY fucking land!-! "Take me home." I hiss between gritted teeth. Alberto shouldn't have said that. "NOW." Deals OFF. And if Alberto doesn't take me back I'll walk, even in the rain!

"Please, Cody," Alberto suddenly leans over, grabbing my wrist, "Take the offer, I beg you! Please!"  
>I jerk away, scowling hard as I somehow resist the urge to punch him in the face. He doesn't need to be touching me god damn it! And no amount of begging he could do will make me change my mind! "<strong>No<strong>." I answer him firmly, "I don't want to sell anything to your company, not ever! Now take me home!" Alberto jerks back, looking me up and down in shock for a moment before sneering something under his breath and yanked the gear shift out of park. "You don't understand, Cody! You should just take the deal!"  
>"<em>Why<em>?" I scowl, "What's so god damn important about my land, huh! Why can't you people just leave me alone!"  
>"Damn it I'm trying to help you, Cody! Just take the deal!"<br>I throw myself against the door, my arms crossed hard. I should have fucking walked. "**NO**." I reject him again, just in time to see the roof of my house on the horizon. If he won't tell me what's so fucking important about my land then forget it! I won't even speak to him anymore! How about that! "You foolish boy!" Alberto fumes, his hands wrapped so tight around the steering wheel his knuckles are white, his cheeks flushed with anger. "Why are you so damn stubborn! You make everything so difficult!"  
>"Well excuse the fuck out of me!" I sneer, "I didn't know I was supposed to make everything easy for YOU. So sorry, Alberto, I'll surely do better next time, you stupid <em>bitch<em>." I unbuckle my seat belt before the car even comes to a stop in the driveway, readying myself to jump out the door just as soon as I can. Fuck this was a mistake. I can't believe I let myself consider selling my land to Alberto's company, what the hell was I thinking? Those monster killed my horses! They took everything from me and it's not enough! Greedy fuckers want more and I'm not going to make it easy for them, oh no, I'll fight these bastards every step of the way!

"Cody I-I don't mean to yell but you frustrate me like no other! I just want to help you and you refuse me every chance that you get!"  
>"What is this! A guilt thing?-! You feel guilty about killing my horses so you're trying to buy me off?-! Is that what this is? Because if it is you can fucking save it for some other fool-"<br>"You're no fool!" Alberto shouts over me, startling me slightly.  
>"Then why do you try to treat me like one?" I scowl at him, "You drop off a folder full of shit that you won't explain and then you show up again, <em>shouting<em> at me about how I need to take this _one time offer_ without telling me WHY! Well fuck THAT! And fuck YOU!" I start to turn to open the door, grabbing the handle hard.

Alberto lunges across the seat, grabbing my face, "You drive me fucking CRAZY!" He snarls as I fight his grip, yanking at his wrists but he digs his fingers in deeper, holding firm as he yanks me towards him. Our lips mash together and I instantly tighten up, denying him as I claw at his arms. Son of a bitch! Not this shit again! Alberto forces my head back, prying my lips open with his tongue. I recoil against the door, pushing at Alberto's chest with a furious, muffled snarl. Oh god this is bad! He won't stop! He's just about got me pinned and he won't let me go! I bring my legs up, forcing them between us, bending them just tight enough to squeeze them in against Alberto's torso. "_Stop_!" I manage to get out as I push him just far enough to break the kiss. But he forces his way right back, mashing my head against the window as he spears his tongue into my throat. Shit shit shit! This isn't working! I scramble to find the door handle behind me as his tongue invades my mouth and his hands drop and pin my hips down to the seat. I'm trapped! Alberto yanks my hips up, manhandling me in a way no one ever has as he avoids my blows and somehow manages to find his way between my legs, drawing me over his thighs with one last solid tug, my ass pressed to his rigid cock.

I gasp hard. I can't help it! He's-he's so big! Fuck fuck fuck! I can feel him! I can feel him! My stomach flips and I shove him with all my might with a deep scream, "Alberto! STOP!" He does. Kissing me at least. But his hands keep me on his cock as I squirm to get away, frantically searching for the door handle. I need to put some distance between us before the feeling of him touching me like this makes me do something stupid. Like kiss him back because fuck me if his cock doesn't feel incredible between my legs! And fuck if it doesn't make me hard! "Don't fight me, Cody. You want me!" Alberto's eyes are fierce, determined and full of passion as he swoops down and forces me into another kiss. But I find the handle, open it, and spill backwards out of the seat. I land on my ass, pain shooting up my back and arms as I land flat on the rocks of the drive way. Shit that fucking _hurt_. But no time to check for wounds, I have to get the fuck away from Alberto before he comes at me and rapes my ass right here in the mud and rocks! I scramble back until there's enough distance for me to get to my feet and I do without taking my eyes off of Alberto, still laying across the seat of his suburban. "Cody, don't go! I know about you and Randy and I won't tell, I promise! I just want to be with you!" What the fuck?-! He wants to do WHAT?-!

I shake my head wildly, whirling away towards the house. Alberto's out of his fucking mind! And he seriously just crossed the fucking line! "Stay the fuck away from me, Alberto! You hear me! Just stay away!" I leave him like he is, running inside the house and locking the door. Fuck me I never should have gone outside! Better yet I never should have gone for a ride with that stupid asshole! What the fuck was I _thinking_! I swear I need my fucking head checked right now! With shaky hands I pull the curtains back along the window beside the door, relieved to see the tail lights of Alberto's suburban disappearing through the thickening rain. But I still want to scream. Alberto may be gone but the effects of his kiss and touch still linger, putting my body in such a painful position and, my head too. Because how could I like what Alberto's done! How could I have become so aroused! I thought Randy was the only one I'd ever feel those kind of feelings for!

I tear myself away from the window, raking my hands through my hair as I stumble towards the stairs towards what used to be _my_ room. I need a shower. A shower and a fucking head examination because I must be fucking crazy. Or stupid. I'll go with stupid. Because I must be to have not seen that coming! I run upstairs, frantically turning on the shower and stripping out of my muddy clothes, completely ignoring my aching hard on. Fuck I wish Randy had been home for all of this. At least then I could have seen him beat the hell out of that stupid bitch Alberto. And maybe then I wouldn't have been attacked in Alberto's fucking car.

I shower fast and hard, scrubbing furiously until my skin can't take anymore and I get out, drying off and wrap a towel around my waist, thinking about Randy all the while. I feel better, but not much. Alberto will only come back and I'll have to tell Randy before he dose and that probably means I'm going to get humped against a window again. That's what Randy did _last time_ he found out that Alberto kissed me and this time that stupid bastard did _more_ than that so...Shit. Maybe I should wait until after the wedding to tell him? That's only a couple of days away and we don't need the extra stress. Or at least _I _don't need the extra stress. So Alberto kissing me can wait until after the wedding but the newest "one time offer" I'll go ahead and tell him, that much he needs to know now.

I hold the towel on my waist as I emerge from the bathroom and rush over to the closet, gasping in complete surprise as I find Randy standing inside, jumping back slightly. "Shit, dude! You fucking scared me! When did you get home?"  
>"About fifteen minutes ago. You were in the shower and I didn't want to bother you." He turns and the moment he sees me in just a towel his eyes grow wide and drop to the ground. "Forget your clothes again?"<br>"Yeah." I say as I step inside and start scanning our mass of hanging shirts that are finally organized, thanks to me! "Sorry, I'll just be a second."  
>"It's alright." Randy says but his voice sounds so strange right now. It's so soft, almost <em>timid<em> and so not his normal tone. "The tux's came in today." He smiles proudly. "What do you think?"

I can't help it, I hold my breath. What do I think? I think the wedding is in two days and Alberto kissed me again and, I'm not ready. _That's_ what I think. "They look great." I say about our plastic covered tuxedo. I can't tell Randy about the kiss, not yet. Now's not the right moment but I will. Soon...Maybe after the wedding. "Did you try yours on yet?"  
>"Nah they tailored it to fit me in the store so I should be all set."<br>"Same here."  
>"I guess we're ready then."<br>"Yep...guess so..." I say and glance back at him quickly and he avoids my gaze. Damn, it's becoming awkward on us again. I touch the plastic covered sleeves of my suit, pulling it upwards slightly to check it length. It looks perfect, but it's a good distraction. And maybe now's a good time to tell him about Alberto. "You'll never guess who you just missed."  
>"Oh yeah? Who?"<br>"That asshole Alberto. He came from trying to talk me into selling a couple of acres."  
>"Did he now?" Randy asks, his tone a mixture of curiosity and possible anger. "That all he wanted?"<br>"Nope." I scoff. "He _begged_." I roll my eyes with another scoff. "He's such a dumbass, Randy. I can't wait until those asshole finally get the hint and leave me the fuck alone."  
>"Me too." Randy agrees but his tone is absent, and very distant. "But why didn't you tell me he was here? I wanted to <em>speak<em> with him."  
>"Right. You wanted to "speak" to him. Like I believe <em>that<em>, Randy. You were going to knock him on his ass and _you_ know it."  
>"Perhaps." Randy grumbles and I can't help but chuckle even though I can't seem to take my eyes off my tuxedo.<p>

"No, no "perhaps", Randy, I was preventing a useless fight with an idiot who will go away on his own in time. There was no need to let you kick his ass. Especially so close to the wedding because what if he had given you a black eye, or something? You'd be a mess and how could we take the pictures and what not with you all fucked up?"  
>"I guess we couldn't..." Randy laughs softly, "You made the right choice."<br>"I know." I smile back at him for a moment, "But I promise, next time he stops but I'll just run inside and get you so you can "speak" with him."  
>"Aw, thanks, Codes," Randy says jokingly, "You're always thinking of me!"<p>

I swallow hard at that, growing serious probably too quickly but, Randy doesn't know how right he is about that. I am always thinking about him. Because I love him. Because deep down I really hope that one day he might say he loves me too. And I know that's stupid but I'd be lying to myself if I denied that subconsciously I've been waiting to hear those words from him for _years_. I just, didn't want to accept it and kept pushing it away, stuffing it down inside and concentrated on my work. But my work is gone now. And Randy's all I have left.

"Hey...Are you _sure_ that you're ready?" Randy's voice is soft, almost timid. I nod slowly, staring at my tux because I'm afraid to look anywhere else. I'm _not_ ready but, I will be by the time I need to be. I hope. I mean it's a lot to get used to and although our marriage is fake my feelings for him _are not_. I'm about to marry the love of my life and he doesn't even know that I love him...That's just so fucked up so of course I'm nervous. Of course I'm scared! "Cody?" Randy whispers too soft but he's moved, standing directly behind me, speaking into my ear. It makes my stomach anxiously flip. "Do you still _want_ to marry me?"

_What_. "Of course I do." I say quickly but keep my voice soft, "How could you even ask me that? I've been good about all of this recently, haven't I?" I've been _so_ good, I swear it. I haven't tensed or panicked _once_ in front of Mr. Springfield since his first visit. So what gives? What's this sudden doubt Randy seems to have? Does he-Does he not want to go through with it now?  
>"Yes...Yes you've been amazing, Cody...I don't even know how to thank you for all that you've done."<br>"Then what's that all about? You doubting me now?" I turn around to face him. I have to. I have to or I think my heart is going to break. Oh god why is he suddenly doubting me like this? I look him in the eyes and almost gasp. There's not an ounce of doubt in them but something else. Something tender. Something _intimate_.

"I'm not doubting you. I was just making sure that you still _wanted_ to, not if you would do it or not."  
>"Yeah well, I want to, okay? I'm not about to let you get deported." I shake my head but our eyes are locked and I can't help but notice him moving closer, inching his way towards me, his voice growing softer and softer. "You don't know how much that means to me but...I want to hear you <em>say it<em>."  
>I frown, "Say what?"<br>"That, you do."

I search his eyes because I'm so lost right now. Why does he need me to say it so badly? His eyes are so calm right now, his blue orbs almost completely hidden beneath heavy lids that hide too much, and something suddenly swells in my stomach. I swallow hard as it explodes throughout my body, washing over my brain and wiping out everything but us. Us inside the closet, standing so close our chests bump as I take a deep breath, shaking as I let it out. I know. I have to say it. I have to say the words that he needs to hear. But they're stuck in my head, hanging on the tip of my tongue as I gaze into Randy's eyes. Something changed. I can see it. "_I do_." I break through and whisper and almost instantly Randy's hand shoots up, grasping the side of my neck, craning my head back and I let him. "Say it again." Randy ask as he sucks in a sharp breath, his lips hover over mine and I'm already shuddering and the words leave my mouth before I know it. "_I do_." My arms come up on their own accord, wrapping around Randy's torso as I nod and say it again because I know he needs to hear it and, I know he'll kiss me if I do. "_I do_." Randy's fingers tighten around my neck, curling into my skin and sending hard shivers down my spine as our lips finally meet. My heart is pounding. Randy's tongue swipes my lips and I let him in. Of course I do.

Our tongues meet and even though we've done this before it feels new, exciting, invigorating. I cling to him, afraid to kiss him back like I want to for only a moment before I completely lose the battle and thrust my tongue into his mouth. He had better not be fucking with him right now. I swear to God I'll kick his fucking ass if he is because this is no fucking joke. I love him. I love him so fucking _hard_. I kiss him harder, shaking uncontrollably against him as he pulls us so close my chest aches, pressed bare to his. I'm giving in, I can feel it. All Randy has to do is lead the way and I'll follow him to the bed.

I dare to let out a oft moan and I'm rewarded with Randy's arms closing around me, hugging me close as we kiss harder and harder, the passion exploding around us as we struggle to keep our footing. Suddenly I can't seem to stand.

We fall into our clothes, making a ruckus and knocking hangers off and over the railings but we don't care.

Suddenly and all too soon Randy pulls us out of the clothes, guiding us out of the closet, turning us with one move towards the door. He pushes us through it, our mouths never parting as we pant and kiss as hard as we can and he doesn't stop pushing. We end up on the bed, my legs bumping against the edges until I fall and Randy goes with me, landing over me just enough. Oh god. Yes! I can't believe this is happening! Randy's kissing me! He really kissing me! And we're on the bed! The fuckin' bed! I clutch him hard. I'm not letting him go this time. I won't let him fade away like he did in the dream, even if it means I have to hold him down he's not going _anywhere_!

I press a harder kiss into the mix because I need to, writhing anxiously as I bite back a whine. Randy's lips are so perfect and warm, his tongue hot and wet but graceful even with the passion trying to choke us as we kiss and touch until he's grinding me into the bed, our mouths parting briefly to catch good breath. My body is one fire like never before, a tingle burning in my toes all the way to my ears as my muscles twitch and spasm with need. I _need_ him. Oh god I need him so bad it hurts! I lift my hips, rutting against him as Randy grinds down on me, the hard friction of his jeans and the edges of the towels already rubbing my dick raw but fuck it feels incredible. HE feels incredible; so hot and soft against my chest and stomach and oh my god he smells so fucking good! Oh god I can't take this! I need him so bad! The towel comes loose and starts to fall but I let it go, clutching handfuls of his strong, solid back as he suddenly lifts us and forces us further across the bed, the sheets riding up round us and making quite the mess as pillows fall and tumble to the floor. My towel is gone. I'm naked. He should join me.

I don't want to go too fast but I can't stop my hands as they roam over his back, growing closer and closer to the tight waist band of his jeans that I will soon help him get rid of. Randy's hands travel down my sides, making my muscles twitch and dance beneath his fingers as I shake and writhe beneath his wonderful touch. My cock throbs and I can't stop my legs from coming up and spreading wide around him, gasping deep as Randy grinds against my spread groin. We're humping again, I know. But my hands have found their way to his zipper and I've free him, somewhat. His jeans are open and he's out but he could _lose_ the jeans all together. Speaking of which...

I fumble my way along the waist band to his hips, grabbing handfuls and yanking his jeans down to his ass, moaning as Randy kisses me harder. Apparently I'm _not_ moving too fast. Go me! I yank on his pants again but they're stuck, hung up on his ass. Fuck. I try again, groaning as I fail once more and give up and let my hands return to his back. I'll regroup for a moment and then, round two and then those bitches are coming OFF.

I arch against him and the moment my hands claw into his back something's ringing, I hear it, Randy's jeans also vibrating between us and drawing me out of our euphoric daze long enough for me to figure out that it's Randy's phone before I'm sucked back in. But Randy's movements slow and before I know it on the third ring his hand leaves my side and disappears into his pocket.

I blink hard, utterly breathless and _stunned_ as I watch him turn away above me. No. No he's not going to- "Hey,-hey, man, what's up?" He says into the phone and get's up without so much as another glance in my direction, stumbling away from me and the bed as I stare wide eyed, my jaw dropping. I can't believe it. He answered his phone! We were on the verge of finally _being_ together and he answers his fucking PHONE! What the fuck?-!

I gasp hard. Oh god this had better not be like when he humped me against the window. I'll just crumble if he comes to me with that "I got carried away" bullshit again! I jerk up on my elbows, watching in horror as Randy rushes from the room with his damn cell phone pressed to his ear. "Randy?" I dare to call, watching the door as I sit up. What the fuck he's not coming back? "Randy!" I shout for him and hear only my voice echoing throughout the room. Oh-oh god! "Randy!-!"

My heart aches harder and harder with each passing second that Randy doesn't return, swallowing hard as I stare at the empty doorway. He-he's gone. He-he left and I-I. Oh god.

I scramble off my back, leaping from the bed in a desperate search for clothing. I have to get out of here. I-I can't do this anymore! He went too far this time! My heads spins, replying the last few minutes as I cringe and ache with shame as I find my way back to the closet. Oh god I was trying so hard to get his pants off and touching him everywhere like a fucking idiot! He doesn't want to be with me! He thought he did but apparently that thought passed and he's too chicken shit to tell me!

As quickly as I can I find a pair of jeans and a black shirt, dressing fast, heading down the stairs before I've even finished pulling my shirt over my head. I have to. I can't stand to be here with him knowing he's made a fool out of me for another second! I run out the door, leaping off the porch and skid over to my truck through the rain. Oh god why did he fucking DO this! To tease me? To torture me and make me feel like a fucking fool?-! I scramble to get the keys into the ignition, tears streaking down my cheeks. He's gone too far this time. I'll never forgive him for this! He's embarrassed me so bad, there are no words! I'm so crushed and pissed that I can't barely breathe passed either. The rain is heavy but my heart is heavier as it sinks into my stomach, aching violently and making my eyes sting with angry tears. The weather is shit and I shouldn't be driving in it but fuck it, I need a good drink and to be as far away from home and Randy as I can get.

I peel out against the rocky driveway and heavy rain, swerving like crazy onto the dirt road towards town. But I don't care, I'm too angry, too humiliated and devastated to think beyond putting some distance between us. My chest is so tight with anguish, my teeth gritted with rage as I struggle with both emotions. I should have known he was going to pull something like this. I should have _known_ he was going to take things too far and get my hopes up. Because Randy's not gay. **I AM**. And he's fucking NOT. He's just a sexually confused _coward._ And after five years I think I'm finally going to accept that he will never change. Randy will never say that he loves me and he'll never be mine. It hurts. But I know now, after tonight that, it's **true**. Randy will never love me the way I love him. He will never want me the same way that I want him. And that's just another blow to the one of many that just keep coming. I swear I should just give up and sell my land and give all my money to my brother and join my horses. I might as well. Because once Randy's gone no one's going to need me. And since he'll be done with me Randy won't miss me so no one will. There's no one left to miss the sad old me who makes everything so damn difficult for everyone.

I reach over and snap the radio on, blasting something heavy and loud that I don't know the name to. Fuck I need a drink and I can't get to town fast enough as I speed down he muddy dirt road towards the highway. Fucking rain. Fucking life. Fucking RANDY.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

***Lyrics from the song "Roses" belong to Silverchair, just borrowing them ;)*  
><strong>

I make it to the bar in record time and take my usual spot at the end, tucked in the corner and safe from everyone. Hopefully. Sometimes I get a woman hitting on me or one time even a guy that at the time freaked me out but now I kind of wish I'd kept his number. That sounds, bitter, I know. But I am fucking _bitter_. Randy fucking left me for a fucking phone call and didn't even have the balls to _look_ at me before he fucking bailed. Asshole. Fucking coward! I can't believe he fucking did this! I can't believe he made such a fucking fool out of me and made me stupid enough to think that we could really be together. Fuck him! I don't think I've ever been this angry with him before because just the thought of seeing him right now makes me want to scream; my rage has never gone this deep. Randy's hurt me before but nothing like this. Nothing so deep and devastating.

I drink my first beer in three long pulls and signal for another, nodding to the bar tender as he slides another cold bottle my way. I light a smoke, my hands still shaking but the alcohol will take care of that in a moment. I take a long pull from the cold bottle just in time for the bartender to slide a nice double shot of Jack Daniels my way. Fuck it's good to have a tab sometimes. Because the bar tender fucking _knows_ you, you know? He can tell exactly what you need to drink just by your mood. I nod another thanks and throw the shot back. Good call on the Jack. I shiver as the liquor warms my stomach. Fuck yeah that's good shit. I chase it with another long pull from my beer as my muscles twitch with the alcohol coursing through my body. Yeah. I'm a light weight, and at times like this I'm thankful for that because I'm already buzzing thank you very much. And after this next beer I'll be pleasantly numb. Which I fucking need because I'm about to go insane if I can't block out the feeling of Randy's touch. Fuck I can still feel him every where we touched and I can't go another minute like this. I have to make it stop and I have to get his taste out of my mouth or I swear I'll fucking loose it.

I silence my thoughts of Randy with two more bottles, slowing down on the second when the room starts to tilt slightly. "Cody?" Awww, god damn it! "Alberto?-!" I squint through my drunkenness and find him standing incredibly close and can't help the laugh that escapes me. Of course it's Alberto, he probably followed me here!  
>"Si, mi amour. But are you alright?"<br>"Yep." I snip even though it's none of his fucking business and, what the fuck? Mi amore? Seriously?  
>"Is this seat beside you taken?"<br>"Nope." Although I wish it was!  
>"Good. I'll join you then."<br>"Whatever, Alberto, I don't give a shit." I roll my eyes and laugh again, swiping my beer from the bar and take a long pull to finish it off, slamming it down and hold my hand up to the bar tender as he signals to bring me another. I'm done. I'm drunk and even more miserable than when I first came in here a couple of hours ago. And now Alberto is here to make it worse. _Hurray_.

"I apologize about earlier." Alberto says, leaning over but careful not to get too close. "My behavior was appalling."  
>"Ughhhh!" I groan loud and drunkenly and cut him off. "I don't caaaaare, Alberto, okay? I just want to sit here and be drunk, alright? So you and your hair gel can just go back from where you came."<br>"No, I wish to stay. And I promise that if you let me I won't speak a single word about any proposal or deal, comprende? I just wish to sit here with you."  
>"<em>Why<em>?" I grumble, "I drive you crazy, don't I? Why would you want to sit with _me_?" Could _someone_ in my life start making sense please? Just one!  
>"I think you misunderstood." Alberto moves closer, his voice deepening, his accent incredibly thick and penetrating as he gazes at me with soft, pleading brown eyes. "I love the many ways you drive me crazy, not hate them. This is why I find it impossible to stay away from you, even when you're shouting at me and calling me <em>stupid.<em>"  
>What is this? He wants to fucking date me or something? Whatever. I'm too drunk for this. "Fine whatever." I wave him off and signal the bar tender for one last drink. I thought I was finished but fuck it, I'll sleep it off in the truck. And I so don't care about Alberto right now. Or his reasons. Or his confessions. I just straight up don't care. I'm too damn numb. Thanks to Randy I don't feel a fucking thing but the agonizing hurt I've covered up with alcohol. Well, most of it. The rest is still burning in the pit of my stomach along with the fact that I know that eventually I will have to go home and face him. But I'm far from that and my stool at the bar is still quite comfortable, even though the dumbest man in the world is sitting next to me. Alberto is a good looking man though, and if he hadn't been harassing me for a year about buying my land I would probably fuck him and like it. Well, he'd fuck <em>me<em> but that's not relevant now is it? Seeing as how I hate that stupid _bitch_.

"Listen, this was fun and alllll _but_, I'm going to go somewhere else that's not by _you_." I snatch my beer up with a smirk, sliding off the stool, weaving as the world tilts for a few seconds and stops. "See you later, _Berto_." Ditched the dummy time! I take a step to leave, raising my beer to my lips.

"Why do you run from me, Cody?" Alberto leans somewhat off his stool and stops me as he blocks me from leaving. "I know that what you and Randy's engagement was only to save your Randy from deportation so you **could** be mine. You wouldn't have to pretend with me-"  
>"How the fuck would you know something like that?" I ask and try not to give anything away but I don't hold out much hope. I'm way too drunk for this shit. "Have you been speaking to that pathetic old bastard Mr. Springfield?"<br>"Si. But even if he had not told me I already knew it wasn't true. But I said nothing. _Nothing_, Cody. Because I think it's so great what you are doing for your friend. But what about _you_, hm? What about _Cody_ who has to give the next year of his life away when he's already lost so much-"  
>"Stop-"<br>"No, I want an answer! Tell me why you can't be with me! Tell me why you won't even give it a chance when I would keep your secret!"  
>"There <em>is<em> no secret. I love Randy and I'm _marrying_ him-"  
>"Cody, you insult me! You lie as if I haven't been around the two of you long enough to see that your love in unrequited! Your Randy is in love with a woman, I've seen so myself!"<p>

I almost jerk away but I'm too drunk and only my head drops down. Fuck me I'm too drunk for this. I can't even think of a good response to that because as far as I know, Randy's still in love with Samantha and not ME. Randy's never told me any different. He's just humped me against a window and got me naked on my bed which apparently means **nothing**. "You see?" Albert says as he grabs my shoulder and I would slap him away but he helps steady me on my feet so, I let him. I let him touch me but I don't look at him. "Cody, I _know_ the truth about you and your Randy, I _know_ you are trying to save him from deportation and that's a wonderful thing for you to do, Cody, you're so giving! But when is it your turn to get something in return? When do YOU get what YOU want?"  
>"Even if what you're saying is true what makes you think YOU are what I want?"<br>"I don't think that. I _want_ you to think that. I _want_ you to want ME, Cody, because you would be happy with a man like me. And you know it."

I almost jerk away again, my heart suddenly aching over the numbness that had settled in several beers ago. I don't know if I'd be _happy_ with Alberto but suddenly the idea of being with a man who wants me as badly as Alberto seems to doesn't sound like such a bad thing. Alberto's an asshole but, he's handsome, rich, and despite the several times I've thought he was the dumbest man on earth Alberto is actually pretty intelligent. So really, why not just, go for it? Randy doesn't want me and I'll be beyond miserable for a whole year while we wait for our marriage to end so Randy can leave with Samantha and Alberto is willing to keep our secret anyway so...Why not? Why not just fuck Alberto and get something that I want since everyone around me seems to get what THEY want? Because damn it Alberto is right when will it be MY turn? When will **I** get what I want? _Never_. I _never_ get what I want.

Alberto slips off his stool, pulling me close, putting me against his chest. His hand leaves my shoulder and curls carefully under my chin, lifting my head upwards but I close my eyes, refusing to let him see any emotion. There's doubt there, I just know it, and that's all Alberto needs. "Cody..." His voice is soft and his accent so thick, making my name rumble deep in his chest. It makes me shiver. "_What?_"  
>"Look at me, benito, open your eyes."<br>I shake my head, removing it from his hand and refusing to open my eyes when I know the second I do I'll be face to face with the same man I've been trying to get away from for the past year and I'm just too damn drunk to trust myself right now. Way too drunk. "No," I tell him, "Just leave me alone-"  
>"I have done that and you are still miserable." Alberto stops me. "At least with me you have a chance to feel something other than agony as everything around you slowly but surely goes away. But I won't, and I've proven that time and time again."<br>Yeah, that's true, but, "You killed my horses." I cringe, "I know it was you-"  
>"It <strong>wasn't<strong>." Alberto vehemently denies, "I tried to stop my partners from going to the stables that night but they wouldn't listen and I'm sorry but I was outnumbered. I was the only voice of reason and even threatening them with the police changed _nothing_. They wouldn't listen and it was no match, three against one and I couldn't stop them. My _partners_ poisoned your horses and I tried to save them but by the time I got there it was too late so don't you blame me for that, Cody. Because I tried to help you and your horses, I really did."  
>"Is that what the file is all about?" Not that I believe Alberto but okay, maybe I do a little. I mean he's been the only one out of his partners to be as nice to me as he has over the last year and he's even here now, trying to convince me to be with him because he wants me. I should at least give him a chance right? Or is that the alcohol talking?<p>

"No, the file is the results of a dig test, Cody. Your land has precious material that my partners want and I'm no scientist but from what I could gather from the results is that your land could be worth quite a lot of money. I want to but I could not take the chance of finding out what exactly because if my partners found out that I'd even given that file to you then, well,...they just might poison me too and then I could not help you at all. And that just wasn't acceptable."

I swallow hard, letting my eyes open just slightly as I stare at the ground. Why does Alberto even care about me so damn much? Why do all this for me when I've been down right horrible to him and called him stupid for the past year? It just doesn't make sense. I sway, my head feeling light as our eyes meet. Alberto's lips spread into a small smile, his brown eyes glimmering beautifully in the dim lighting of the smoke-filled bar air. "What are you doing in town by yourself this late anyway, Benito? Where is your Randy? Is he not here to take you home?"  
>"I don't <em>want<em> to go home." I blurt out, frowning as I think of Randy and the smile leaves Alberto's face, "Why not?"  
>I won't answer that. Because it's none of Alberto's business and damn it I don't want to talk about this shit. I came here to get drunk enough to erase tonight, not relive it at the bar with a guy I've been trying to get rid of for the past <em>year<em>. "Because." I avoid his gaze because I know he'll find the doubt I'm so desperately trying to hide. "I can go into town by myself and I don't need Randy to hold my hand if I choose to stay out late and drink too much."  
>"Oh...So how are going to get home?"<br>"I'll sleep it off in my truck."  
>"Your Randy won't come for you?"<br>"_No." _God damn it, "And stop calling him my Randy!" I spew viciously before I can stop myself and my eyes grow wide. Shit. I shouldn't have said that and by the look on Alberto's face I instantly know that I fucked up. Because Alberto smiles and nods, his eyes confident as he seems to back off. "Sorry, force of habit, benito. I did not mean to upset you."  
>"Whatever." More bitterness and Alberto's smile widens. He knows he's right and I'm <em>not<em> helping but I cant stop myself. I'm too drunk and angry. And what can I say I guess Alberto caught me at the right time...

I look away, my tongue pressed to the back of my teeth. I don't know why I haven't walked away yet, isn't that what I was planning on doing? Fucking Alberto. Now I think I'm just a bit too tipsy to make the walk from the bar to my truck so either I stumble away and Alberto will insist upon helping me out or? I stay right here.

I plop down on the stool and almost weave too far back and catch myself with a hand on the bars edge before I fall. Shit. Easy now. Don't want to fall on my ass in front of everyone here now do I?

Alberto stares at me just shaking his head. I roll my eyes behind my drink, finishing of yet another but don't have to ask for more as the bar tender has already brought me a nice shot of Jack Daniels that I don't recall asking for. But whatever, I toss it back and slam the small glass onto the counter. Fuck that was good. I sway as I savor the taste, almost closing my eyes and forgetting about Alberto as I enjoy the strong, thick liquor warming and coating my stomach. I don't care if I'm being rude, I'm purposely ignoring him. Because I don't want to think about Randy right now and Alberto just keeps bring him up. Idiot. I don't want to think about how much I love a man who just doesn't love me back and I sure as hell don't want to think about what he did to me earlier so talking about him is out of the fucking question. I just want to drink. I just want to get _drunk_. Well, _drunker_. I mean I'm pretty drunk but I could do better because fuck me if Alberto doesn't smell so fucking _good_ right now. Like, I think he's wearing one of my favorite cologne's type of good. I lean over to get a whiff. Yep. Drak Noir which I buy for Randy every Christmas because I love the smell so much, especially right after Randy's showered and he opens the bathroom door and the steam billows out with the smell of his aftershave and the Drak Noir. Just the thought is enough to make me shudder.

I clutch my beer, desperately trying to push Randy from my mind but fail over and over, making my heart ache harder and harder each time...Fuck I would give anything to still be in bed with him right now. I'd give everything to be wrapped in his arms, kissing him, holding him, riding him for the first time and loving every second of it...

"Cody?"  
>I sigh, "What now, Alberto? Can't you see that I just want to be left alone?"<br>"No because you _don't_ want to be left alone, benito. That's why you didn't leave before you were not able to."  
>Hmp. Lucky guess. "Whatever." I dismiss him again with a wave of my hand, "Believe what you want, Alberto, because I don't give a fuck."<br>"Yes you do." Alberto's voice hisses in my ear and seems awfully closer than it was before. I turn my head to look at him but his hand is already under my chin, pulling it up so our eyes meet but I can barely see him. Everything's so hazy yet, the lights are so bright, almost blinding me. "I've had enough of your "whatever's" tonight! You don't have to act this way with me and I've done everything I can to show you that! So tell me, what will it take to make you mine, Cody? What!" I blink rapidly as my vision blurs and my head, fuck it feels so light. That last shot really fucked me. Wait. No. Randy really fucked me. He did this to me and _he_ crushed me. Selfish prick. This whole marriage thing has been about him and getting what _he_ wants and he "tried" to be more considerate of me but tonight proved that he is just incapable of doing so. Randy is incapable of keeping himself under control when he's feeling "curious" well, I'll be damned if I'm going to be his fucking test dummy. I may be _a_ dummy but I'm not his. Not anymore. And fuck I have no idea what to say to Alberto. Really, no fucking clue. "I-" I get out but my mouth closes and it takes everything in me not to sway on my seat. Thank god Alberto is holding me up, other wise I'd be on the floor! "I-I-" I try again but this time Alberto stops me by suddenly yanking me into his body by my chin and torso, his strong arm snapping and curling around me like a snake attacking it's pray. He kisses me and I let him, biting back a gasp as his tongue slips into my mouth. It's nice. Hot, wet, skilled as it flicks and glides against mine. But still nothing like Randy...

I wrap my arm around Alberto's neck, hanging on him as he kisses me and I fucking LET him. Alberto wants me so bad I can feel it in his lips, his tongue, his soothing, devouring kiss that seems to have no end. Usually I'm knocking him away from me by now but fuck THAT. This feels good, even if it is Alberto! He's a good kisser and I'm just drunk enough to want more. But Alberto abruptly pulls away. Damn.

"You wish to get out of this place with me?"

Huh? I blink, my slow drunken mind taking a moment to come up with a response. I _smirk_. "Yeah." I reply and surprise him, Alberto's head jerking back, shocked by my eagerness. He ain't seen nothing yet. I tighten my arm around his neck, pushing our bodies that much closer as I give the stunned idiot a brief nod. "Yeah, I do. Let's go." FUCK Randy. He doesn't want me and I'm not going to stay celibate for another whole year just to prove that we're a real married couple, not anymore. No I'm going to let Alberto take me to his car and fuck my brains out because I fucking _want_ to. And if Randy doesn't want me the same way then he has no right to tell me how to live my life and he sure as hell isn't allowed to be angry about it either! This is my life! Not his!

* * *

><p>"I-I fucked up." I say weakly into my phone, my chest tight and my heart aching. I called Samantha the moment Cody drove off and after she managed to get me to calm down enough to make sense I finally told her what I had done. No surprise she was quiet for a long while, sighing over and over as if she was rubbing her temple or shaking her head over and over. I don't blame her.<br>"Yeah, you did. And you had better find him, Randy. Or he's never going to forgive you for this."  
>"Fuck!" Sam's right. Of course she's right. I left Cody upstairs because I was afraid and lost my courage at the last second and took off like the coward that I am. I would hate me too if I was Cody. Hell I hate myself and enough for the both of us for running out on him like that because I may have just ruined and completely destroyed the only relationship I've ever truly treasured, and I broke the heart of the only person I've ever truly loved. Because I'm a fucking <em>coward<em>. Sam is being nice about it but that's what I am. A coward.

"Where is he now?"  
>"In town at the bar probably." I hope. Otherwise I don't know where in the hell he ran off to. I just hope he was being careful, the weather is shit. But so am I.<br>"Ugh." Sam sighs into the phone, "I'll run by the bar and see if he's there-"  
>"No. No don't do that. I want to talk to him and if he knew I sent you he'd be even more pissed off and probably cause a scene if he's drunk and-"<br>"Alright, alright point taken, I won't go talk to him for you."  
>"Thank you."<br>"But if I'm not going to go save your ass _you_ had better or you can pack your bags tomorrow because you're going back to Canada."  
>"I know, I will. I'm going to fix this I just...Fuck I don't know how yet but I <em>will<em>. I just need to let him blow off some steam and when he gets home we'll talk." I want to go after him but if I run up to town now he'll be even more pissed off than he already is because I didn't give him his space. And I know that's what Cody wants because I know him, he _always_ runs to town when he wants to blow off some steam. And it's typically at the fucking _bar_.

"I don't know how you can fix this, Randy, you really messed up this time and Cody was already _so_ weary of being around you feeling the way he does. I mean you _do_ realize that he probably feels as if you don't love him the same way he does you because you answered your stupid fucking _phone_?"  
>"Yes I-I know but I had to answer the phone, Samantha, I thought my friend would have had some information on that damn file I told you about and yes, I planned it because I <em>knew<em> I was going to take things too far again and jump him like I did. I'm not proud of what I did and I _hate_ that it hurt him. But damn it this is new for me too! I'm in love with my best friend and I can't just jump into bed with him, alright? I wanted to tell him so many things and I chickened out and kissed him first. _That's_ where I fucked up Samantha. I never should have kissed him until I told him how I felt."  
>"Okay...And, why is that? Sometimes actions speak louder than words, Randy, and once you started with him you shouldn't have stopped. You should have just let your phone ring or at least told Cody how important the call was but you just ran out of there like an idiot because, <em>you answered you fucking <em>_**phone.**_"

Damn it. She's right. Again. I should have left my phone downstairs like I usually do but I was waiting for a call from my friend and it _was_ him that called but, I did it on purpose. I knew he would call and kept my phone with me knowing so. And I also knew this when I kissed Cody and even when I took Cody to our bed because I AM a fucking _idiot_. Because I'm so mixed up about my feelings for Cody and that's pathetic, I know. And also, yeah, we were about to _fuck_ and I wanted to and I really wanted it to be good for us but, all I know is to fuck him in the ass. That's not acceptable for our first time right? I should at least know what I'm doing before I go and push us towards the bed like I did. But to put it simply, we weren't ready. I wasn't ready. I should have just kissed him and left it at that but again I let myself get lost in the moment only this time I didn't hump him against the window, I almost fucked him and backed off at the last second. Fuck I just wanted to do this _right._ There was so much I wanted to say to him that I skipped and tried to rush us into bed because again, I'm a coward. If I'd been brave enough I could have told Cody how I felt _before_ I pushed him onto the bed and only after that would I have been confident enough to be with Cody. Call me insecure or crazy I don't give a fuck, because I didn't want to jump into fucking and save the talking for later because we're about to get **married** for fucks sake. We can't just go ahead and fuck because we got caught up in the moment because that means I've already taken the cowards way out. I would have used my dick to speak for me and god damn it I'm sick of doing that. It's time I started using my words. And yes, I fucked up leaving Cody upstairs and I have no excuse for that. I was afraid, lost my confidence, and I did it on purpose. No excuses. Just regrets. I never wanted to hurt Cody and it seems I've been doing nothing but _that_ since I asked him to go along with this crazy ass plan Sam and I came up with. And now I've hurt him even _more_ by ditching him upstairs when I was about to not only take our friendship in a whole new direction but also take Cody's virginity. _Me_. And that's another thing because **I'm** about to take his virginity after five years of torturing him about it and making fun of him being _afraid._ **I'm** going to be the one Cody finally gives himself to and if he wasn't my friend I'd have jumped right on that (and if he was a woman and I was still oblivious) but he IS my best friend. I can't just take his virginity in the heat of the moment! That's NOT how we're going to start this off! And I know that if I tell him this he'll understand exactly what I mean because we've gone too long not saying all the things we should have said and we owe to each other to fucking say them!

"Hey I better let you go." I tell Sam because now's my chance. I could call Cody and get him to come back. "I'm going to call Cody and try to get him to come home so we can talk."  
>"Good idea, call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes." We hang up and I instantly dial Cody's number, already pacing at the bottom of the stairs by the front door as the line finally starts to ring...<p>

"_Drained as drained can be. Life is gone from me. Drained if drained is free. If only I could breathe...Smelling dead roses._" Shit. I know that song. My head jerks up, following it as I rush into the living room, the sound growing louder. "..._Take your mind with you. There's no room for two. I can't handle both. Handle both of you_-" Fuck. It's my ring tone. My heart sinks as I let my hand with my phone drop to my side, my eyes frozen on something on the coffee table. The one thing that could get him to come home. Cody's phone.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I'm home. Well, in the driveway sitting with Alberto but, it's my driveway and I didn't drive my drunk ass home so all is well. Sort of, I still have Randy to worry about. Not that I ever stopped but now I have to deal with him in the flesh and as soon as I have the courage to I'll go inside and do just that. I'll tell him what a coward he is and go straight to bed. Because I need to sleep now. And we can fight later when I'm not drunk and smelling of Alberto.

Alberto was courteous enough to drive me home instead of letting me sleep in my truck and I'm very thankful for that but it's also kind of awkward between us now. We've been silent for a while and I thought that once we reached my house that he would say something but Alberto is really quiet, putting the massive suburban into park and letting us just, sit there. I could say something. But what? After what we just did I don't really know what to say. It was a first for me, what we did, but that's not what's brought on this tension. That's not what caused us to avoid eye contact as Alberto drove me home and even now as we sit in the driveway. I could just get out and leave, I know, but that just doesn't seem right. I should say something shouldn't I? Like thank you or it was fun and I liked it? No, no that's not right either. It should have more to it than that like, he's a really nice guy and he was really good to me tonight but we just weren't mean to be. Yeah, something like that.

I look over at him, my hands fidgeting nervously in my lap. "Listen I'm sorry that I-"  
>"No, no hey it's alright, Cody, I understand." Alberto stops me, turning with a warm smile I really wasn't expecting. "You don't have to explain."<br>I don't? "But I-I just feel so bad that I let us do that when I clearly-"  
>"Cody, it's <em>okay<em>, benito, I understand. You needn't explain the actions of love."

I can't help but flinch. Love. Fucking sucks. You try to ignore it, you try to make it go away and to not let it keep you from doing things to help you get over it but no matter what you do or how hard you try it's always there. Eating at you, making you miserable and hijacking your brain so that you can only think of the one person your heart truly belongs to, even if they don't know it. Or in my case even if they do and run out on you like a cowardice dog. Poor Alberto though, he really does like me but even with how angry I am with Randy that doesn't change how much I'm in love with that man and Alberto just can't compete with Randy. He can't and he won't and seeing as how I can't go a whole minute without thinking about Randy any effort would be useless. I can't even pretend that I don't love Randy, not even for a second. I may have done things with Alberto tonight but as I closed my eyes I saw Randy, I dreamed of him and somehow Alberto figured it out and...Here we are, sitting in my driveway. I'm still somewhat drunk and I feel terrible about this, I really do. I didn't mean to lead Alberto on only to pull away from him at the last second because he just wasn't who I needed him to be. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed what we did but something tells me that I would have enjoyed it more if I had done those things with _Randy_ and so does Alberto. He tried to steal my heart, he told me this, but how could he when I've already given it to Randy?

He made a really good point. Randy has my heart, even if he is a cowardice bastard who keeps getting my hopes up only to crush them over and over. Yes, even then.

"I hope you and him can work things out, Cody, I really do. I want you to be happy and if can do that for you then I wish you all the luck in the world." Alberto is such a great guy now that I've had the chance to get to know him better. In fact he's a very gentle, very caring individual that wouldn't let me make an even bigger mistake than I already had and even though that meant he didn't get what _he_ wanted he's still a complete gentleman about it. I can't help but lean over and pull him into a hug, squeezing hard in hopes that he'll return the favor. He does, instantly, and I can't help but press my face into his neck. "Thank you, Alberto." It's all I can think to say as I hug him tight, shaking a little at first because a part of me is so frustrated that I just want to scream. But Alberto holds me tight, stroking my back even with our awkward angle until I pull back slightly and kiss him on the cheek. I wish I could be the one for him after the softer side he showed me tonight but what can I do? I'm in love with Randy and I have been for such a long time that I wouldn't even know how to love someone else. At least not yet. Not now. And maybe not even after Randy leaves.

"I better go..." My head is still pretty light from the booze and the more I come down from it the more tired I become so I'd really just like to get to bed. Maybe take a shower first though.  
>"Wait?" Alberto touches the back of my neck, eying my lips and I don't mind him inching closer. "One last kiss?" Alberto is so polite in his request that I can't help but nod slowly and Alberto is still gentle as he presses his mouth to mine and we kiss slow; deep but still slow and sensual and I can tell he's savoring every second of me that he can get. And I can tell that it hurts him more than he'll ever admit.<p>

I make us stop, I've hurt him enough. I stroke his jaw one last time as his lips try to follow me, stopping them before before letting him go and scoot around towards the door. I get out, turning as I give him a smile and put my hand on the top of the door to close it, "Take care, Alberto, and be sure to call me tomorrow about those acres we talked about earlier."  
>"Oh I will, benito, I shall call you first thing in the morning." He agrees and returns the smile and I shut the door gently, waving him off before I head inside the house. Hopefully Randy is asleep. The lights are off from what I can tell but that doesn't mean anything with my house. Randy could be in one of the many rooms thats light don't shine out towards the front of the house. Like the den.<p>

I go inside, being as quiet as possible as I take my jacket off and hang it up in the closet in the hallway. As much as we need to talk tonight I am no shape to talk right now. I need rest and a clear head and a shower would be beneficial too. I'm slow and careful not to make noise as I take off my shoes, leaving them by the front door before deciding I need a quick drink of water before I head to bed. Besides I can take a minute because I'm pretty sure Randy is asleep, otherwise he'd be all over me by now but just, _not_ the way I'd want him to be.

I rub the back of my neck as I head into the kitchen, still weak in the legs from the alcohol so I go slow, trying not to sway but end up doing so anyway until I lean against the counter, a nice cold glass of water in hand. I down it in a matter of seconds, sighing hard as it cools my warm stomach and soothes a slight ache there I didn't know I had. Damn I was thirsty, more than I thought. I get another glass, drink half, and head back down the hallway towards the stairs. I moved too fast though and have to stop, catching my balance on the walls with both hands because the water must have pushed the alcohol into surging through me once again. I sway and I can't help but laugh as I drop my head and wait for the world to stop shifting. I know better than to gulp a bunch of water down after consuming so much liquor but I was just so damn thirsty! But still, shit, can I even make it up to my room now? Maybe the couch would be a better idea! "Cody!" Maybe not.

I lift my head just in time to see Randy turn on the light at the end of the hallway as I squint hard under the brutal lighting. "Yikes, man, turn that shit off."  
>"Where the fuck have you been all night!" Randy ignores me as he stomps towards me, his face pulled into a serious frown, "You left your phone at home!" I did? No shit, my bad. "Sorry." I shrug and push myself from the wall, smiling as I find it easy to stand on my own two feet again.<br>"Sorry?-!" Randy repeats incredulously, "That's all you have to say after you left me here to fucking worry about you all night long! You run out in the rain, driving like a fucking maniac and don't come back till four in the fucking morning and that's all you have to say?-!"  
>"Uhh...Yeah? I mean it's not even a big deal so-"<br>"Not a big deal!" He raises his voice, coming closer with a loud yet, restrained huff as he grabs my arm and surprises me with a possessive yank. What the fuck? "Did you fuck Alberto?-!" Randy sneers in my face, squeezing my arm tighter and tighter as I struggle to answer him. Damn how did he even know that I was _with_ Alberto?-! And **damn**, NO, I didn't fuck him. I _wanted_ to for a brief, _stupid_ moment but it quickly passed and Alberto knew the second it did. In fact we called it quits and he quickly drove me home to Randy because as he said he "could never have my heart when I'd already given it away...". Good call. I do love Randy. Even if the dumb animal doesn't love me back. "**No.**" I glare at him. It's none of his fucking business but if he just _has_ to know. "He drove me home because I'm too fucking drunk to do it myself, alright? So just calm the fuck down and get out of my way so I can go take a shower." Well look at that. I can lie when I'm drunk. I reach up and put my hand over his to shove it away but Randy squeezes harder and jerks me hard enough to make it hurt. "I saw you kiss him before you got out of the car!"  
>"Ssso?" I slur, a smirk tugging at my lips as Randy fumes over me. I only kissed Alberto because he wanted one last kiss and yeah I love Randy but I kissed Alberto. Why? Because it's the last bit of action I'm going to see for a <em>very<em> long time and at the rate things are going right now? It's gonna be a long ass year. "So? SO! Fucking hell Cody how could you be so fucking careless! Alberto is going to tell Mr. Springfield that our marriage is fake! How could you do this!"  
>"He's not going to fucking tell, Randy. And, fuck you for thinking that I'd fuck this up for you, you inconsiderate <em>prick<em>! Try not to act like your Perfect and get off my fucking back!"

"You-"  
>"No! Shut up!" I snap drunkenly. "I'm fucking tired and I want to go to bed!" I fling my arm free and shove my way by, dragging my feet hard because fucking hell I'm fucking TIRED. And drunk. Otherwise I definitely wouldn't be so abrasive with Randy right now. Or maybe I would I don't know, I'm <em>drunk<em>. And mad. Randy should be kissing my ass right now, not shouting at me because he saw a kiss that was none of his fucking business.

"Get back here!" Randy demands but I keep going, rolling my eyes as I hear him catch up with me, turning around just in time to put us face to face once more. What could he possibly fucking _want_ from me? I came home didn't I? And as much as I hate it he _still_ has my heart doesn't he? So what the fuck? I'm home, tired, and ready to go to bed without a fight, isn't that what he wants? "I'm too tired for this-"  
>"No you're too <em>drunk<em> for this." Randy corrects me in a bitter hiss and a hard, furious glare.  
>"Drunk or tired, whatever, I don't care. I <em>needed<em> this after what you did, alright?" I squint my anger at him, pressing my body into his chest aggressively. "So fuck you, Mr. Perfect! I went out and got drunk because I need to get the fuck away from YOU! And if you want to believe that I fucked Alberto then go right ahead! I ain't going to tell you that I didn't again because I don't need to repeat myself since I ain't done nothing to betray anyone's trust around here! That would be _you!_" I finish with a bitter fact and Randy's face drops, the anger leaving him instantly and it's quickly replaced with anguish. Fuck! See this is why I don't want to talk about this shit right now! I'm too fucking _mean_ when I'm drunk!

The hurt quickly leaves Randy's face, "I saw you _kissing_ him, what else am I supposed to think?"  
>"Don't care." I shrug, "Not any of your business."<br>"Since when! Damn it, Cody, you're my fiance!"  
>"FAKE fiance, Randy! FAKE!" I can't believe this, he has no right to act like this! I'm not really his fiance for fucks sake! "I can kiss or fuck whoever I fucking want!" Randy suddenly punches his fist to the wall beside me, "So you did fuck him!" I jump but quickly roll my eyes at his assumption. I did NOT fuck Alberto! "No!" Fucking hell!-! He's going to make me tell him thing he dosen't want to hear! I don't want to but he's going to make me! "And even if I did it's none of your fucking business!" I don't back down even with Randy fuming over me, his fist still clenched against the wall beside my head that doesn't scare me in the slightest. He has no right to be angry about what I did with Alberto! No right at all!<br>"It is my fucking business!" Randy snarls, gritting his teeth as he leans in towards me threateningly, "You're my fiance and you're in town kissing and getting a ride home from another fucking guy! People will fucking notice that, Cody! You're not supposed to kiss anyone but me!"  
>"Ha!" Oh really? "Seriously? Well, I guess you should have told me that before you answered your phone and pussed out earlier because I was kissing <em>Alberto<em> all night." I can't help the smirk tugging at my lips. It breaks free, my head feeling so light with exhaustion and the dulling affects of alcohol that makes my eyes lids heavy as I all but laugh in Randy's face. "And maybe you should have said that before I sucked his _dick_ in the back seat of his suburban."

Randy's eyes grow wide, his jaw visibly tightening with nothing less than pure rage as his eyes darken and narrow upon me like never before. "You _what_?" He hisses and the smirk quickly leaves my face. He slams his fist against the wall, "You WHAT!-! How could you fucking do that, Cody!" He comes so close I have no choice but to press back against the wall, "The fuck's the matter with you, huh! You so desperate for attention now that you're throwing yourself at looser like Alberto?-!"  
>"Fuck you I am not desperate!" What the fuck! I wasn't desperate! I was fucking LONELY! My best friend had just broken my heart and fuck him! Being with Alberto, someone who fucking <em>wants<em> me, felt fucking GOOD. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let Randy take that away from me! I squint at him, searching Randy's dark, furious eyes because I just don't understand him and hope to find answers and quickly I can't help but notice the jealous fueling his narrowed pupils. Jealousy? Really? But I thought he didn't want me like _that_? I thought he was just, curious or something? I mean if he did then why did he just fucking run off like that?

"I can't believe you sucked his dick."  
>"Yeah well, <em>believe it<em>."  
>"You're <em>disgusting<em>."  
>"Jealous."<br>"Fuck you!"  
>"Nope. Sorry. Had your chance and you pussed out."<br>"I'm no pussy!"  
>"Ha!" I laugh in his face again, "Biggest pussy I ever seen, Randy! Why don't you go on out of here and go cry to your girlfriend, chicken shit! I bet she'd love to hear about how jealous you are that I sucked Alberto dick instead of yours!" I laugh again, putting a hand on Randy's broad, tensed chest, pushing him back but he holds firm. Damn him of course he does. So I laugh harder, digging my fingers deeper as I watch him seethe and tremble , his face reddening, a strong, thick vein protruding from his temple. "You want me out of here?" He growls as he forces me harder against the wall, getting in my face so close I can feel his breath on my lips. "No problem! I'll walk out that fucking door right now, you filthy bitch!"<br>"Good! Go! Run and hide the the coward you are!"  
>"Fuck you!"<p>

"No! Fuck YOU, Randy! Fuck YOU! Coward!" I push him harder and this time his other hand came up and with one swipe knocks both mine down and moves himself away with a giant step back. We glare at each other, seething, our bodies tensed with rage as we stare each other down until Randy jerks his head away for a moment and shakes it. I don't know where this leaves us but if Randy wants to leave then I can't stop him. I don't want him to but he's not going to threaten me with him leaving to get me to apologize for being with Alberto if that's what he's looking for. Because I'm NOT sorry and I won't lie and say that I am because Randy suddenly had a change of heart about what he wants from me. I can't fucking help that. I'm not a god damn mind reader and I'm HUMAN for fucks sake. I needed some god damn attention that he wasn't going to give me and I wasn't about to push him for it. I shouldn't have to and guess what? I _didn't_ have to push for attention with Alberto. HE came to ME, and I didn't have to do shit. So how can Randy blame me for that? How could he be so fucking angry with he's the one that pushed me away and ran off at the last fucking second?-! I don't know. I don't understand Randy anymore and if he wants to leave then he wants to leave and as much as that would hurt, I don't think he could break my heart anymore than he already has. It feels like I've already lost him. And that's so strange considering I never even really _had_ him. I just had the _thought_ of him and that used to be enough. But it's not anymore. None of this is enough. Nothing less than being with Randy would be enough and I just know that's not going to happen. Because Randy doesn't love me the same way that I love him. He just doesn't.

"I'm going to bed." I grumble as I push myself away from the wall to head to my room, "If you're leaving at least have the decency to say it now so I don't get the surprise of waking up to an empty house."

Randy scowls harder, his fists tightening into tight balls of rage at his sides, "Oh so you want me to leave?"  
>I shake my head but, it's not that easy. "I'm not going to beg you to stay. If you want to leave then leave, Randy, I've never forced you to stay here."<br>"Funny how all of a sudden you're okay with me leaving when before you fucked Alberto you were pretty adamant about keeping me around so that I could take care of you and pay your fucking bills. So what happened? Did Alberto flash his billfold at you and you just couldn't resist?" What the fuck! His billfold?-! I would gasp in outrage if I wasn't stiff, frozen, stuck in the very place I stand! Because what the fuck! How could he throw that shit back in my face! Randy made the choice to live with me and help with my finances after the floods! I never fucking asked him to do that! In fact I never asked him for anything! "Is that really what you think of me? That all I care about is the money?-! Well try again, you selfish fucking coward! If I cared about the money I would have sold my land a long time ago and you would have been sent back to Canada months ago!" How fucking dare he imply such a thing! I could be pretty fucking wealthy right now if I had given up and sold my land but Randy insisted we could save it! He insisted and _promised_ that he would help and now he's throwing it all back in my face as if I somehow twisted his arm into doing all of this for me? Really?-! Fuck this night just can't get any worse! I shake my head hard as I brush passed a silent but still raging Randy in the middle of the hallway. I'm done. I can't even look at him right now. The bastard hasn't even said he's sorry for earlier and so far I'm a money grubbing, desperate, filthy bitch that's somehow _forced_ Randy to stay with me and help pay my bills. Yeah. I'm done for the night. I've heard enough.

"Where do you think you're going!" Randy shouts after me but I don't stop and he follows, heading up the stairs behind me, catching up just as I reach the top. "Don't you walk away from me!" He sneers as he grabs my elbow and forces me to turn around with one rough yank. "We're not finished!"  
>"Oh no, we're finished." I sneer and pull away but just as quickly Randy takes hold of both my arms at the elbows and with a deep, frustrated growl shoves me back and pins me to the nearest wall, pushing hard. "No! We're not!"<br>"Yes we are! There's nothing left to say, Randy! You made it crystal clear about what you really think of me and it fucking SUCKED. _You_ fucking suck! You throw everything you've done for me in my face because I went out and got something from someone that you were never going to give me! And now you expect me to do WHAT? Say that I'm sorry?-! Well I'm not! I'm not sorry! I'm glad I sucked his dick and I enjoyed every second of it! No, wait, I enjoyed every big, fat, _hot_ inch of him in my mouth-" I stop to smirk, darkening my face with revenge as I spew words I hope hurt him deep. Even though they probably won't. "I _loved_ sucking his dick, Randy. Fucking LOVED it. And I should have fucked him. I _should_ have let him give me that big dick where I really wanted it!"  
>"STOP!-!"<br>"What's the matter! Can't handle that! Well that's how it is now! I fucking love the dick and if you're too much of a coward to give me what I really need then I'll get it from someone else and if you want to stay in the country then that's just something you're going to have to deal with!"  
>"I won't stay here with you fucking everything that moves!"<br>"Then don't stay!" I don't want him to leave but it seems that's what's coming. Randy's going to leave but not before trying to hurt me as much as possible. Maybe I should just tell him he can't? He can't hurt me more than he already has...No one could.  
>"Fine! I'll leave if that's what you fucking want! Then you can fuck Alberto and spend HIS fucking money!" Mother <em>fucker<em>. I slap him. I can't help it. My hand shot up and connected with his cheek, his head snapping to the side before I can even comprehend what I've done, my outrage over his words suddenly forgotten. Shit. See this is why I need to go to bed. I don't ever hit, ever, but rage and alcohol is such a volatile mix. I watch with wide eyes as Randy tongues at the inside of his cheek as his head slowly comes back towards me and I can't help but want to cower. I shouldn't have smacked him like that. Nothing he said gave me the right and I won't be surprised if he decks me right where I stand.

TBC

**Special thanks to all of you who review on a regular basis! You guys are amazing! I try to keep up and reply to everyone but I think I miss a few of you here and there so here's to everyone! Thank you tylerbret, takers dark lover, 80icrazy80, LegacyChick, TerrorRoads, Ortonfan, CANDY-LUVS-ME, AmarettoLove, RKOsNumba1Fan, Kris21xX, and SMango! Thanks so much guys! Hope I didn't leave anyone out!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

***WARNING*-NC17-Yeah there wasn't nearly enough smut in this fic so, here ya go everyone! (Thanks again to all of you who review! You guys are amazing!)**

Randy's eyes narrow and harden further, his face visibly burning with the sting of my strong slap. Fuck I really shouldn't have done that. I keep thinking it but I should NEVER have HIT him. But damn it how do I apologize to that bastard right now? He's said such awful things about me! "You want to hit me?" He pushes harder with a growl like sound that I've never heard from him before. "Because I can hit back!" His hand shoots up, held wide and firm as it aims for my face, my whole body tensing as I wait for the blow. But it doesn't come. I gasp as Randy's hand comes to an abrupt stop just mere inches from my face, hovering there threateningly like he's going to hit me at any moment, and he just might. I flick my eyes between his hand and his face, fighting a tremble. I don't want him to hit me, not like this! Oh god I should never have hit him like that because I so opened myself up for this! Because even if Randy was asking for it I had no right to lay my hand on him like that! No right at all! "I'm sorry..." My voice is small, my breathing becoming more and more labored as I focus my eyes on his hand that's so dangerously close to my face that I can feel the heat emitting from his palm. "No you're not!" Randy hisses, slapping his hand to my face but not so hard that it hurt. "You're just sorry because you know that you're going to get hit back!" His fingers curl, slipping down to my chin, squeezing hard so that my face is trapped. And so am I. "I _should_ fucking hit you but fuck that, I'd rather put that filthy mouth of yours to use."

I frown hard. Wha?-? My mouth? I'm so confused! Oh god please don't let him fuck up my face! "Randy-"  
>"Shut up!" Randy jerks my chin up, knocking my head slightly against the wall but forceful enough for me to feel it. "I know all about what you've been watching on the computer, you filthy bitch!" My eyes grow wide, my gut flipping. Oh god! Oh fuck I must have forgotten to delete the history!-! Fuck!-! That means he saw everything that I was looking at! Oh god, fuck me he saw the pictures of hard, bareback sex that I tried not to save but ended up doing so anyway! And he would have seen all the clips and movies of the men getting tied up and abused that I so desperately wanted to be! He'd seen everything I'd seen if I didn't empty the fucking history! EVERYTHING! OH, GOD!-! "Is that what you really want?" Randy's eyes narrow and I know I'm blushing like mad, my cheeks are fucking <em>burning<em>. Tonight really can't get any worse! Fuck I just want to go the fuck to bed! Please! Please god just let me find a way out of this embarrassing fight and find my way to bed! Please! I shake my head, barely able to move in Randy strong grip around my chin, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. "None of your business." I say weakly even though it's true and Randy should show some fucking mercy and _drop it_. Just drop this whole fucking night and let me go to sleep. "It IS my business." Randy hisses harshly and suddenly mashes his body into mine, yanking my chin downwards painfully, "Stop fucking saying that it isn't!"  
>"It isn't!" I challenge him, stupidly. Oh well if he knocks me out then at least I can go the fuck to bed now. I forget my shame for a moment and find his eyes, almost shivering beneath of the intensity burning within them. Fuck he's so pissed off. I think that vein in his temple just might burst! "You are mine, Cody." Randy's voice is so deep, so vicious and possessive it almost startles me, stealing my breath but I'm too terrified to hope. I could never really be Randy's, I should know this by now but the way he said that, <em>fuck<em>. Fuck fuck _FUCK_. He can't do shit like that! He just can't! It's not fucking fair! Because I'm not his and I never will be!

"Fucking LOOK at me!" Randy squeezes my chin until our eyes meet, the intensity burning through me and straight to my groin. Fuck fuck _fuuuuuck._ Not fair! "Fuck off." I intend to sneer but instead my voice is more like a high pitched whine and brings more shame rushing to my face. Damn it. "That fucking _mouth_ of yours is mine too but I'll get to that in a moment but first?" He mashes us harder, grinding himself into my leg and steals my breath once more as I feel him hard and big against my abdomen, my knee's almost buckling instantly. Ohhh, fuck, please let this be for real this time! Please! PLEASE! I push forward into his grinding cock, panting, already biting back a shameful whine for more. Fuck I want him so bad! He had better not be fucking playing me again! If he is I swear to god I'll knee him so hard not even a doctor will ever be able to find his testicles again. _Seriously_. "You feel that, Cody?" He asks and I can't help but nod, trembling beneath his touch that I'm so afraid to enjoy. Because the moment I do he's going to take it away. He'll leave again and break what's left of my heart, I just know it! I try to recoil but Randy's other hand is suddenly on my shoulder, clawing into me, "You love the dick do you?" His fingers dig deeper and before I can answer he thrusts into my stomach and I gasp hard, almost choking on my breath as his cock rams against me. "You filthy _bitch_, get on your knees."

What?-! My eyes grow wide yet incredibly skeptic. My knee's?-! Yeah fucking right! I'm not getting on my knees for his coward ass! I'm not falling for this shit! "Okay, play time is over, Randy, you made your point now let me go to bed-"  
>"Shut up!" Randy snarls hard and loud, pulling me down and making my knees give way instantly. "I'm not fucking playing with you, I said get on your fucking knees!" He forces me down with a strong hand latching onto the back of my neck and skull, ignoring my flying hands and struggling while forcibly pressing my face against his cock as I crash down to my knee's. I make sounds of outrage but they mean nothing because I can hear him pulling on the zipper of his jeans and if I could see I know I would get an eyeful of his cock that's suddenly disappeared from beneath my face. "Suck my dick!" He orders and I feel him take himself into his hand and smack his cock against my head as he gives me just enough slack to turn and take it. But fuck that! He has no right to fucking manhandle me like this! "Fuck you!"<p>

"Excuse me?-!" Randy yanks my head back by my neck, forcing me to look up at him as I remember my hands and brace them on his knee's pushing myself as far back as I can possibly go. "You fucking heard me! Cut the shit, you fucking asshole! I'm not falling for this shit again!" I shout bitterly and expect him to stop but Randy surprises me, shaking his head violently as he tugs on my neck, "Get your ass back here and suck my dick."  
>"Randy-"<br>"Fucking DO IT!-!" He tears me towards his cock, his free hand tearing my mouth open by my chin. I push hard at his knees but the angle is all wrong and I can't get any leverage and instead my knees slip towards Randy and it's just the give he needs to bring me closer. He puts me on his cock, holding my mouth open even as I struggle. Oh god, please let this be real! Please don't let this be a dream! Randy's cocks brushes my lips, the soft hot flesh sliding against me as he puts my head where he wants it, at the tip of his cock. I brace myself just in time, his cock barreling into my mouth and hitting the back of my throat, filling my mouth so wide my jaw throbs around his girth, his clean, manly, musky scent filling my nose, making my cock twitch and burn for his touch. But I'm still afraid. Even with his dick in my mouth I'm still afraid he's going to pull away and leave me here on my knee's. But what can I do? He's-he's making me do this. He's making me suck his dick and-and...Fuck. I hollow my cheeks around him, pressing my tongue against the hot, silky flesh of his cock. I fucking _love_ it. I draw back a little, closing my lips around him, careful of my teeth, sliding my tongue up and down him, feeling him pulse against me so hard it makes me moan. Randy echoes me, jerking me back and forth on his cock but never completely pulling himself out as he glides against my hot, wet tongue. "Mmm, yeah, that's it, Cody baby, suck my dick." Oh god, when did he learn to talk like _that_? I fucking LOVE it! I shudder hard. Oh god he doesn't even know! I suck him faster, slurping around him slightly because of the angle and somewhat because of inexperience. But Randy doesn't seem to mind. I relax and open my throat a little more, my eyes rolling back as I feel Randy's cock slip further and further without choking me, continuing to hollow my cheeks the best I can. Fuck he's so huge, I can't even imagine how big he's going to feel inside me!

With what reason I have left I latch onto his hips as they start to fuck my face, Randy's hand sliding up my skull, cupping my entire head in his palm while the other holds his shirt up and out of the way. "Mmm, fuck yeah, Cody, you're so fucking good at this." Randy sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, jerking into my mouth a little faster, "Come on loosen up for me, Cody, mmm, yeah, swallow me just like that." I do my best to follow his directions, opening my throat as wide as it can go, almost choking on him as he pushes beyond depths I didn't know he could find. But he found them. And I can barely breathe but I don't care, I pant and moan around him, catching a good breath when I can because I just can't stop! And Randy wouldn't let me anyway! I can see it in his face, he's fucking serious this time and I had better suck him off or he would choke my with his cock until I do. Yeah, I can see all of that in his eyes as he glares down at my while I swallow his cock, watching me hard with a need that burns so bright and intense there's no other way to describe it other than, _dangerous._ Randy's lust is so great it's _dangerous_. Fuck that turns me on.

"Savor it." Randy pushes his cock down my throat, holding it there instead of pulling back to let me breathe. "Mmm yeah savor my dick, Cody." He keeps holding me, my eyes watering as I struggle to breathe, our eyes never parting as he chokes me with his dick. Finally he lets me come back up, his cock leaving my mouth completely, my lips already aching and missing him against them. He's nice to let me catch my breath but, I flick my tongue against the tip of his cock, because I want to. I may be new at this but I've seen enough porn recently to know what to do. That and I'm a guy so it's pretty easy to imagine what a guy wants when getting his dick sucked. He likes his tip tongued, especially the sensitive curve on the underside that I pay special attention to as I close my lips around just the head of him. He likes the suction but not too much that it hurts and I'm careful, alternating between tonguing him slowly and sucking more of him into my mouth, gliding on him several times before going back to tonguing his curve and yes even the dip of his cock, hungrily collecting his hot, manly taste over and over as Randy curses and hisses above me, squeezing my skull in his hand. "Fuck, yes, that's it, Cody, ohhh god yeah that's fucking it, baby. Mmm fuck yeah give me what I want!" His tone turns deep and aggressive once more, "Suck my fucking dick so I can fuck your ass!" A whimper escapes me. I can't help it as I think about Randy fucking me, a need tingling over my body like I've never felt. It explodes and crashes in a hot, heavy wave that moves upwards from my groin, shaking my entire body as my hands curl harder around his hips on their own and I intensify my attentions to his cock. I want him inside me so bad! Oh god I don't care if it hurts I want him so badly that I would be thrilled to get fucked by him right here in the hallway! My first time or not I don't give a shit! Whatever get's his huge cock inside of me faster!

"Mmm you want that, don't you? You want me to fuck your ass." He jerks himself down my throat, holding himself there again. "Mmm, yeah you do. Come here." He says it and I expect him to stop us but he doesn't. Seconds go by and he holds him in my throat, choking me, making me savor every inch of him that I've managed to take, which is almost all. Go me.

Finally Randy's hold loosens and he drags me off his cock. I gasp and choke, my vision blurring as I feel him grab my arm above my elbow, "Get your ass over here." I want to go where he's telling me and I try but I'm so shaky, my whole body paralyzed with ecstasy burning through my veins and throbbing in my cock. I can feel him dragging me but to where I can't tell until I hear the door to our room fly open and hit the wall hard. Shit. This is it, he's going to fuck me. We're going to fuck and it will be my first and-and-and! Oh fuck YES! I want it so bad! So bad I can't fucking move! I cry his name as Randy tosses me face first onto our bed, climbing on top of me like I'd try to slip away if I had the chance. But I won't. Believe me I'd never walk out on this...I just hope that I can say the same for him this time.

I feel my jeans being torn away and lift my head only to have it instantly shoved back into the pillows. Randy's weight suddenly crushes me down to the bed and in seconds I feel his warm breath puffing against my ear. "Stay the fuck down." He demands in a vicious growl, "You're mine, you hear me! You stay the fuck down and take my fucking dick, you got that!" Oh my fucking GOD! I nod quickly, grasping handfuls of the sheets because I realize he's already naked, laying on me with his legs between mine, ready to force them apart at any moment.

Randy sits up, his hands gliding down my back over my shirt until they reach my bare, exposed ass and rake across my skin. I jerk with a gasp, my cock mashing painfully against the bed. Fuck me that feels so good. I push back into his hands as they grasp firm handfuls of my ass, shaking instantly as he pulls me apart. "Mmm, can't wait to break this virgin ass of yours, Cody baby." He flicks a finger across my hole and I writhe in ecstasy instantly as something incredible flares where he's touched me. "Now that I've taken care of your fucking _mouth_." Ha. Smug bastard. He's right though. My mouth _does_ hurt and I'd much rather let him do the talking right now. I nod against the pillows, shaking, panting, trembling as I wait for him to touch me again. He does, harder this time. A hand disappears and something sounds as if its _popped open_ before it comes back. "Got something for you." Randy informs in a husky tone and seconds later something thick yet slick lands and slides over my hole. He's pouring something, fast and quick and then his slick finger returns to my hole. "There we go, nice and slick for me." Randy praises but a hand leaves me again and I can hear the distinct sound of him stroking himself with a hand coated in something _wet_. Lube? Baby oil? I don't know but I'm glad he thought of it. Maybe next time he can do it without lubricant but definitely not tonight.

His finger pushes between my cheeks and finds my opening, dragging over me hard and dipping into me with ease. My body shakes and I clutch the sheets tighter. I know, remember to breathe and relax. Relax mostly, and let his cock spread me wide like it wants.

"Fuck you're tight!" His finger sinks in deeper, another finger toying just at the edge of me for a moment until he forces it inside, stealing my breath but not out of pain but out of pure frustration. I want his dick, not his fucking hand! "I'm going to fucking break you tonight." He warns. But I'm not afraid. In fact I'm looking forward to it! I lift my head but just like before he mashes it back down, crushing me with his weight only this time he's pressing his cock to my hole, already stretching me as the tip slick with oil slips inside. "I said keep your fucking head down!" He forces my legs apart like I knew he would but he quickly places his legs on the outside of mine, his feet behind him and curling beneath my caves and forces me even wider. His slick cock inches in deeper, spreading me wider in the strangest yet, most incredible way. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would. He just feels big. Hard. HOT. Incredible. Spectacular. AMAZING. I push back on his dick, forcing myself to take more and Randy slaps my ass hard. "That's it! Take my dick, Cody! Fucking open up for me and take it!" Fuck yes I'll take every inch of him, even if he tears my ass apart I'll take it all! I mash my face into the pillows, pushing back on Randy's cock and get rewarded with more as Randy bumps more of himself into my body. Oh god...

"Fuck you love this already, don't you, Cody?" I nod rapidly, trying not to hold my breath as Randy's cock finally comes to a stop, buried completely and forcing my ass to spread more and more for what I know will be some seriously rough fucking. I'm looking forward to it. Sure this might not be the most romantic way to loose my virginity but fuck romance, I'm too old for that shit to be my first and thank god Randy realized that because I don't think we would have made it this far if he hadn't. It's fucked up, I know, but still I fucking love this and if he stops this time I'm going to jump on him, pin him down, and fucking take what I want. But with Randy's cock within me and his weight keeping me down to the bed I don't need to worry about Randy leaving do I? He's here and we're fucking and it feels spectacular! Fuck I can barely breathe around him inside of me and there's a weird pain there that's slowly going away with each second that passes. We're ready. _I'm_ ready. I'm shaking, writhing, panting beneath him and I know he's pleased as hell with himself right now. He slaps my ass, hitting me over and over, demanding that I take him all and tighten around him to make it harder. I squeeze my body tight as I'm told, my eyes wide as Randy starts to withdraw, slowly, gliding out of me, sending bursts of pleasure shooting out from my ass and cock. Fuck that feels so good! His cock is so hard and hot and _slick_ and I can feel every wonderful inch and curve and vein he has to give me, sliding against my insides so hard I couldn't miss them. He steals my breath, his cock stopping just at the edge of slipping out and stops, "You're so fucking ready for me." He pants, his fingers clawing painfully into my hips. They haul my ass up from the bed, keeping them in the air but he instructs me to keep my head down and I do. I'll do anything he says or wants with him inside of me, just so long as he keeps himself there and wrecks my virgin ass the way I need him to.

With my ass raised just high enough Randy settles into place over me, sliding in and out slowly, increasing his speed every chance he gets until he's fucking me like, really fucking me the way we both want. Harder and harder he thrusts, bracing his hands over my head for leverage and it works, his pace increasing, his cock ramming into my body wonderfully fast. I won't last long, it's so good and too new and too fucking _incredible_ for my virgin body to take. I'll cum any minute now, I just know it! But fuck this can't end yet! It just can't! "Randy, oh-oh god!" I send out a warning, "More, please! I want more!" Randy hears me and stops, leaving his cock buried in my hole as he leans back and drops onto his side, taking me with him with his strong hands yanking me by the hips. We settle, both of us on our sides, one of my legs pushed up high by Randy's knees, his cock on the verge of slipping away but it doesn't. Randy rams it back inside, forcing forcing my leg higher and spreading me wider and I take more, feeling him wide and thick in my hole. Ohhhh, fuuuck! My eyes roll back. Ohh fuck that helped but not by much! I'm so close!

"Mmm, fuck yeah, Cody, take my dick, baby, squeeze that ass around me yeah, that's it." His words are raspy but heavy against my ear, his tongue flicking out against me sharply, bringing me even closer to orgasm and I know it will be incredible when it comes. "I'm not finished with your virgin ass just yet, Cody, don't you cum yet! Don't you dare!" Oh god! I don't know if I can stop it! I grit my teeth, forcing the building ache out of my head as much as I can, holding my breath because if I breathe I'll cum and I won't be able to stop it. "Fuck yeah that's it, Cody baby, hold it in for me, ride my dick." Shhhhit! No! He has to stop talking like that or this will end in a matter of mere seconds! "Randy!"  
>"No! Not yet! Don't you fucking dare!" He stops, much to my dismay. But before I can even think he's already yanking me onto my back, throwing my legs around his waist, thrusting towards me hard. His cock slams into my hole, our eyes locking as he reaches down and takes my cock into his hand. "That's it, look at me fucking you, Cody, I want you to see us!" He strokes me as he fucks me, driving in hard and fast as he strokes me the same, my toes curling, my spine stuck in a spasm and yanking my back off the bed. Oh god I can't hold it anymore! I'm going to burst! "Shit!" I let out a squeal. "Oh shit oh shit I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" My eyes screw shut on their own, my cock pulsing in Randy's hand as he rams my ass. "Do it, baby, cum for me! Cum around my dick!"<p>

I _burst_. My eyes fly open as my cock explodes in Randy's hand, twitching and jerking hard as I shoot my load over his fist and onto his arm and chest. I can't hear or see, only feel and writhe with ecstasy I've never known as Randy continues to fuck me, bringing wave after wave of climax over me until my cock can give no more and I fall limp against the bed, trembling hard and utterly breathless, my mind completely numb with pleasure. Randy slows to a stop, slipping out and takes himself into his hand, stroking rapidly over my spent cock. "Fuck." Randy hisses, face twisting with release, jerking himself frantically. I stare, captivated by his hand around his cock as it begins to spurt, shooting his hot, sticky, cum onto my skin that makes me convulse. Fuck this is so _erotic_. Watching him cum is one of the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen! God I need to kiss him! I need to kiss him bad!

I reach for him at the same moment he comes for me, our lips meeting half way as Randy continues to cum and stroke himself, our kiss muffling his cries and my moans as his hot, sticky cum hits my body again and again.

Fuck! Fuck me this is so fucking INTENSE! I'm a mess, sore, my ass dripping with oil and stretched from his dick that I fucking _loved._ God he fucked me so fucking good just thinking about it makes me writhe and shudder, my cock twitching between us as our tongues flick and glides endlessly against each other.

Suddenly Randy pulls away, his head rising as he slips onto the bed, his eyes never leaving mine as he settles in beside me on his side, his hand still a complete mess. "Look at what we did." He shows it to me, turning his hand about so I can see all the sticky pearly cum shinning over his palm and knuckles, "Want to help me clean it up?" I instantly nod, of course I do, I'm a filthy bitch like that like. He brings his hand to my lips and I flick my tongue out to it swiftly, collecting a generous amount that instantly warms my mouth. Randy does the same before dropping his hand to the bed and kisses me, mashing his tongue into my lips, sharing the taste with me hard. I shiver. We're so, SO dirty! I fucking love it!

We kiss and share until every last drop is consumed, our bodies slowly cooling, our kisses slowing until we have to stop to finally catch our breath. And we stare, wide eyed and timid. But we stare.

Randy blinks, suddenly seemingly full of thought. "I love you." He seems to blurt out as he grabs my hand. "Fuck I should have told you that a thousand times by now but I do and I want you to be mine, Cody, alright? I don't want you going out and hooking up with anyone else. I want you to be mine and I know you want that too so break whatever it is you have with Alberto _off_ because I swear to all that is holy if I ever see that man again I'm going to tear his arms off and shove them down his throat-"  
>"Randy-"<br>"No, Cody, I'm serious!" Randy scowls hard, shaking his head fast. "I love you and he can't have what's mine!"  
>"No, I know that." I try to get a few words in, "But there's nothing going on between Alberto and I..." I watch Randy's eyes soften with hope, "Really?" I nod quickly, squeezing his hand tighter for reassurance. "I promise, Randy, there's nothing going on there, okay? Alberto knows that he could never compete with you..."<br>"Don't mess with me."  
>"I'm not messing with you, Randy, I'm being serious! I never slept with Alberto because we both knew I would be thinking of you!"<br>"Really?" He rose up slightly and I smile at the childlike excitement in his eyes. "Yeah." I nod, turning onto my side towards him slowly as I stare into his eyes. He has to know that I love him and I'll say it over and over if that's what he needs... "I love you...I-I think I always have."  
>"Yeah? Me-me too." Randy says and pushes himself up higher on the bed, settling beside me with our hands still connected and holding strong. "I mean I've always known that I love you but that I was <em>in<em> love with you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was but just couldn't see it."  
>"Right! Because everything was always so perfect between us and we were too afraid to push for more."<br>"Exactly, why fuck up a good thing? I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad we're here now but I think that if we had done this any sooner that I would have fucked this up and lost you years ago."  
>"Same here." Fuck we're so in tune with this. On the same page in the same book reading the same fucking paragraph. I squeeze his hand, my heart filled with utter content. I just love him so damn much..."But I'm ready now." I tell him softly, "Easiest thing I've ever done..."<p>

"Me too." Randy nods, inching closer, his eyes flicking from my eyes to my lips. "Been dying to hear you say that but didn't know till just now." We inch closer, finally kissing but there's such a gentleness to it this time, and we don't even have to use our tongues. I leave my eyes open as we kiss, gazing at him through thick lashes as I squeeze his hand tight and press towards him firmly, savoring every second of our kiss. So soft and gentle and _tender_, I didn't know there was such a kiss, or that I could ever be capable of feeling this good just to have his lips touching mine. I moan softly, my stomach fluttering with joy..."I love you, Cody." He whispers against my lips, pushing his body against mine, his hand breaking away but doesn't leave my body, instead, finding a more suitable place to put it. He rests his hand on my chest, his fingers spreading out over the broad, firm muscles. "I love you too, Randy." I echo his words and instantly feel his tongue swipe at my lips, brushing against mine and making me shiver. Damn. I'm getting hard again too. It's only been a short while but could I be ready again? Could he? I want to know. I dare to let my hand wander down towards our groin's, searching blindly for his cock that I feel mashed and hard against my thigh. I find it, shuddering as I wrap my fingers around him fully and hold him against my palm and I have my answer quickly. He's ready too.

"Randy." I moan a needy moan and startle myself into letting go of his cock. But before the embarrassment sets in Randy's hand is closing over mine, guiding me back to his cock and makes me take hold of him, keeping me there. "Uh-uh you found what you wanted and now you can take what you want from it." Fuuuuck. I shudder hard, loosing a breath and almost choke. I can take what I want? He should be careful not to excite me like that! Because I just might impale myself on him and fuck up both up from my inexperience! Still though I squeeze his cock, letting him guide me into stroking my fingers down the full, thickening length of him as I gaze into his eyes, biting my lip as I watch Randy's face flush and twist with desire and pleasure. He likes my hand there but I can see the urgency building in his eyes, hear it in our breathing as we kiss and I stroke. We won't last long like this and I don't want us to, I want us to **fuck**. I want to push him onto his back and sit on his cock while I stare down at him so I can watch him fuck me, that's what I want!

"Fuck me!" I pant but I'm already pushing on his chest, getting him onto his back exactly like I want. I climb over him, straddling his waist, bracing my hands on the pillow around Randy's head in one smooth, frantic move. Randy grabs his cock, guiding it between us and holding it, "Come on, Cody baby, get on my dick." Oh god, I fucking love him talking like this! It makes me feel so-so **safe**! I know that sounds crazy but his tone is so possessive and I can tell without him actually having to say it that I'm his. Utterly and _completely_ **his**. I rise up, tearing my shirt off and sliding my legs apart as far as they can go, intentionally lowering myself over his cock. No time for thinking now. I need his cock and I need it inside me or I swear I think I just might burst.

My toes curl the second I feel him pressing against my hole, his dick slipping inside easily as I sink down on him slowly, taking all of him inch by massive inch. I gasp and pant wildly above him, clenching my hands into the sheets, my body already burning with need! Fuck he's so big and hard! I don't know why but he feels even bigger than before and it almost hurts, almost. Randy's hands rise and come to rest on my hips, pushing at them with a deep growl, "Ride me, Cody, ride that fucking dick, baby." He pushes up, grinding his cock unbelievably deep in my hole mercilessly. "Come on! Ride me! Ride my dick!" Fuck!-! His cock! His words! Oh god, his beautiful words and cock! I shamelessly shriek as I rise up slightly, my insides aching as he leaves my body inch by inch. But I jerk back down, forcing him beyond the tight, clenching muscle I can't seem to control this time. It hurts but not enough to make me stop. Fuck that I'd rather be in pain. I rise up again, falling back on him easier this time and dare to find his eyes that are already staring at me, watching my every move as I slowly ride his dick. "You like it like this, don't you?" I nod frantically, gasping as the tip of him brushes something hot, and ultra sensitive deep within my body. Fuck me what _was_ that?

"Mmm yeah your ass is so fucking tight on me, baby, feels so fucking good, don't stop!" He lifts, pushing into me as I come back down. I shriek, his hands tightening around my hips, thrusting upwards into me very sudden and very fast and before I know it he's taken over, fucking me, taking me, rubbing that sensitive spot over and over. That spot throbs and makes me writhe, stealing my breath, coiling my groin tighter and tighter towards another quickly approaching orgasm. I don't want to cum yet, I really don't, but I'm so new and my body is so fucking sensitive to his dick it's maddening! Fuck me I don't know if I can hold it! I really don't!

My legs start to ache as I struggle to keep up with Randy beneath me but fail over and over with shriek after shriek. The bastard figured out my spot and he's using it, angling himself just right to hit it every time he possibly can. I shake my head, holding my, "Gonna cum." I warn.  
>"Do it." Randy snarls up at me, jerking into my hole faster, hitting my spot intentionally. "Cum on me, Cody baby." His jaw clenches, his teeth bared, "Gonna fill your ass with it this time." Yes! Yes, oh please, yes! I want that! It's so dirty! So dirty and filthy and ohhh god I fucking want it! I spit into my hand and grab my dick, stroking wildly, crying out as I pulse against my palm.<p>

Randy snarls and swears huskily beneath me, ramming my spot with his cock, both of us on the verge of spurting but I think I'll be first. And I'm right. My hand strokes me over the edge, my legs convulsing, jerking inward uncontrollably as I spurt hard, my hot cum splattering over us wildly in every direction. I throw my head back with a strangled scream, pressing down on his cock, grinding him against my spot and must have missed his warning because I suddenly feel him spilling; hot and wet, gushing against my insides. It makes me scream again, my cock twitching and giving a few more hard shots as my body convulses and clench my ass tight around his dick. My head falls and some how our lips meet, our tongue clashing passionately, muffling our cries but not our orgasms.

My hand stops, it has to, my cock is so sensitive and raw, aching for rest and utterly spent. For now anyway. I fall carefully against Randy's chest, gasping as Randy slips out of me, his cum already spilling out of me behind him. So dirty, so filthy! I shiver, suddenly kissing him deeper and he must know because his hand slips between my cheeks, his fingers playing over my hole, smearing his fluid around and coating me with it. Filthy bitch! I can't help but smile against his mouth. He likes it like this too! New to this or not we sure as fuck know what we like! "What?" He rasps, his fingers still sliding over me slowly, "What's so funny?"  
>"Nothing." I whisper, my smile widening slowly. "That was incredible, that's all." Ha! That's all! Wrong choice of words but fuck it, he knows what I means because that was beyond incredible. It was fucking SPETACULAR. And all I have to say is, boy did his research. He did his research VERY WELL.<br>"I know, my heart is still racing it was so intense. You like it when I talk all mean and crude to you like that like, _really_ like it."  
>"Yeah." I blush. "I don't know why but, I do. I fucking love it."<br>"Me too!" He pecks my lips, stroking his sticky hand up my back, his eyes brightening with understanding and fascination. "I thought I would be nervous about it but it just comes so naturally and before I knew I was shoving my dick down your throat and calling you a bitch."

I let out a laugh as I start to slide, my legs aching and I need to stretch them out before I cramp up and ruin the afterglow. "Hey I'm not complaining about that." I point out as I settle onto my side beside him, draping my arm over his abdomen. "You can shove your dick down my throat any time you wanted to."  
>"Good to know." Randy laughs, leaning in to kiss me but stops, his head jerking towards the sound of his phone going off in his jeans somewhere on the floor around the bed. He glances at me, seemingly unsure of what to do for a moment as it rings, his body tensing with worry.<p>

"S'okay," I murmur, nodding slowly. "You can answer it." I could use a few minutes to rest anyway. And seriously I can't believe that it's morning already. Hell I'm afraid to even look at the clock.

I smile at him as Randy leaps across the bed and finds his phone without having to get up, swiping the screen to answer it before plopping back down beside me, "Hey, Hunter, what's up, man?" I hear his friend respond from where I am and give Randy's kiss a shoulder, settling in to let him talk with his friend. "I've got good news for you, dude, like, _really_ great, fucking **awesome** news."  
>"Alright then spill it man, don't keep me in suspense all morning, I'm busy right now."<br>"Right, you're getting married tomorrow. Congrats on that by the way, don't remember if I told you that or not."  
>"Yeah, you did. So get to the news."<p>

"I am!"Hunter laughs and I relax. Hopefully this news is as good as he says! We could certainly use some! "Calm down!"  
>"Hunter."<br>"Okay! Okay!" Hunter laughs and teases Randy more, "Here it is, okay? Ysou know those test results in that folder you gave me? It's a dig test analysis, someone was looking for oil and dude, they fucking _found _it. That land you're sitting on right now? _Full_ of oil that's never been tapped so there must be like a major pocket beneath the crust but it's there and from the maps of your fiance's land it's safe to say that no one has laid claim to that oil. Not one drop."  
>"Meaning?"<br>"Meaning?-! Dude the land is worth millions! Like, millions upon millions upon millions! No wonder those assholes you told me about have been harassing you guys into selling, they did all of this under the table to try and keep you in the dark so they could get that money for themselves!"

My eyes are wide, I'm holding my breath. I heard every word but he lost me at millions. No fucking way that's true. It just couldn't be! I could never be so fortunate! I sit up, looking down at Randy in fear but he seems to know without me having to say a word. "Hunter man, are you sure? I mean like are you one hundred percent positive about that? Because that isn't something you should say unless you are."  
>"No, dude, I'm fucking <em>serious<em>. That land is worth millions if you sold it and hell even more if you keep it and pump the oil yourself. This is serious shit, dude, I wouldn't say so unless I knew for sure. But on a more serious level and to be honest I don't think you guys are safe there anymore, you should pack a couple of bags because if those land developers find out that you know what's under that land then they might do something horrible to make sure they get to it first. I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them."  
>"Yeah..." Randy says but we're staring at each other, both wide eyed and pale with shock. Millions? Oil? Is this a dream?<p>

"Listen I hate to drop all that on you at once and leave but I gotta go." Hunter informs quickly, "But I'll see you guys at the wedding tomorrow, I'll bring a list of guys you can talk to about this to get the ball rolling."  
>"Okay..."<br>"Alright, peace, bro, see you tomorrow."  
>"Yeah..."<p>

Hunter's gone from the line for a long moment before Randy lets the phone fall away from his ear, our eyes still wide. I shake my head in disbelief but Randy's nodding, assuring me that I heard what I heard. Fuck...Millions...MILLIONS. I just can't wrap my mind around it. My land is worth _millions_. I'm a millionaire and I didn't even have to get out of bed! I lay back down next to Randy, I have to, my head is so light, like I might faint. Randy pulls me into his arms, holding me tight, "Everything's going to be okay now, Cody...Your days of suffering are finally over."  
>"But what about Alberto's company?" I can't help but worry, "What if they come after us?"<br>"We'll stop them." Randy assures me, "We'd never let them take this away from us." He's right, we'd fight to the death for that money and my land but that's what I'm afraid of. If we're so determined to defend it that we'd put our lives on the line for it then, Alberto's partners just might take our lives. And end them. So no, my days of suffering and worrying are far from over because right now at this very moment, my bank account is still in the double digits and I'm no richer than I was yesterday. So until I get the money and we're safe and sound with everything said and done I'll stop worrying and only then will I stop.

"Come on, we should get up and start making some calls." Randy encourages me but I'm frozen, holding him tight with my face buried in his neck. "No, no wait, not yet, okay? Just let me lay here with you for a while and then we'll get up."  
>"Okay." Randy settles back down, his warm, strong hand slowly stroking up and down my back as he places soft kisses to my head where ever his lips can reach. I just want to lay here for a second and let everything sink in, okay? I don't want to get up and face a whole new world where I may be rich but also might have to fear for my life when I should be savoring the wonderful feeling Randy has left within me after our passionate fucking. Damn it I just want to forget the rest and lay here with the man I've been in love with for so long and enjoy his arms around me because they belong there. Is that too much to ask? I mean hell we've waited years for this moment! YEARS! I think the rest can wait for a few more minutes!<p>

"I think I hear your phone going off downstairs..." Randy whispers after a few moments and way too soon for my liking. "Expecting any calls today?"

Shit. YES. Alberto said he would call about the acres he wanted me to sell, although that's completely off the table now. I am NOT selling the acres and I am NOT going to change my mind. I know that Alberto was trying to help but selling those acres would allow his partners to tap into the well of oil and lay claim to it first. Meaning the oil might be under my land but if they built a rig and pumped it first then my land's value would plummet back to what it is without it. I'd still be broke and my land would be hollowed out and worthless, no thanks. And I should tell Alberto this right away, before he gets the hopes of his colleagues up high, exciting them into possibly doing something stupid when they hear the bad news.

I groan into Randy's neck, "Yeah and I should probably answer it." Although I won't tell Alberto what I know, even if I think I can trust him. I squeeze Randy one more time, lifting my head and finding his lips for a kiss. First things first. I'm going to kiss _my Randy_ and then I'll go return Alberto's call. I kiss him deep and slow, moaning softly as I take my time, gliding my tongue against his, shivering as he does the same and let's me set the pace. Too bad we have to get up. Other wise I'd slide down his body right now and suck him till he burst...But maybe later.

I break away with another groan, pouting slightly as we sit up and Randy rubs my leg, "I know, I want to stay too but we'll back to bed before you know it." Liar. Today is going to drag by, especially since I haven't had any sleep! We get up, me dragging my feet but get my pants back on and don't even both to zip them up before heading out of the room to fetch my phone, a soreness settling in over me. Damn that feels good. It takes me a tad bit longer to get down the stairs but I get there, tip toeing on the cold hardwood floor towards the living room and spot my phone where I left it on the coffee table. I wonder if Alberto will ask about Randy? Or better yet maybe I should have told Randy that I would be calling Alberto? Oh well, too late for that now.

I hit redial on my phone, yawning as I place it against my ear and wait. He had better answer, I hate leaving messages.  
>"Hola, benito, como estas?"<br>"Don't." I grumble tiredly, "Don't speak Spanish too me right now, you know I don't understand a single word you say."  
>"Si, this I know, benito, my apologies." Alberto chuckles warmly and I'm way too tired to find it cute right now. Or maybe it's just not cute because I don't want to flirt with him anymore. "It's alright but look, I've changed my mind about selling. I don't want to anymore and I'd like it if we could just leave it at that."<br>"But Cody-"  
>"No, Alberto, please, don't try to talk me out of it, alright? I've made up my mind and I don't want to sell, no matter the price or if it's a one time offer." Because I no longer need their money, I'll make my own. "And please, do yourself a HUGE favor and don't show up at my door about it anymore because I'm not going to change my mind and if Randy catches you here again he's going to beat the hell out of you." I don't mean to threaten him but it's true, Randy would flip and throw Alberto through his own windshield or worse.<br>"Cody, wait, listen to me, you are not safe there if you say no! You have to take the deal or my partners will stop at nothing to get what they want and I fear it will be you that they take!"  
>"What do you mean? Are they planning something?"<br>"YES. But I don't know what, I just know that they'd been in your house, benito. They've been _inside_."  
>"What!" Those mother fuckers! "When!"<br>"I don't know but you're not safe there. I cannot protect you if you do not take this deal and give them what they want."  
>"I can't, Alberto." I emphasize because I can't let Randy and I down like that. I'm not changing my mind even if those bastards have been inside my home. "I'm not selling and that's final, alright? I appreciate you trying to look out for me but we'll be just fine on our own. We can handle whatever those fuckers throw at us but, I thank you for doing everything you've done for me, Alberto. You've been a good friend to me-"<br>"Cody, please! You have to get out of there!"  
>"Alberto-"<br>"No, please, Cody! You must go!" Alberto shouts desperately into the phone and I frown. What the fuck that's the second person who's said we aren't safe in our own home anymore. Why am I suddenly not safe here! This is my god damn house! Of course I am! "Why? And fuck that! This is my home and I'll be damned if they're going to run me out of it!"

"Don't be stubborn now, Cody, you don't have time for that! You must leave before they find out that you have not accepted their final offer or you and your Randy may not live to see your wedding, do you understand?" Fuck. They're going to kill us over this shit, that's what he means. "Yes, I understand."  
>"Good. Now I will try to hold off on telling them that you've turned them down for as long as I can but I cannot keep it from them for much longer or they will know that I am misleading them so please, be quick, benito. Find a safe place and watch your back."<br>"I-I will." I assure him, swallowing hard as fear starts to well in the pit of my stomach. We're in serious trouble and before I knew my land was worth millions I wouldn't be as worried but, people destroy and murder for sums like what we're looking at. And if those bastards know my land has oil then they're already out for blood and Alberto was completely right. We are running out of time. "I must go, benito, please be safe."  
>"I will." I nod even though he can't see me.<br>"Good, I shall warn you the best that I can so listen for my call."  
>"I will." I say again and he hangs up almost instantly, leaving me standing there with my phone against my ear, my eyes wide and glued to my reflection in the window.<p>

Fuck this is such bullshit. It's my fucking land and my fucking life we're talking about here! And I really don't want to deal with this when I'm seriously a DAY away from getting married to the man I've been in l've been in love with for years and frankly, I'd rather worry about that then this shit! Hell I need to be worried about it because it's TOMORROW. **I'm** getting married TOMORROW. Fuck, if we don't get murdered first! Shit we do need to get out of here but where do we go? What place would be safe if those bastards have been watching us and know where we'd go?

I turn around, wiping sweat from my brow as I call out for Randy. We need to think of something. And quick. Or there will be no wedding. Because there will be no us.

TBC

**Just letting everyone know that from now on I will be posting my one shots and all other AU stories in a new community on live journal called Avec_LesDents :) I like to keep my series here and my one shots on my live journal so if you are looking for any that were once posted here and anything knew then they're on my live journal and in my new AU community. :) **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve  
><strong>

"I'm going to pull the jeep into the stables for the night, could you go unlock the doors for me?"  
>"Sure, I'll meet you out there."<p>

We stop by the front door to kiss, briefly, because we're in such a hurry to carry out our plan of battening down the hatches and riding out the threat of the land developers coming for us until tomorrow night, or at least until after the wedding. To be honest I wanted to leave but Randy made a good point and said that it really wouldn't matter where we went at this point because those horrid bastards would find us anyway and then who knows what would happen. At least with us staying here at home we have the advantage of familiar ground and just maybe we can make it through tonight without incident. Fingers crossed. Alberto called less than an hour ago and begged us to leave because the others figured out that I wasn't going to sell and from what Alberto could gather before they disappeared into their offices was that we had better watch our backs because they've obviously been planning on this outcome for quite some time. Or so Alberto believes. And we do too it's just, what do we do? Call the police? Sure we could tell them what was going on but what _proof_ do we have of any of this? What could we show them that would convince the police to help us? The folder? I thought of that already but it's just not good enough. We need more and since I can't even prove that they poisoned my horses I know I am just as unfortunate with the rest. And asking Alberto to help is out of the question because from what I've gathered on my own is that he's risked quite a lot to try and help me and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him risk anymore. He's done enough and if I were him I'd get out while I still can because come tomorrow who knows what his bastard partners are going to do. Nothing is safe or sacred when it comes to those monsters, this I know now. And this I fear the most.

I linger and kiss Randy a few times more than we'd intended, holding his face in his my hands because I need to. We've barely had a moment to ourselves since this morning. But fuck I'm so tired. If I don't get some sleep soon I'll slip into delirium and what good would I be then? Absolutely none. So I have to get some sleep and so does Randy and luckily we've got everything finished and ready for tomorrow, just have to move the Jeep into the stables and we can head to bed...Heh, yeah, and we'll probably have sex again too, no matter how exhausted we are. Seriously I'm dragging ass here but I'm getting some tonight, even if it's just a quickie. "Let's go." I murmur deeply, "And when we get back we can take a shower, if you think you're up to it." Fuck I hope so!  
>"Mmm, a shower, that sounds nice."<br>"Mmhmm," I moan as I smirk, gliding my hands down to his shoulder, groping his strong, arousing biceps, my groin instantly tightening. I love his arms, don't know if I ever let myself think that but, fuck they're sexy. "The shower in our room is big enough for the both of us." I point out, "I could even manage to get on my knees, you know."  
>"The fact that you've already thought that far ahead!" Randy chuckles fondly, "Gee, Cody, horny much?"<br>"Shut up." I scowl at him, fighting a smile as I wrap my arms around his neck. Fuck the jeep. If I get my way we'll just head upstairs right the fuck NOW. "Don't act like you weren't thinking about it too." I arch my brows and Randy nods, his arms closing around my waist, his eyes darkening with desire and already trying to consume me with it. "Of course I'm thinking about being with you, I have been all day."  
>"Me too." Fuck yes! Upstairs here we come! "You know what? Forget the jeep, it will be fine until the morning so let's just go upstairs and get to that shower before we end up fucking in the hallway." Not that I'd mind but, maybe next time when we've slept and don't have a group of crazy bastards trying to take us out. You know, when we're a bit more <em>relaxed<em> than we are now.

I'm all for going upstairs, already slowly rutting against him as I seek out his lips for more. But Randy chuckles at me, shaking his head as he loosen his arms around me and nods his head towards the door, "No, come on, babe, we gotta move the Jeep and then I promise we'll get to that shower." His arms slip away but he kisses my cheek as he steps back, turning quickly and opening the door. "Come on, it will only take us a few minutes." Damn it. A few minutes is a few minutes too long! I just want to go upstairs and fuck him already so forget the fucking Jeep! I'm fucking horny as hell damn it! "Nooo." I groan but Randy keeps going, laughing over his shoulder as he steps out the door. "Stop whining and get your fine ass over to the stables and unlock the doors, would ya? I'm **going** to fuck you again tonight and the quicker you are about getting the doors unlocked the quicker I can do that so-" I leap out the door before he can finish and in my rush I pass him on the porch, hurrying down the steps because Randy's right, the faster I get the doors open the faster he can park the Jeep and then we can finally go back upstairs and get back to what we started hours ago!

"That's what I thought!" Randy shouts to me and I give him the finger over my shoulder, jogging towards the stables. Instigator. He's lucky I'm already this far away! But fuck it I'll get him later, right now I need to be as quick as I can and get my "fine ass" back inside where it's safer and of course where I can get fucked and go to bed. Sounds like a great plan to me!

I hug my arms around myself and shiver as the stables appear through the darkness on the horizon. Damn it's cold out here. Too late to think about grabbing a jacket now though. I pick up the pace, shoving my hands into my pockets to fish out the keys. I hate that I have to keep my shit locked up all the time but ever since my horses were poisoned I'm not exactly the trusting _type_. At the moment though I'm thankful that the locks are there and that they _do_ add some much needed protection that perhaps I should have thought of before my horses were killed. The locks were Randy's idea but I'm the one who went around installing and mounting them, including the stable doors that I used to look forward to opening everyday but of course, that's not the case anymore. Those two doors themselves have three massive locks that only a key can open. Why so many even though the stables are empty? I don't know I guess it's because I don't go in there anymore and perhaps a part of me wanted to lock that horribleness away so it would stop haunting me but I know now that the only thing that helps keep the anguish away is being in Randy's arms. And I know this now because I haven't had a single nightmare since Randy started sleeping in my bed with me, not even a glimpse! He took them all away and even though I haven't been back to the stables since installing the locks I know I'll be okay to go inside again. Because unlike before I've healed enough. Not completely but, enough. Thanks to Randy, my soon-to-be-husband.

Hmp. My _husband_. Fuck that sounds so weird. Randy Orton, my _husband_. Yikes. If anyone had told me that I would be marrying Randy three weeks ago I would have probably punched them in the face for implying that I was gay. And now, heh, now I'm looking forward to marrying my best friend and hell yes, I AM gay. I'm _so_ gay as far as liking the sex goes because if there's something like a week long fuck-fest I can get then sign me up and grab the lube because a week in bed with Randy sounds absolutely _perfect._..Heh...Yeah I guess I'm a total pervert now too. Kind of proud of it...

I smile to myself as I pull the keys from my front pocket, searching through the first ring for the right one to get me started, shivering hard against the cold. Damn it why do I always forget the damn jacket? I swear I'm going to catch my death out here pulling this shit. I pick a key and hope its the right one. I push it in and it fits, the small key slipping right into the first lock and I have it open in one hard turn. The second one will be easy since it's the same key but the third one's always a bitch. It's bigger and perhaps a bit too high up but I'll manage. And if not then Randy can do it, at least I tried!

Now onto the second. I manage to find it quickly even in the darkness but still shiver, the cold biting at my skin as I slip the keys into the hole; the lock opens nicely just like the first as I eye the third lock above. Damn it why'd I put it so high? I have to stand on the tips of my toes for this shit! I roll my eyes with a irritated sigh as I rise up as high as I can go onto my toes, the key already selected from the ring and ready to go. Now if I can just...reach it. I stretch hard, my arm barely long enough to reach the lock but I manage, the key popping inside and I turn it hard, because it sticks. This time is no different but with another hard turn it finally pops and immediately the doors are creaking as the pressure is relieved across the final wooden bar that holds them closed. I shove my keys back into my pocket and quickly grab the wooden bar. It's easy to push up and I do, slightly shaking, my cold hands working fast as I force the bar up and out of the way. The doors swing open as the rest of the bar is tucked up and out of the way and I rush in but only a few steps to turn the light on, instantly flipping the switch on wall leading to the saddle room that turns on a single bulb hanging above from the rafters. There, I'm done. And now Randy better hurry the hell up before I freeze to death out here!

I hug myself to keep warm as he shuffle my feet against the ground, sighing impatiently. Damn it I bet the Jeep wouldn't even start in this cold ass weather. Randy's probably held up just trying to get the damn thing going I bet! _Piece of shit_. That's the first thing to go if the money starts coming in, that's for sure! Tonight though hopefully he'll give up quickly if it doesn't work right away and come get me so we can go back inside because I _know_ he's just as exhausted as I am. And probably just as horny too. Which just thinking that makes me even more impatient so I need to distract myself or these next few minutes are going to be excruciatingly long.

They are. Time drags on, my body growing colder and colder as I wait a good five minutes before I finally hear Randy's feet crushing towards me in the dirt and let out an scoff that I make sure is loud enough to reach outside the doors, "Took you long enough! I was just starting to think you weren't going to give up on that piece of shit." I smile as I sway tiredly, letting my arms drop as I turn to take care of the light, "You get to help me lock up," I tell him in amusement, "So hurry up!"

"Take another step and I'll blow your fucking head off!" What the FUCK?-! "I mean it, faggot! Take one more fucking step and I'll blast your brains all over the fucking floor!" A deep, manly, unfamiliar voice continues to snarl behind me as something hard and round like the barrel of a gun is pressed hard against the back of my neck. "Don't move!"

I freeze just as I'm told, my heart pounding, my stomach flipping and churning with horror. Oh god it IS a gun on my neck! And the bastard behind me HAS to be one of Alberto's partners! Who else would it be?-! Of course it's one of them because only those sick fucks would be twisted enough to show up here and shoot me over this shit! "Put your hands in the air!" The man shouts at me and gives my head a hard bump with his hand, "Fucking _faggot_!"

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Twelve PART B**

**I spent so long going over this and just can't fix it. It's so rushed but I tried to slow it down and make it as realistic as I could but some areas you can tell I struggled. Be nice lol I tried!**

SHIT. "Okay, easy..." I slowly put my hands up, swallowing hard as my heart races out of control with panic and terror. Shit shit SHIT!-! There's a fucking gun pressed to my head! A fucking GUN! "Keep your hands up and turn around." The intruder demands and I instantly do as I'm told, keeping my hands up high as I turn. "What-what do you want from me?" I dare to ask, fighting like hell not shake as I stare into the barrel of a gun now pointed directly at my face. Whatever it is that this guy came from isn't worth killing anyone over so he could put the fucking gun down and I'll give him whatever the fuck he wants. I'm not about to play hero here and FUCK! I really hope that Randy gets hung up getting the Jeep started or hopefully takes his time because if he came driving up at this moment one of us is going to hurt, I just know it!

"We want your land, Mr. Rhodes! That's what we want from you!" The man steps closer, ramming the end of the gun downward against my chest hard enough to make me gasp in pain. He's huge, standing a few inches taller than me, his dark ugly brown hair dirty and twisted in several disgusting looking dread-locks and he's just as hairy as he can be in a black tank top and jeans. I don't recognize him but I don't need to for me to see that he's an evil bastard like I imagined Alberto's partners would be. I bite back a shudder of terror. Oh god, please don't let him kill me! "You can have it!" I look down at the gun in horror, my voice cracking, "It-it's yours, I promise! Please, just don't shoot me!"  
>"Oh don't you worry about that, faggot, our plan isn't too hurt you because we need <em>your<em> signature on the deeds to the land but, your lover? He's going to help us make sure you do that but if you give us any trouble then, well, one our fingers just might _slip._..." He trails off with his threat as if waiting for something and I follow his eyes over his shoulder towards the open doors. Oh no. Randy!

"Keep moving! Come on, hurry the fuck up!" That wasn't for me. That came from outside the stables along with the sound of feet shuffling against the ground towards us, a recognizable grunt echoing into the air around us. My heart sinks, my gut wrenching with terror as I stare wide eyed and terrified at the open doorway, the strong silhouette of two men rapidly approaching and before I can even see them I know one of this is Randy, I just do. "Look you don't have to do this." I try to reason with the man before me, "There's no need to hurt anyone here, alright? I'll give you the land and then you two can go and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened."  
>"Shut the fuck up." He snarls and I flinch as he digs his gun deeper into my rib-cage. "You had your chance to sign over the land without anyone getting hurt and you blew it, you stupid faggot. This is on you now, bitch. Your lover will die tonight if you don't give us what we fucking want!"<br>"I will!" I promise and mean it, "You can have it! I swear!" Fuck is this guy fucking deaf! I said they could have the fucking land! What more does he want! "Cody!" I hear Randy call before he spills into the light inside the stables and I freeze with a hard gasp. Randy wants to come to me but he stops, he's forced to by a gun pressed to his temple and a shorter, blonde haired man dressed in all black as well that I've never seen before and there's not a damn thing either of us can do about it. The man at my side takes the gun from my ribs, mashing it upwards into my jaw instead. "He already said he'd sign everything over." He says to the other man against Randy but my eyes are on Randy, both of us desperately trying not to panic and save the other from the guns keeping us in place. I want to run to him, shield him from harm and get us the fuck out of here! But I can't move with the gun in my throat and neither can Randy with one against his head. All we can do is stand here and-and _wait_. For what I'm not sure but it can't be good, not with this much muscle and ammo around.

"Alright just hang tight then, Wade's bringing the deeds." The man holding Randy replies quickly, his eyes flicking back and forth between Randy and me as his finger visibly itches over the trigger and makes my heart pound with pure, devastating horror. "No!" I cry out, jerking forward only to be pulled back instantly. It doesn't stop me. I shake my head, trembling pathetically with fear as I turn my eyes to the man beside me. "Please, don't! I'll sign it just, let Randy go!" I can't take it anymore! "Let him go!"  
>"Cody, no!" Randy snarls, "Don't fall for it!" He tries to jerk free but the gun clicking against his temple stops him, his eyes clenching shut tight as he wait for the bastard beside him to pull the trigger. "No!" I let out a frantic, desperate cry, "No, please! I'll sign!"<br>"Cody, no!"  
>"Damn it's not worth you dying, Randy! They can have the fucking oil!" I don't want to do this but I'd rather be poor <strong>with<strong> him than rich without him! Because if I lose him the money isn't going to bring him back! He'll still be dead and I might as well be dead too because without him I can't function, I can't breathe or live or have a purpose! So I have to protect him! Even if it means I have to give up _millions_. FUCK THE MONEY! "Cody, don't do it! They're just going to kill us anyway!"  
>"Shut the fuck up! Get on your knee's!" The man beside Randy orders, ruthlessly kicking at Randy's feet and Randy has no choice to do as he says, falling hard onto the ground, landing with a painful hiss. The man beside him keep the gun to his head, his finger still itching over the trigger and making me so nervous that I can't stand to look. Oh god please don't let Randy die! Please! Please! PLEASE!-!<p>

"What's all this ruckus, in here, gentlemen? I thought I told you to keep them quiet?" Oh no, oh fuck, oh fuck! I _know_ that voice! Fuck it's _Wade_, yet another one of Alberto's partners but this time I fucking know the bastard! This time I've had the unfortunate luck of meeting him twice or more before when he was trying to convince me to sell over a year ago. He hadn't come around in quite some time though, just Alberto. Who strangely enough I wish was here right now, even if he would tell me that Randy I should have left when we had the chance, even then.

"We're trying." The shorter blonde one sneers and the one beside me nods, "This one won't shut up." He adds and cruelly mashes the gun painfully into my jaw and neck, "But he said he'd sign!"  
>"Of course he did." Wade scoffs and the evil bastard smirks, stopping in his tracks by a small wooden table I long ago put beneath the light switch on the wall. "He doesn't to <em>die<em>."

I clench my teeth, biting back a nasty set of words that would do more harm than good because, Wade's right, I don't want to die. I want this whole thing to be over and done with so if they want my land they can fucking have it and leave us the fuck alone! I seriously don't care about the money or my house and if I have to choose between them and Randy I'm picking Randy! I'm picking him and I'll do anything to save him! Anything!-! I relax my jaw and give a single nod, directing my attention to Wade as I gather my courage and try to stay calm. "You're right." I tell him, "I don't want to die so I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen, alright? There's no need to put a gun on us because we'll give you what you came for and pretend this whole thing never happened."

"Perhaps you're right." Wade nods and just like the gun is pulled away from my face and the hairy goon steps away. "But I'd like to point out that there is no need for _any_ of this, really, but you've been quite difficult about our situation, haven't you?" I glare but nod because I know that's what he wants. And I'm right because Wade smirks again, his hand reaching inside his jacket for what I hope isn't another gun. "I take it you won't be so difficult now, will you, _Cody_?"  
>I glare harder as Wades smirk turns sinister, biting my tongue. Son of a bitch! "Just hurry up and get this over with!"<br>"Here!" Wade finally pulls his hand from his jacket and I'm relieved to see it's not a gun but a thick stack of paper folded in thirds and just small enough to fit within his inside pocket. He also has a pen, the amusement leaving his face as he unfolds the papers, slamming them against the small wooden table. He shoves the pen towards me, "_Sign_." He sneers and I instantly yank the pen from his fingers, ignoring Randy's protests behind me as I press it to the paper, "Let Randy go and I'll sign, but not before."  
>"Fine." Wade says and gives a nod before the man standing beside Randy steps away but Randy's smart and doesn't so much as <em>blink<em>. Good call. I wouldn't trust the bastard either.

Wade huffs impatiently as he taps the stack of stapled papers, glaring at me with such dangerous intensity it's frightening. I've only known this _Wade_ asshole for a a short while but already I can tell he's a bastard. And not just a bastard but a complete and utter **monster** set on destroying my life and all the good things in it. My chest tightens anxiously just _looking_ at him. "**Sign**." He snarls to me and I drop my eyes down to the stack of papers once more. Here I go.

I sign, snapping the pen down hard. There. My land. All of it. "Satisfied?"  
>"<em>Very<em>." He snaps the papers up and folds them quickly and smirks, his head drawing back arrogantly with a smug, confident chuckle as he tucks the folded deeds inside his front jack pocket. "Thank you but it's too bad it had to come to this, Mr. Rhodes, this was all so unnecessarily and futile, and a complete waste of time. You could have signed the deeds months ago and been done with it but you just had to push it. You just had to be stubborn and lead our colleague Alberto into believing that you were going to sell your acres only to trick him at the last second because you thought you could outsmart us. Tsk tsk tsk, Mr. Rhodes, shame on you."

"You got what you wanted." I sneer, "Why aren't you leaving!" I'm not going to argue with him about any of this because they can fucking GO now! We're fucking done here aren't we?-! They stole my land and our futures and got everything they wanted! I'd say we're done! "We're not quite finished here." Wade's smirk turns sinister, his eyes flicking between his two goons who quickly set their eyes upon me, their pupils darkening menacingly. What the fuck? "What do you mean you're not finished?-! I've given you everything you wanted!"  
>"<strong>Not<strong> _everything_." Wade emphasizes and I don't like the dark glimmer in his eyes as he arches his back, his arms drawing back, his jacket already starting to slip over his shoulders. "There's one more thing you could do for me, Mr. Rhodes, and I hear you do it _very_ well."

I frown even though I am already, my chest tightening. "The fuck you talking about?" What do I do very well that _he_ would know about? I step back as Wade approaches and Randy snarls in outrage behind me, raging against the men holding him away. "Get the fuck away from him, you ugly son of a bitch! Don't you touch him!" Touch me?-! Wade is going to touch me?-! My eye grow wide as I move back faster, almost tripping. The hell he is! I'll kill that son of a bitch first! "Where do you think you're going?" Wade catches up with me quick, grabbing my arms and pulling me towards him hard, "Come here, give me some of that pretty mouth." What the fuck?-! My mouth?-! Oh hell no! I shove him hard, knocking his hands away with one furious sweep of my arm. I'm not giving him SHIT! "Don't fucking touch me! You got all that you're going to get here, you fucking bastard! Get the fuck out of here!"

"Oooo," Wade suddenly coo's strangely still eying me like a hungry predator about to attacks it's pray. "So it's a struggle you want then?" His lips spread out into a sickening, wide smile, "Have it your way. Tyler, Michael?" He calls to his partners, the hairier one coming forth wit his grubby hands already flying out to grab me. But I'm quick, jerking out of his reach but fail to get away when I bounce against Wade and find myself shoved into the arms of the man I'm trying to escape. Shit! Tyler's strong arms close so tight around my torso. I know not to panic and flail but I can't seem to stop myself as I desperately try to pry my way out of this. I am NOT getting raped tonight! No no NO this is NOT fucking HAPPENING!-! I snarl, kicking backwards at Tylers legs but miss over and over and his arms grow tighter and tighter. I can barely breathe, each breath I let out he squeezes just a bit harder, holding firm as my muscles quickly betray me without the precious oxygen they need. I fight it, pushing my arms out with all my strength to break free but Tyler's grip won't budge! "Let go of me!" I howl in outrage, "Get the fuck off of me!" No no no fucking NO!-! I won't let them do this, I won't let them win! "FUCK YOU!-!"

"There's no sense in fighting us!" Wade suddenly interjects, "It's three on one, boy!"

"The hell it is!" A familiar, deep, S_panish_ voice suddenly booms around us and everyone including me freezes. "Get away from him, Tyler, I told all of you not to hurt him!" Something loud and metal clicks and instantly Tyler lets me go and I jerk away, stumbling out of his reach. But what the fuck? "Alberto?-!" I call, whirling around and find him there and I don't think I've ever been happier to see him! "Alberto!"  
>"It's alright, Cody. Everything's going to be okay." Alberto assures but doesn't move out of the doorway, his eyes sad and pleading but for what I don't know.<p>

"Oh hell no! Fuck THAT!" Tyler's arms suddenly close around my waist, yanking me back against him hard enough to knock a puff of air from my lungs and with his gun pressed to my stomach. I don't fight him, not yet. Trying not to get shot here.

"Let him go, Tyler, NOW!"

"Fuck you, man. You got a piece of him, Berto, so the rest of us should get a piece too!"

What the fuck? Get a _piece_ of me?-! Oh I'll give him a fucking piece! I jerk my head back and around as far as it can go, "Fuck you!" I spit at him and throw my elbow back hard, aiming for his gut and manage to ram him hard enough that his arms loosen and gives me what very may well be my last chance to get away. With a furious snarl I ram Tyler's arms and I break free and fall, landing on my side, skidding in the dirt to a stop. Shit! I recover quickly as I scramble to get up, desperately searching for Randy, hastily rising to my feet on shaky legs. I find Randy, he hasn't moved, his face pale with horror. But he reaches for me with a single hand stretched outwards into the air, his lips mouthing my name over and over, begging me to come to him. I try. I take a wide step but know I won't make it as Wade suddenly darts out of the shadows beside me. "Where do you think you're going, faggot!" I'm too late and too slow. Wade's big hand snakes around from behind me, his arm curling around my shoulder, his fingers finding my neck, closing hard around my throat. He spins us around as chokes me, squeezing hard even as I back up against him to relieve the pressure and horrible pain over my adams apple, my hands flying up to pry him away. I claw as hard as I can, my heart racing with fear as I struggle to breathe.

I choke and gasp as I dig deeper against Wades and feel them give and somehow just as quickly as I got the leverage I succeed and get free. I spin around towards him as I cough painfully hard, my whole body screaming for me to fall. This is just happening too fast! I can't think, I can't breathe! "Enough!" Alberto roars and is suddenly between us, a gun pressed directly against Wade's chest as he pushes me behind him and just in time as my knees start to quiver. "I said NO!" Alberto's scream echoes loudly around us but if it was supposed to intimidate Wade it didn't because he doesn't so much as flinch! Not even with a fucking gun pressed against his chest!

"I told you we were not going to hurt anyone here, Wade!" Alberto rages as I continue to choke for air and rub my throat, inhaling sharply around the pain, fuck he almost crushed something!  
>"Because you're fucking <em>weak<em>, Alberto! You always have been! And we've put up with it long enough!" Wade's head jerks in a summoning gesture and both Tyler and Michael draw their guns, pointing them at Alberto. FUCK! Oh god we're going to fucking die here! I just know it! "We're tired of your bellyaching and your wretched whining, Alberto. Especially about your precious _Cody_ when he doesn't even want you! You've wasted so much of our time and you've been standing in our way since day one! We're bloody _sick_ of it!"  
>"Sick of <strong>ME<strong>?-! How dare you, you sanctimonious son of a bitch! How dare you make ME the enemy when you've taken something that does not belong to you!"  
>"Fuck yeah I did!" Wade boasts arrogantly, "And now I'm going to <em>take<em> Cody and make his faggot-boyfriend watch me do it! I'm going to have Tyler and Michael hold his fucking eyes open so he doesn't miss a _second_ of what I'm going to do to him!"

"I'll _kill_ you." Alberto jerks the gun up from Wades chest and jams it against his temple despite the two men advancing on him. I press against him even though I shouldn't. I can't just leave him here like this!...Can I?-!

"You won't touch, Cody, you hear me?" Alberto sneers, his accent thick, his words almost broken, "I will kill you, right here!"  
>"Not before Tyler and Michael kill you first!" Wade jerks his head away, the gun leaving his temple and giving him the second he needs to knock Alberto's arm down with one hand while his other massive fist flying up in the same instant and punches the side of Alberto's skull. Alberto goes down, his gun flying, all eyes watching it spin through the air out of reach, even Wade who shouldn't be. Because with Alberto on the ground I have a clear shot to land a punch of my own and get his damn gun and I'm going to take it. With all my strength I reel my fist back and quicker than he can see I hit him hard in the temple, pain exploding over my knuckles and wrist as the blow sends Wade crashing to the ground, his gun slipping out of his hand.<p>

My hand is throbbing in agony but I scoop the gun up and whirl around to the men behind me, their guns drawn but they back away a couple of steps as I click the safety off on the heavy gun I'm seriously thinking about using, hastily taking enough steps towards them and plenty enough to get away from Wade. I don't have a second to waste."Put your guns down!" I demand but they don't, both men stay exactly as they are, their eyes flicking back and forth between me and their fallen colleagues. "I said put your fucking guns down!"  
>"Shut the fuck up!" Tyler grows bold, "It's still two guns on you, bitch! You don't have control of shit right now so YOU put YOUR fucking gun down!"<br>"I'm not putting _shit_ down, motherfucker!" I stand my ground, full of bravery I didn't know I had in me as I glare the other men down as hard as I can. "Both of you drop your guns or I swear to God I'll blow both your fucking heads off!"  
>"You don't have the balls, faggot!" Tyler takes another step but the blonde doesn't follow, he steps back quickly, my eyes growing wide as he reaches Randy and raises the gun over his head, snapping the barrel down and strikes Randy across his face, sending Randy's head so hard to the side he collapses to the ground without a sound. Fuck! "Randy!"<br>"Say goodbye," Michael aims the gun down at Randy as he picks up and places his foot onto Randy's inner thigh, holding him down even though he's almost completely unconscious. "Or put your fucking gun down!"

I drop my gun despite my mind screaming and telling me not too, dropping to my knees with a terrified scream, "NO! RANDY!-!" Oh god oh god oh god! No! Please! PLEASE! "GOD DAMN IT YOU SICK MOTHER FUCKERS!-! JUST LEAVE US ALONE!-!"  
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Michael and Tyler scream but I'm relieved to see Michael coming towards me, gun in hand and off of Randy. Good. Let him come to me instead! Let him kill me and let Randy go! Because this is all my fault! If I had just sold the land months ago we wouldn't be here right now!<p>

Michael reaches me along with Tyler, both of them standing over me with their guns aimed at my head. "What's so fucking special about _you_?" Michael sneers and its so random. "Why all this fucking trouble for a stupid trick like you!"  
>"I know, he's not even that hot!" Tyler adds.<br>"Hot enough to fuck, though, right Alberto?" Michael laughs cruelly and I hear Alberto curse him softly but Michael doesn't, I think. He must not have because he lowers his gun, a smirk spreading over his lips, "Yeah, definitely hot enough to fuck."

Is that all what they want? To fuck me? Is that what it will really take to get them to leave? Would it-would it _save_ us? I blink rapidly. Fuck I'm so exhausted and scared and I'd do anything to make all of this just fucking STOP. Maybe I should just let them fuck me and get it over with? Randy's down, Alberto's down, and it's three on one when Wade finally gets back up and by the deep groaning he's making I can tell that will be soon. Because damn I hit him hard but apparently not hard enough and the other two? I can't take both of them, I just don't have the energy and they'd probably shoot Randy before I could even land a good hit so,...so...What-what choice do I really have? If fucking them will save us and it's the only choice I have left then...then...

I give up, slumping, my heart sinking into my stomach. I have to let them, I have to because it might be our only chance to make it out of this. "Do what you want..." I choke out and I sound so fucking pathetic it makes me sick. "I-I won't fight you."  
>"No?" Tyler suddenly grabs my chin, yanking my head towards him painfully hard. "But it's so much more fun that way!" Crazy <em>fuck<em>, it would be something they'd prefer! They _would_ get their jollies off on raping me and making Randy watch just because of the pain involved! Sick fucking bastard! I'd spit on him again if I could! "Just get it over with." I sneer bitterly, yanking free from his hand as Tyler lets out a deep, sadistic laugh and shoves my face with his entire meaty, disgusting hand. "Shut the fuck up, bitch, we'll get to that ass soon enough."  
>"You will not touch him!" Alberto suddenly shouts, apparently back up on his feet. Fuck I just hope he has his gun!<p>

"Get the fuck away from him!" Alberto roars but this time he comes rushing out of the shadows, barreling into both Michael and Tyler and all three of them crash into the darkness, guns flying, everyone howling in outrage.

Oh my god, fucking yes! Yes! We still might have a chance! I jump up, slipping and almost go back down as my legs shake and give way. Fucking hell this is not the time for this! Come on legs don't fail me now! I push harder, steadying myself but still sway as my legs scream for me to stop, utterly exhausted and weak beyond salvation. But I push on, taking steps after step, swerving off my path until I stop, my arms out for balance, my head spinning. Fuck fuck fuck. Come on, Cody, you can do this! Just a few more feet! "Randy!" I call to him and he stirs, groaning as he covers his cheek with his hand, a small gash slowly pouring blood down his cheek. "Cody?" He calls back as he sits up, pushing himself up on his other hand and I force myself to take another step, my throat still aching and tightening as I struggle with my legs. But I'm almost there!

There's some commotion behind me, the sound of a tough fight and I can't tell who's winning and there's no time to stop and check, I just hope it's Alberto. My legs shake hard but grow stronger as I shuffle them into another step, my heart pounding harder the closer I get to Randy. Almost there! "Randy, get up!" I need him to be ready so we can run out of here and I sure as hell can't carry him! "Get up!"

Randy's hand jerks away from his face and he seems to spring into action as he kicks his feet beneath himself and pops onto his haunches before standing up, falling back against the wall even as he fights to come for me. I sway but don't fall as I try to pick up the speed. I'm so close! Just a few more feet-"Cody, behind you!-!" My head jerks around with Randy's panicked scream but it's too late and once again I was too damn _slow. _Something solid and hard like a piece of lumber, is already in mid-swing towards my head and connects just as quickly as I see it. My head explodes with pain beneath the solid long piece of wood, the world around me thrust into darkness as something hot and thick pours violently down my face as I feel myself fall to the ground...

I hit the dirt in horrible, throbbing, burning, intense pain that's shooting down my whole body from my head as the darkness thickens. I feel my body convulsing, going into shock as the pain rages over me and drags me further and further away but where it's taking me I don't know. It's just darkness. Cold, hollow darkness.

I keep going, giving in to the sensations and suddenly the pain lessens, slowly subsiding as I fall further and further into a cold yet peaceful abyss...

I'm floating. Floating with time frozen around me beyond the darkness that seems to have no end.

Something thick suddenly fills my nose. Something elegant and fragrant like perfume. It's pungent, so much so that I can almost taste it as it overwhelms my senses and seems to block out any pain I should be feeling as the scent grows and thickens. And I know was it is now. It's strange but, r_oses_. I smell roses. Thick, vibrant, beautiful roses full of life and in full, spectacular bloom, and now I can _feel_ them. They're touching me with their soft, cool petals as they glide across my lips and cheeks, stroking my face with such tenderness as they call my name over and over and over again. Their voice sounds familiar and wonderfully comforting as it rings in my ears, pulling me away from the fading reality and I feel myself leaving with a hard gasp, everything suddenly growing so very _warm._

Instantly I feel my body relax, a strange sense of _calm_ washing over me as the roses carry me through the darkness towards a growing light. Not even my heart races as the light grows brighter and brighter nor when the scent of roses suddenly disappears, the light washing over me, forcing my body to swallow the darkness with a gasp. I'm coming to, I can feel it. But the pain, fuck the pain will return any second and I don't know if I can brace myself!

I feel my body stirring, my heart rate increasing and, silence...Ringing in my ears...Roses. A faint scent but, roses. "Cody?...Cody?...Babe?..." Randy, his voice, oh god I can hear him!

"Randy?" I call back in a strained tone, anticipating immense, unbearable pain to come rushing back to me at any moment. But it doesn't come. I wait a few more seconds, daring to lift my head slightly but still, nothing. Actually my head feels fine, not even sore or stiff. What the hell? With my eyes still heavy and closed I reach up, my hand feeling weak but other wise okay too. Slowly I touch my hair, checking it for any missing patches where I might have a horrible gash but find my hair just a mess. Intact but, a mess. I frown, pressing my fingers against my scalp and still nothing. What the fuck? Okay this is getting fucking weird, shouldn't I be in pain right now? I let my hand drop. My eyes aren't really open either, maybe that's why? Maybe I'm just so out of it I don't even know the pain I'm actually in? Yeah. Yeah that has to be it and really I should just lay here and do everything I can to relax and wait for help to arrive. I just hope Randy is alright and that those fuckers are-are-are, shit, wait, where _are_ they anyway?-? Or, how long was I knocked out?-!

"Cody?" Came Randy's voice again and the roses are suddenly back but this time they're brushing across my lips, slowly back and forth as Randy calmly continues to calls my name. "Cody, come on, baby, **wake up**. You can do it." What the fuck, why does he sound so _calm_? I just got hit in the head for fucks sake! Shouldn't he at least be _slightly_ panicked? And where is everyone else?-!

I try to open my eyes and they feel heavy with sleep but after a few tries they finally flutter open and I hold my breath and wait for the pain to set in. My eyes ache as I force them open too fast, the dim, florescent lighting above me whiting out my vision and forcing me to squint. What the hell is this? Florescent lighting? The stables don't _have_ florescent lighting. I rub my eyes, utterly confused as my eyes finally start to come into focus and reveal a room I've never seen before. _And Randy_. I focus on him dressed in all black, standing beside me as my eyes finish adjusting to the painful lighting and squint up at him in utter confusion and horror, "Where am I?-!"

"The hospital, babe, but you're okay." Say WHAT?-! My heart starts to race, my breath catching in my throat. The fucking _hospital_? But-but that's impossible! I was just in the stables and-and my head! My head just got hit, didn't it?-! I reach up and touch my head full on this time, my eyes widening as they find a nicely healing but small scar against the back of my scalp and nothing more, not even a touch of pain as I run my fingers over it. Fucking _shit_. "How long have I been here?-!" I whisper, my throat suddenly dry as I let my hand fall away and star up at him in horror. Fuck this is bad, this is REALLY bad!

"Two weeks." Randy breaks it to me in a gentle tone, his eyes soft and full of concern but it does nothing to take the panic away from hearing the news.  
>"Two weeks!" I repeat incredulously as I sit up, my eyes so wide they hurt as I frantically search the hospital room and desperately try to get a grip. No, no this just can't be right! Two weeks has not come and gone without me!<br>"The doctor kept you in a coma to give your head a chance to heal," Randy explains slowly, "but everything looks good on the cat scan now so he took you out of the coma...You're supposed to be on the mend now..." He swallows hard, squeezing my hand tight, visibly struggling to find his words, "We were just waiting for you to wake up."

I nod slowly because it's all I can get myself to do, the rest of my body frozen in utter _shock_. Because, two weeks? That just can't be right, I have to be dreaming! I frown hard, looking up at Randy and can't help but think that maybe this IS a dream. Because what the fuck is going on right now really? Five minutes ago I was laying on the ground in the stables with my head busted open and now I'm suddenly in a fucking _hospital_ room and I've been there for _two weeks_? This HAS to be a dream. I couldn't have missed two weeks and not know it, not like this! I shake my head in disbelief, opening my mouth to speak but can't seem to find the words. Fuck it. There are no words for this shit right here. None whatsoever!

"Hey?" Randy gets my attention by grabbing my hand, "It's _okay_, Cody, everything turned out alright-"  
>"What about Alberto and his partners?" My head shoots up, my mind already racing. "Where are they!"<br>"In jail, where they belong." Randy squeezes my hand, "And Alberto is just waiting for my call. I told him I'd let him know when you woke up."  
>"So he's okay? I-I mean <em>everyone's<em> okay and we got the land back?" I ask and Randy quickly nods but, shit, I'm still so lost and to be honest a little scared too. Because if this shit is real then missing two weeks of time is a fucking TRIP. I mean I missed everything! I missed how everything went down after I got hit in the head, which apparently went well since Randy says they're in jail now. And then of course, I missed the fucking WEDDING. I missed the one thing in my life that I was sure about and the fact that Randy is still _here_ is baffling because Mr. Springfield was pretty adamant about kicking Randy out if we didn't get married on the first. So yeah, I'm lost, confused, and now that I think of the wedding I can't stop my heart from aching. I **really** wanted to marry him like, REALLY wanted to. But, does he even need me to now? Probably not.

"What about the wedding?" I dare to look up at him, resisting the urge to bite my lip. Does he even need to marry me now that we have all this money coming in? I wouldn't think that he would since we can afford a decent immigration lawyer for him but then again maybe he does still need me to marry if that's what the lawyer suggests so, I don't know. I just hope that he does. I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry as I wait for Randy to answer. Fuck he probably doesn't even want to marry me if he doesn't have to. It's too soon! We've only had sex _twice_ (thanks to those assholes who just about knocked my head off) and I've been in a fucking _coma_ for two weeks so I can't imagine Randy wanting to jump into marriage with me, even if that's what I really want. I lower my gaze, focusing on my hands laying lifelessly in my lap. "Never mind." I grumble. "You probably don't need me to marry you anymore, right?"

"Nope." Randy replies, his voice relieved. "Not anymore. My new lawyer said I should have been granted citizenship years ago so he's put in the paperwork and I should have my new temporary visa soon and then after that it will take about a year to get my full citizenship." I nod slowly as I listen, barely able to contain my disappointment. This just isn't fair. I was less than twenty four hours away from marrying my best friend and that was taken from me too. I lost my chance and now here I am waking up from a fucking coma hoping that he still wants to even _be_ with me. Why? Because he has everything he wants and needs now so, what does he need me for? Absolutely _nothing_. "So no wedding tomorrow then." I confirm for myself aloud and do my best not to sound disappointed as I shift my gaze towards the window. "Samantha must be so disappointed..."

"No she's just happy that you're going to be okay." Randy replies, keeping his voice soft and gentle as if he's afraid I couldn't handle anything more. And maybe I can't. "In fact she told me to call her when you woke up but I know you're probably not up to company just yet."  
>"No, sorry, not yet." I'm still letting all of this sink in and trying desperately not to curl into a ball and hide under the thin hospital bed blanket. So no, I don't feel up to having any company right now. I'd much rather it just be the two of us. "I just want to go home." I tell him, "Can we go home?"<br>"Soon," He answers much to my relief, "The doctor will want to check you out before he discharges you but once I tell him that you're awake it shouldn't take long to get us out of here."  
>"Would you mind telling him then?" I request but keep my eyes focus out the window on the rolling dark clouds of yet another winter storm lingering above. "I really just want to go home now."<br>"Sure." Randy's voice softens more as he agrees but, I don't hear him leave. In fact he just stands there for a long moment before I let my curiosity get the better of me and dare to give him a glance, our eyes meeting briefly but it only took me a second to see his concern, and most of all his anguish. "You okay, Cody?"

I flinch. No, I'm not okay. It feels like just minutes ago I was just a day away from marrying Randy and now I'm not and just about everything has changed. It's just so unreal. And _unfair._ "Yeah I'm okay," I lie and force a weak smile. "Everything's just a bit weird for me right now, you know? The last thing I remember is getting hit in the head and then suddenly here I am, sitting in a hospital room trying to cope with a reality that's more like some really fucked up dream. It just, doesn't seem real."  
>"You don't remember anything after getting hit in the head?"<br>"No, nothing at all. I remember getting hit and laying there on the ground but in my head it was as if I never actually lost consciousness. Like, as I was laying on the ground I felt like I was floating in the dark and suddenly I kept smelling roses. And feeling them touching my face too."

"The rose was _me_..." Randy admits timidly as he glances at a single rose on a table beside my bed as if I might be outraged by his confession but I'm definitely not. In fact I'm stunned. He really woke me up from a coma with a rose? How did he even think of _trying_ that anyway? "I could smell it in my dream," I add with a quick nod, "It-it must have woken me." It **must** have. And my twisted head must have been playing the last three weeks of my life over, seeming to last the actual time of those three hectic weeks but actually it all just flashed across my minds eyes in a matter of seconds as Randy brought me out of a darkness that I'd fallen into. That _has_ to be it. It HAS to be! But fuck, it's just so damn _weird_! I could swear I could blink and be right back in the stables with my head busted open like it was all over half an hour ago. But I blink and I'm still here. Still..._in the hospital_. I look around as I take a shaky breath, the room a dull, beige and my blanket an even duller light green, covering me from abdomen to toe. Damn this is just so strange. I don't think I could ever explain it right but it's like moved ahead in time and if I wanted I could move back...But that's not true, of course I can't move time, Wade didn't hit me _that_ hard.

I close my eyes for a moment to let the truth sink in. But it doesn't make me feel any better. Because even if everything turned out well for my land and our money situation I still missed the chance to marry Randy. I _still_ missed that. "Anyway I'm just ready to get home and into my own bed." I change the subject, sort of. "These hospital beds are fucking _brutal_." I just want to go home because maybe there something will make some fucking _sense_! And besides that my back is starting to feel sore laying on this hard ass bed in this ugly ass room.

"I know." Randy agrees but his voice is still soft only now it's full of doubt and I feel his hand closing harder over mine before I even have a chance to look at him again. But I do and this time I can't look away as he gazes down at me, slowly bringing our hands upwards, turning them so mine is turned outward as he brings it to his lips. He kisses me softly, closing his eyes as if he's truly savoring just the feel of my hand against his lips. He stops, gently lowering our hands to his chest, pressing them there with a pleading expression, "I'll go find the doctor for you in a few minutes, okay? Just-Just give me a few more minutes? I-I just got you back." He doesn't want to leave my side and I don't want him to either but, I seriously want to go the fuck home now. I squeeze his hand, "How long do you think that will take?"  
>"To find him or to get you discharged?"<br>"Discharged."  
>"A couple of hours."<br>"Oh, _great_." I let out a heavy sigh.  
>"Hey I'm just happy that you're awake now so if two hours is all I have to wait to take you home then so be it. At least you're awake and I can see your beautiful blue eyes again..."<p>

I smile a little for him. Randy, such a charmer. "Yeah well its good to be awake but it would be nice to be at _home_."  
>"Yeah and in our bed, I feel you on that, I've been sleeping in the chair over there in the corner for two weeks."<br>"Yeah?" I perk up, gazing up at him hopefully, "Does that mean it's still _our_ room?" I don't know why I think he's going to move out just because we're not getting married anymore but for some reason I just do. Maybe it's because of how fast everything is moving and hearing the news that everything is suddenly "okay" when to me it _wasn't_ okay minutes ago and I'm just fucking _panicking_ right now so everything seems to uncertain and like I just might loose the only thing in my life that makes me happy. Maybe _that's_ it. Maybe I need just a fucking minute to _catch up._

"Of course it does." Randy assures but with a frown. "Why wouldn't it be _our_ room anymore?"  
>"I-I don't know." I stutter as I try to cover my doubt. "Just asking..."<br>"Cody, _nothing_'s changed between us. I still want to be with you and unless you kick me out I'm not going anywhere and even _then_ I probably still wouldn't go."  
>"Really?" I can't help but sound hopeful even though my voice is hoarse. "You still want me?"<br>Randy's head jerks back, his face flashing with hurt as he hold over my hand falters. "Cody..." He starts then stops, his eyes dimming with confusion and more hurt, "How could you even ask me that? I've been by your side twenty four seven for the last two weeks and before that for the past five years! Of course I want you!" He leans down over me, suddenly grabbing my face in both hands, "Don't you remember that I love you?" He searches my eyes, "Or have you truly forgotten?"  
>"No, no I remember, sorry." I shake my head rapidly as my doubt completely vanishes. Randy loves me, he really does! "But...Am I still your <em>fiance<em>?" I dare to ask and hold my breath, eying his lips as I push my face into his palms and hope for the answer I really want to hear because let's face it, we should have done this a LONG time ago. _Seriously_.

"I hope so." Randy answers softly and smiles nervously, "That is, if you still want to get married even though we don't _have_ to."  
>"<em>Oh<em>," My heart flutters. Of course I still want to marry him! "Well-well yeah, I-I do. I mean, I _still_ do."

Randy's face brighten, his whole demeanor changing instantly. "You do?-!" He's so excited, "Really?-!"

"Yes." I nod quickly, smiling at him because he's just so adorable when he's excited. That and, I'm SO fucking happy right now because I might have been in a coma for two weeks and missed my wedding but at least I still have my Randy. At least I woke up and despite the weirdness of it all I'm glad I remember. I'm glad I hadn't lost a single moment of what led to me to where I am. "I love you." I tell him, and I'm so grateful that I still can. "I love you too, Cody." He wants to say more, I can tell, but he's struggling and I won't push him. He missed me. He loves me. And he almost lost me. I already know what he's going to say...

Randy gives up on speaking and kisses me and I let him, carefully wrapping my arms around his neck and hang on him gently, wanting so badly to pull him down to the bed with me but don't. I don't think my body could handle it honestly, and not only that but if I want to get the hell out of here then I need to let Randy go and get his ass moving.

After a long but tender moment I start to let my arms slide down his shoulders but he only kisses me harder, grasping my face in a desperate, tender hold as a soft, pleading sound suddenly escape from deep within his throat. Not yet, he's telling me, not yet. I nod against his hands. Oh, Randy. He missed me so much it almost killed him, I can tell by just the way he touches me, his whole body trembling, his breathing shaky as we kiss, slow, deep, tender and so damn passionate I'm almost choking on his tongue, melting like putty in his hands. And I wouldn't dare stop him. My arms return to his neck as Randy moves even closer, leaning over the bed incredibly far as he consumes me with his desperate need to _touch me._

I want to go home but this is too wonderful and we can wait to get the doctor for a few more minutes, I think. Randy moans deep and I quiver with need before he's even finished.

Yes.

Yes we can wait.

**THE END**


End file.
